Ep 25. Mastering Stress: Harness the Power of Movement for Your Mental Health
In episode 25 of 'Untangling Relationships', hosts Janae and Penney explore the relationship between movement, stress, and mental health. They exchange personal experiences with physical activities like yoga and CrossFit, highlighting the impacts on their physical and mental well-being. The conversation interrogates societal and personal expectations around physical wellness, the mental obstacles people often face, and the power of community in this context. The hosts round off the episode by sharing practical tips for embarking on health journeys, emphasizing the importance of flexibility, compassion, and small, consistent steps toward improvement.
Introduction
The role of movement in managing stress
Personal experiences and perspectives
Taking the step towards physical activity
Challenges in maintaining a consistent workout routine
Impact of exercise on mental health
Talking about the mental health aspect
The irony of exercising on mental health
Impact of energy levels on exercise
Supportive elements in a movement practice
Finding balance in movement practices
When exercise isn't helpful
Ep 25. Managing Stress Through Movement
Janae: [00:00:00] Welcome to untangling relationships, a conversation between a counselor and a yoga teacher, a gen X-er and a millennial and a mother and daughter join us as we explore the ins and outs of relationships with your host, Janae and Penney. Hi and welcome. Welcome to another episode, episode 25. We're halfway to 50.
Penney: where we going to be talking about managing stress through movement
Janae: yeah, I think this is a good one to talk about towards the beginning of the year and into January is this can be. A big push at the beginning of the year for a lot of people who set fitness or health-related goals in their new year's resolutions. And. Coming from a body positive or body neutral standpoint. , talking more about how movement. Can be used for good and not for punishing.
Penney: yes definitely.
Penney: We're going to focus on the mental health aspect of it as looking at people's new year's [00:01:00] resolutions. A lot of people are focusing on mental health in this year. Of wanting to have lower amounts of stress and improve mental health. Yeah. I found
Janae: in the Forbes health website, Improving mental health is within the top three goals of. The research that they did. Which is just interesting. , I think that. Since the pandemic, I think mental health has become. More at the forefront of a lot of people's
Penney: minds. Absolutely, which is amazing.
Penney: We're so happy for
Janae: that. Yeah, I think it's a really big. push that's been good and helpful. So,
Penney: absolutely. So we're going to focus on how movement helps with managing stress. So you can put both of your goals together. If you have a fitness school and a mental health goal.
Janae: Definitely. All right. So we're doing some questions. , so Penney, why do you step away from exercise?
Penney: I think I get stuck in the cycle that a lot of Americans do that we feel overwhelmed and have less and less time.
Penney: And the thing that's easy for us to [00:02:00] take away is time to exercise. If you have to choose between. Sleep or caring for your family or folding laundry or doing the dishes or preparing a meal. Uh, we tend to choose those other things and let exercise go. Um, and I definitely fall into that same
Janae: trap. Yeah.
Janae: And I think that. The mental hurdle of. Preparing yourself to do movement and exercise can feel bigger than sometimes we have the capacity to hold. Um, it's funny because a lot of the times when, right before I teach a class, I'm like, oh, Dang it. I don't want to teach. I don't want to do this. You know, I'm just feeling really low energy.
Janae: And then at the end of the class, I always feel great. And so I started using that as like a little bit of a reminder or mantra to myself of like, you're going to feel good at the end of this. You just have to start. Yeah, you're going to be glad that you did it. [00:03:00]
Penney: Every time. I can't think of one time I've ever stepped into doing it and then said, oh, I wish I wasn't doing this.
Penney: I always think, oh, I'm so glad I did. This feels so good. Yeah.
Janae: Yeah. , I think for me, stepping away from exercise has come from.
Janae: Feeling overwhelmed with other parts of my life. And I think when we look back on other episodes and things that we've done around. Polyvagal. Mapping and the ladder and recognizing that once you've fallen. Down on the lower parts of your nervous system. You feel less connected to the outside world? You feel less safe. And a lot of exercise comes from the ability to feel comfortable in your body.
Janae: And there's a little bit of playfulness that's required. At least. How I approach exercise, um, It's kind of like. All right. I need to be [00:04:00] connected to my body a little bit playful, have some fun music going. And when you're down on those lower parts of your ladder, I just feel like that. Becomes harder to access.
