Safety In Conversations
How to create conversations free from shame. Regardless of whether the conversation we are talking about is with ourselves or someone else here are some rules I hold to for creating safety.
1- Take out shaming language such as should, must, ought’s and have to; these are all very shame based and create a feeling of not being or doing enough.
2- Identify power differentials, avoid things which either give the other person power or take away your power. You know what you are feeling and your feelings ARE valid!
3- Don’t be afraid to be curious and ask the questions such as, “are you thinking of harming yourself,”, “tell me about sadness”, “are you feeling more anxious”. We don’t ask the questions because we are often afraid of the answer and feel inadequate. We all want to be seen and heard so we are not alone. Sitting in heavy emotions is not something society prepares us for. However, sitting with others in the darkness is what brings light to us all. If you are still concerned reach out to a mental health professional or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Crisis text line if texting is easier 741-741.