Holiday Survival
How can you increase your happiness during the holidays?
I spend a great deal of time talking about how to manage holiday expectations, surprises, burnout, and overwhelm. This week I want to focus on how love, support, and well-being improve during the holiday season. Cultures that include a large number of celebrations and traditions score higher on scales of happiness and resiliency. Resiliency is very important to our overall well-being as it is our ability to bounce back from difficult situations or setbacks. So here are my tips for capitalizing on the holiday season to boost your happiness and resiliency scores.
Gratitude, of course, is on the list. Gratitude helps so many different aspects of mental health. This holiday season spend time focusing on what you appreciate. I don’t mean just having, food, shelter, and clothing but all of the little things also. I challenge you to focus on appreciation and gratitude for your family and friends. What is it about each of them that you really like? Whatever that is, tell them. Prior to each celebration think about who you are going to be with and then identify things you appreciate about those people. Too often, we get stuck in a negative mindset about our family and friends, turn it around, and seek out ways you appreciate them. Another way to practice gratitude is to identify ways your body and brain serve you each day and give small moments of gratitude for all the amazing ways you show up in the world. Finally, give gratitude around where you spend your days. What do you love about your living spaces, office, outdoor spaces, drive to work, and places you spend time? There is so much I can find to be grateful for just in my drive to and from work each day. What about you?
Service: The holiday season is a great time to give back to others. These do not have to be large grand gestures or donations. Shovel a neighbor’s walk, donate a coat, help someone in the grocery line, pay it forward at the coffee shop, or bake an extra batch of cookies to give someone. No matter how small find a way to give back. I challenged myself and my children to turn service toward family during the holiday season by giving back to those we see daily. It is so easy to leave a kind note, do an extra chore, make a bed or prepare a special snack for those we love. We can surely find ways to give service to those within and outside our homes this holiday season. By giving back to others we are increasing our own happiness and resilience.
Connect with others: Get out of your comfort zone, off your phone, or out of your shell this season and connect. We can connect with those in our homes, at parties, and in the community by being purposeful and thoughtful around connection. Ask yourself how you can show up less distracted and truly seek connection from others. Show others you care by asking questions and being interested in them. Check-in with yourself around fears related to connection and create a game plan to be present and engaged during holiday events. I promise it will lead to greater amounts of happiness. If talking is harder to do then create activities that provide connection such as decorating, looking at lights, or meeting for a hot chocolate or coffee. Find a way to get that connection that works for you.
Focus on the positive: I hear about and have talked about how difficult, lonely, and stressful holidays can be. However, they don’t have to be. We have so much power to change our world by just shifting our focus. Make it a point to find the positives around the holidays. Look for the good in others and in ourselves. Maybe choose to take a break from media about negative events so you can focus on the positive events for 2 months. Ask those around you to give support by talking about the good things and finding the silver linings. I know this sounds so simple and trite, but it really does work.
Make it last: I find this last tip to be one of my favorites. I work with kids a lot day to day and those whose families have already decorated for the holidays have come into my office, singing, excited, and happy. After some further research, I learned this was a phenomenon many people have experienced and noticed in their own lives. So, decorate now! This simple thing makes the holiday season last longer and gives us feelings of excitement, anticipation, and cheer sooner. So, hang up the holly, decorate the tree, make those cookies, sing the songs, and start to watch the holiday movies ASASP! Tell those Grinches who complain you are improving your mental health and theirs by making the season last longer.
The year 2023 will soon be here and let’s be honest, February through April are hard months for those of us in the winter climates. So, my challenge for you is to find ways to squeeze every ounce of happiness out of the holiday season so it can carry you forward. I also challenge you to spend time each month finding a way to celebrate and engage in traditions. There is a great body of research to support how traditions improve mental health, bring families closer and improve our personal relationships. Have a happy holiday season!!!