Janae: Well, I
Penney: think just accessing the body and being able to check in with the body becomes less because our body is in a pace of either fight flight or shut down. We are not checking in physically with our body. We're really just focused on. scanning. The world, right? For safety, for cues for finding our safe place. And so we're not checking in with our body.
Penney: We're doing just the opposite.
Janae: Yeah, I really wonder how much that, that contributes to the statistic that you found, where it says research shows 17% of Americans exercise all the 76% recognized the importance of exercise for our physical and mental health. And then it says that. Uh, even though we recognize that it's important for coping with stress and anxiety and depression, when we feel stressed, half of those who exercise [00:05:00] regularly, skip exercising when they're stressed and turn towards. Electronics. Eating. Uh, watching television or other numbing. Techniques.
Janae: And I feel like that just falls. So in line with when we do those mapping things, and we talk about what's your relationship with food? What's your relationship with substances and electronics when you're in this. Nervous system state. It makes perfect sense. Yeah. it's also so frustrating when it's like, but we know if we do interact with movement, check in with the body, even if it's on a really small scale. It can help push us back up to the, higher parts of our ladder, where we want to be.
Penney: And it's something that's valid to talk about that level of energy, because when we are. Moving down.
Penney: Our ladder in our adrenaline is pumping right. Cortisol is flowing and those neurochemist chemical things are happening. We're exhausted. Body is working at a higher rate. Chances are heart rate is even [00:06:00] faster. So then asking our body to do something along the lines of exercise could just feel really big. 'cause we're already feeling physically exhausted.
Penney: And so maybe in those moments, it's good to remember. Maybe I can do something that's exercise and movement that doesn't require the same level of energy exertion to help balance that out.
Janae: Yeah, a creator that I follow on Instagram.
Janae: And I'll try and link her stuff below. She talks about and leads her clients through creating, she calls it like a movement rainbow. It's like, depending on your energy level for that day. You have a preset list of things that you can and maybe would like to do. So it's like stretch for two minutes, go for a five minute walk. And then, you know, as. Your energy energy level is increased to the options on your menu.
Janae: Maybe increase in energy output, like lift weights, or [00:07:00] run, or do some cardio thing. so I really liked that. And I like that she has people create those menus or those lists. At the beginning. So that when you're in that state, I mean, we've talked about that so often, like create a plan before you're in the mess of. That he has something to hold on to. And your brain isn't having to work to find a solution you've already, your past self has already found the solution.
Janae: You just have to follow the plan
Penney: because we know when we're in that state, we can't create the plan. Because mentally. That's just not where we're at mentally. We want to do that.
Janae: Yeah. Cognitive thinking. Solution-based part of our brain is just not online, so we can't rely on it.
Janae: All right. The next question we have is what do you find supportive about your movement?
Janae: Movement practices?
Penney: Something that really works well. Is we do yoga. I joined Janae. Three times a week, for yoga. And I would say the things most supportive about [00:08:00] that as I walk out my office door and it's already set up, so it's really hard to leave. Um, I mean, it takes a different level of Nope.
Penney: Not going to do that versus just coming out and getting in the space. So I would say that's extremely supportive to have the support of somebody that's expecting you to be there and also community there's other people in the class that. Are expecting you to be there and also keeping track of checking in with my body and noticing when I take time off how I do feel in my body and. And where that's at also recognizing a challenge for me coming right from work, head ADHD.
Penney: So transitions are important for me, but coming from a space in my head of work and a very mental, emotional place to being in my body sometimes can be really hard having to check in and be present. Fully in my own body. Uh, it takes me probably 15, 20 minutes to really be okay with it. And sometimes in about that 20 minute mark. I [00:09:00] want to rip my skin off and run away because it's really hard for me to stay there and be there and do it. And I have to. Sit in that uncomfortable and ride it out.
Penney: And it is not an easy thing. So I would say it's not simple. It's definitely a hard thing. But I also notice after I get through it, how I feel music is a big thing for me. Um, in fact, a joke, if you ever come to Janae's class that I am in that you'll just have to deal with my music because I can't do the flowy soft, quiet music.
