The Frenzy of Fall
A conversation on stress management and nesting behaviors
Last weekend I found myself making a very extensive list of things to do. Many of these items included aspects of cooking, spending time with family, and decorating. Reflecting back, I can see some nesting impulses coming up.
What is it about fall and the change of the season which brings these urges up, and am I the only one who feels this?
Doing some research on the topic I found a couple of interesting things I would like to share.
Fall has historically been a time of stress for humans. We were preparing to make it through the long winter and have enough food and warmth to survive. This was a time of high productivity as we harvested and prepared spaces for long winter months and nights. Religious and cultural ceremonies focused on change and protection. Families gathered to support each other through the long nights as the days shortened, bringing with it less sun and more darkness.
Research shows during times of transition and stress we engage in nesting behaviors. These behaviors provide us with a sense of calm and control during upheaval and uncertainty as we feel the shift moving us from warm days to the cold winters. Reflecting on my own needs and actions during times of stress, I am definitely a stress cleaner. I have a shop where I go when in need of letting go and rebalancing, typically my time there starts with me cleaning and organizing as a way to settle into and take control of the space. Given the research and historic evidence of human behavior, my need to nest and organize is typical and driven in part by the unbalanced feeling of stress.
During times of change (such as the change of season) and stress, we can fall into the trap of becoming unbalanced in our daily lives from the added bursts of energy towards projects, our nesting behaviors, and the emotional pull we feel impacting established norms. I often fall into this trap and autumn ends up packed with so much I do not enjoy the season.
How do we find balance during times of change?
The first step is to get curious!! This is my go-to for most everything. Anyone who knows me is aware I am a question asker. I not only ask other people questions because I am curious but am curious about everything within myself. I had a college professor who said, the difference between healthy and not is the ability to question ‘the why’ around how we are behaving. So, look inward and ask the question, why am I feeling unbalanced, how has my behavior changed, what might be going on around me, what is happening in my body, etc... The first step to understanding is asking the why questions.
The second step is to evaluate the answer to the why question. What needs to occur to recreate balance and how is the imbalance impacting my life? Also checking in on some basics such as sleep, nutrition, exercise, work, family responsibility, and self-care factors. Evaluate how much energy you are willing to put into finding balance. Just because you realize it is a problem does not mean you can or want to devote time to make changes. Evaluate your desire to have some unbalance and change in your life. Excitement and entertainment are basic needs in our life, perhaps the need to have some imbalance is serving a purpose and this is eustress which is defined as moderate or normal psychological stress interpreted as being beneficial for the experiencer or experiencing stress for a positive outcome. Stress and unbalance are not always negative, so evaluation is important.
The third step is to decide and accept the action or nonaction. In my situation, I evaluated and decided some level of stress and nesting behaviors around the season is positive. This allows me to connect with my partner about some house projects we both want to get finished up and allows a sense of accomplishment and achievement for us both. We made a plan for managing the stress and built-in checks and balances, so we do not get overwhelmed with the project. Define your rebalancing or maintenance plan along with how to maintain curiosity regarding progress or the need to make changes.
I do feel the societal pressures to be productive or at times less productive as people do like to share their thoughts so, a reminder to be true to yourself, your needs, and your definition of balance. Balance looks different to everyone. The important thing is to make a decision for yourself and to find time to enjoy the changes in life