Penney: We do music that I can sing to and move to. And that's really helpful for me. So I would say in any type of exercise I've done, whether that's CrossFit or walking or exercise or biking or anything, music is really important to me, definitely helps get me in the space to be able to do that and be there.
Janae: Yeah, I love that.
Janae: You talked about the. Mindfulness and mind body connection that you've had to develop in order to be able to. Stay [00:10:00] present and trusting. Yourself that riding through the uncomfortable parts to get to the other side. You know, you're not just. Numbing through it. And you're also not pulling the rip cord, right?
Janae: As soon as you. You know, start feeling that, not that that would be a bad thing. I think that. One thing that can keep people from coming into these spaces is feeling like you're trapped. And once you've started it, you can't stop or leave. And, you know, we've all had moments in yoga class where we have said, okay, I'm tapped out even before the hour of the classes up and that's totally normal and fine. It is. Everyone else who feels up to it keeps going.
Janae: And there's just, um, compassion and understanding around that for the people who maybe They're, they are tapped out and that's okay. So, yeah, I love that. So I w another thing that I heard [00:11:00] about. Things that you find supportive is, , The community aspect, which I definitely relate to. And also lowering the barriers to getting there. Yeah. Uh, is so helpful, like making it. Part of your routine, having it set, knowing that there's people in community there that you can interact with, but also who are somewhat holding you accountable. And then having least amount of barriers.
Janae: Like you keep yoga clothes here. Um, And. We have our set times that we know that we're going to do class and yeah, it's just really helpful.
Janae: All right. Um, for me. I find. Support through movement practices when they're. Uh, A nice balance between structured and flexible. I think that it needs to be flexible enough that if something goes awry and I miss. [00:12:00] A day or whatever, it doesn't feel like I've failed. And so one of the new year's things I'm doing is doing yoga in the mornings and doing a little bit of filming around it for work. And. over the weekend. I didn't, this was the first weekend I've been doing it, so I didn't know how it was going to go.
Janae: And I went out of town, so I didn't do it on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. And then Monday came around and I did. Two minutes of stretching. And then this morning I did a full 15, so it was just kind of allowing it to be flexible. But also, still have some structure around it.
Janae: Yeah. I love. The community that I find. Through yoga and I think its funny. You and I talked to students. And I say, like kudos to you for coming here because. If I wasn't the one teaching it, I would not have. Near the amount of, um, movement. Within my day or [00:13:00] within week. And I recognize that it is hard to stay consistent and go to classes.
Janae: Um, I think I knew that about myself and maybe that's why I chose to. To teach it because if I'm not teaching it and people aren't. Waiting on me to come. I might not be there doing it. So. Yeah. It is helpful. And I will say in the past, having other teachers in my life that I really like and going to their classes at some of the studios I've taught at has been really amazing. I miss that.
Janae: And I'd like to refine that. But. It is helpful to have a community and. People that you like to do things with and join in with.
Penney: So. Interesting listing to our support community is important for both of us were structured, is important for me. And flexibility is important for you. So I think just recognizing that we're all so different and it's going to mean different things to different people, what support and progress and, and what you need to feel supported around that. [00:14:00]
Janae: Yeah, I think that's one thing that it's like when you're. Starting off into. News. Maybe your new top five things to. Uh, to make sure you're doing or, you know, following the plan or whatever.
Janae: I think that it's helpful to recognize within yourself. What did you find helpful? What's going to be supportive for you? I think it's great to find creators and. And people that you can follow and have them help you work through it, workout plan or whatever it is that you're doing. But being able to recognize that you're an individual and what works for someone is not necessarily always going to work for you.
Janae: And so taking the judgment out of that and. Adding a little bit more self-reflection I think is helpful. Yeah.
Penney: So I want to take a minute. And just since we want to focus on the mental health aspect of it, take a minute to talk about why exercise helps with mental health. You're okay if we do that for a minute.
Penney: Yeah. I think remembering [00:15:00] that. When we do step into like a talked about being able to step out of my mental, emotional space and into more of a physical space. That what that does is that allows me. Um, first to get out of that fight flight response. Right? Cause I have to check into my body and find safety, but that's not going to happen right away.
Penney: So the first thing that it really does. Is it really takes me out of a problem solving stress induced state, because I can't be focused on trying to solve problems and. Mental issues or mental health or depression or anxiety when I'm in my body, when we're in our body, we're really just in our body. So it really gives us a mental break from the stress. And if you think about anything that you're doing really hard, if you're pushing hard at something, if you're running, if you're writing, if you're anything that you're doing, what we know is that our body hits a place of burnout and fatigue, and we need a break. And so I think remembering that one of the biggest pieces of this is it giving us a mental break and giving us [00:16:00] a more of a time to check in with our body and out of our brain. They're really does help with that. Um, so giving us a, a break and taking time off of mental focus. Uh, and then that helps to reduce those feelings of stress.
Penney: What we also know is it increases resiliency. And teaches our body, how to come back and bounce back and be in a safe space that things can get hard. But if we give ourselves a break, we can bounce back and recover from that.
Janae: Yeah, I definitely see that in. Myself. Oh, being able to see that resiliency and then also. The. Wonder that is that mental break. Um, which is another thing of why I love. Teaching. And even when I take the classes like. There's only so much that your brain can be focusing on at one time. And so when you get really into the class or when I'm teaching, when I'm having to think about, okay, what's the [00:17:00] next two or three movements that we're going to be doing? I'm fully in the moment.
Janae: Like I am.
Janae: Checking in with my own body of being able to say, this is where I'm feeling the stretch here. Maybe that's where the students are feeling it. What is the next integrated step of movement that's going to either continue warming up that part of the body or are we going to now stretch that part out? And so it's a constant checking it with my own body when I'm teaching. Because I'm, I've moved away from following just a set plan.
Janae: And instead, I'm just listening to my own body and offering options around what I think. Other bodies might enjoy doing off of the feedback that I'm getting from myself. Yeah. And so there does require a lot of mindfulness and in a deep sense of checking in with yourself, And yeah, I can't focus on. All of the other to-do lists that might be on my mind.
Penney: Exactly. So that gives us that mental break, which really takes [00:18:00] us out of that. That place. And then when we come back, we're better able to problem solve and resolve issues instead of letting them ruminate. Um, another thing exercise does is it increases our physical resiliency. So our physical ability to bounce back and be stronger, which also in turn creates a mental, uh, resiliency. So then we're better able to bounce back from stressful situations or difficult situations.
Penney: Um,
Janae: And talk to anyone who has gone through. Um, medical issue or chronic health issues in. The just the internal knowledge that your body isn't as strong as you thought or. Breaks down lower failed. Sometimes it's deeply scary. It's frightening. And it does do something to you mentally. If you've never gone to that, I would assume most people have.
Janae: Yeah. Um, but just. Recognizing your own weakness is terrifying. And so, yeah, anytime I think you can. Ad or [00:19:00] rebuild that body trust with yourself, um, rebuilding that resiliency that you're talking about.
Penney: It's the same thing, right? We go through something and we. We are perceive ourself as weak or that our body can't meet that the opposite is true.
Penney: Every time we do meet that and we meet a physical challenge and our body overcomes that. There's amazing mental strength that comes with that too.
Janae: Yeah.
Penney: So next question. When do you feel like exercise or movement in your body? Hasn't been helpful.
Janae: I think that the times when it has not felt helpful is when. It's a very external motivation of pushing me to do it. And sometimes it's also.
Janae: Um, It hasn't felt helpful when I realized I'm doing it to prove something to someone else or. Um,
Janae: Show off, I guess, in some ways like, [00:20:00] Towards the earlier part of learning yoga. Because I was coming from a dance background, it was like looking around the room and seeing is my leg as high as the teacher's leg is. Am I keeping up with everyone else around me? And it took a really long time for that to slowly shift towards just allowing it to be a focus on myself. And I think un training my brain from trying to. Be the best or, um, make the teacher happy or proud of me. So silly, and I've gotten better about doing that in yoga classes, but a year, I guess now close to two years ago, now that we've, when you switched over to 20, 24, I did, um, a weight lifting program. And I noticed the same things coming up because I was not as practiced with it in a different realm of exercise and fitness.
Janae: So I started doing similar things of like, Going past. What I felt my body [00:21:00] should be doing to try and keep up with other people or impress the teacher and not checking in with myself and then pushing myself harder than it should. And I got. A little bit of an irritated muscle towards the beginning of the program, but because it was an. You know, a short program. I kept going and inflamed to an injury that then took.
Janae: Probably six to eight months to fully heal. And that is something that. When I think about it, I'm like, oh, okay. That was an interesting choice I made. And it's funny because I know I have the tools to be able to advocate for what my body needs and tap in and listen to my body and have mindfulness around it. Let go of others' expectations and just tune into what I want.
Janae: I know I have those skills and I have those skills in certain atmospheres in locations and class types. And something that I've become more and more [00:22:00] passionate about is being able to teach this to people and encourage them to exercise those same skills in other areas. Yeah. Because. Yeah, I noticed that I completely lost or shut down. Cut out those skills when he changed. What I was doing exercise wise.
Janae: So. I think that's the. The example that comes to mind. When I think about when it hasn't felt helpful is. It wasn't anything that the class was doing. A new teacher was doing. It was my own.
Janae: Um,
Janae: Yeah, my own stuff around it, like it just triggered things and I let go of the, the skills that I know I should have been relying on. So. I guess the best way of summing that up is like allowing external expectations and things to push. Me out of what I. know from my own body.
Penney: Yeah. So it's like when exercise starts to become about her [00:23:00] movement starts to become about other people and not about you. That that's when it's unhelpful for you. Yeah.
Penney: I would say for me, trying to think about this one, I've really been trying to contemplate this question.
Penney: Um, because I have a mixed journey with this. I did CrossFit for. Three years. I think it was three years. And loved it. I know there's mixed feelings about CrossFit, but the mental resiliency and physical resiliency that I found in my body, every time I thought it couldn't do something and it did. I loved. And I really loved the, to be able to celebrate my strength.
Penney: I am built like a Viking warrior. I am not a dainty girl. Right. I can lift and throw and I've always been able to be extremely strong in my body. That is something. that I think when that fails me, I will feel really surprised. Cause I don't necessarily have to put a lot of work into it. If it needs to be lifted, removed, I have a body that has always answered to that and held onto muscle. And so I feel like that [00:24:00] form of exercise really answered to that for me.
Penney: And I really, really loved it. And like I said, every time I thought, oh, I can't do this box jump. Or I can't at the beginning do 25 pushups or I can't create, you know, finish them the Murph, um, challenge. That I did. And I completed those and I rose to the challenge and I really loved feeling that strengthened excitement in my body. As part of that.
Penney: And I increased to going from once a day to twice a day, to adding more, more pieces to that. I started to feel a lot of shame around the community. At first, I felt like the community was really supportive at the gym that I was at. And then that really shifted and changed to more your. Oh, I don't want to S I mean, the beautiful people, right?
Penney: The ones that had money or looked differently than I did that could go to competitions and look like they belong to there. And I didn't fit that. And I started to feel a lot of shame in my body that I started to be [00:25:00] taken out of classes or moved around because that is who I was. And I started to feel a lot of shame around, even though I was exercising serious, hardcore exercise, two hours a day. And showing up to classes and, and doing what I could, a competition that I still was never going to be what it took to be that person. And to be in that way. And that started to create a lot of shame in my body.
Penney: So it started to go from something that really created strength and beauty for me. And resilience to something that created more shame. Around how I still wasn't enough. And so I would say that would be a time when that was really unhelpful for me is when it created shame instead of resilience.
Janae: Yeah, I think that thats really. A common story of like, It starts out and you're like, it feels great and it feels very welcoming. And then. You know, there's a breakdown within the community or. [00:26:00] People change after you have been there for a while. And I mean, true colors started coming out or just the politics within some communities to shift and. I think also. For a lot of people, there is this expectation that. We're going to welcome in the beginners.
Janae: And then after they'd been there for a while, there's an expectation of, well, you should be at this level now or. You should have lost as much weight and if your body isn't responding that way, and then it's like, well, maybe you're not trying hard enough or what's wrong with you, or that makes the gym look bad. Because they're selling the snake oil of if you're coming this much or this amount of times, and you're doing it, you quote unquote, should. Being a certain size.
Penney: I think the same way as well. The gym wanted to train elite athletes and I was never going to be an elite athlete.
Penney: Right. So. Um, I think coming to acceptance around that and choosing to leave that community was hard. [00:27:00] Uh, because I did love the strength that did in my body. I also left with an injury that took a long time for my injury to heal after I had pushed through that. And. So, yeah, it was hard for me to come back into a place of moving in my body. After that, and the shame around that. So, yeah, I would say shame can definitely come up around movement and finding ways to rebuild the community and rebuild what works for us and finding ways to be strong in our body.
Penney: It can be a challenge. So if you've gone through that, Um, in either of the way that Janae and I have described, or other ways really encourage you with love and compassion and kindness, to find other ways to create movement in a community. Um, for your body. And find ways to heal around that.
Janae: Yeah. And I think a lot of traditional exercise spaces rewards. You from numbing out of what's going on in your body and quote, unquote, push through. Fight through the [00:28:00] burn. Um, what'd you can push people to injury. And I think that. When we can step into exercise spaces that don't encourage those kinds of things. And allows you to continually be checking in with your body and saying, you know, does this feel like something that I can. Mentally or physically keep moving through or is this my body telling me to stop? And not being in communities that supporting you to. Push past the limit that you know, you should have with your body. It's so interesting because there is that overlap of exercise and like, Athleticism. Um, and I remember in high school and I'm sure people who did sports in college and things like that, that it becomes like a competition of who is pushing the hardest who's sacrificing the most.
Janae: And. It's like. Okay. But is that really, what's the most helpful for our bodies?
Penney: [00:29:00] Yeah. I also think for me, there has to be some level of push that I do need that encouragement and that push. Um, so I think it's finding the balance that works, right?
Janae: Yeah, exactly. It's like, Like I said, it's your own?
Janae: It's an internal check-in. And motivation of, do I feel safe to keep doing this with my body? And as long as it's you that saying yes, I want to keep going and not an external thing of. I have to
Penney: shame to be enough.
Penney: for value and hustling for worth that's when. That's Bernie brown says when we start hustling for our worth. It's time to recheck in.
Janae: Yeah. So I would say. For anyone that's going out there and starting new fitness journeys or stepping into new spaces. Check in and say, is this encouraging me to hustle for my worth? And is this. Is it, the culture that's doing that, or like, [00:30:00] with me, there was just a bit of internal. Um,
Janae: Past beliefs that caused me to start doing that.
Janae: Wasn't anything that was happening at that gym. And so, yeah, checking in and being able to say. Am I doing that? Why am I doing that? How can I stop doing that? You know, Have a little bit of reflection.
Janae: All right.
Janae: So hopping into tips now just like usual. these are just some tips to help you.
Janae: Maybe find movement. For de-stressing or. maybe make tweaks to plans that you've already made for the new year.
Janae: so the first one is to start small.
Penney: Yep. Let's start small. You don't have to do it all at once. Even if it's five minutes a day, the recommendation is that you do 150 minutes a week. But just remember, you don't have to do that. And even if you do five minutes a day and start with 30 minutes, or you do five minutes, six times a day and you get up to 30 minutes, I think it's just, the idea is just to move. Um, [00:31:00] knowing if you're talking polyvagal and trying to move up the ladder. Movement for 20 minutes would be good, but I think you can build up over time or do whatever you can, but start small.
Penney: Don't make it big.
Janae: Yeah. It's kind of goes to what we were talking about earlier of. Taking out as many barriers as you can. And. Starting where you're at. I think when we put a lot of expectation on what it's supposed to look like. we can get stuck. I also think to that. Small also applies to what you're doing and not necessarily only the amount of time that you're doing it.
Janae: So. If you want to. Lift weights or run or do yoga or anything like that. Like there's a smaller. Based down version of that, of all of those things. Or it's like, we'll go for a walk. or. Do five minutes of stretching or, you know, find a really beginner friendly way of taking on whatever [00:32:00] movement that you want to. you don't need to run a marathon to run and you don't need to. Swim for an hour to become like a swimmer, like whatever movement brings you, joy. And also doesn't have to be structured. I think that. You can let go of traditional movements things and just. Find unique ways to move your body that you like to do.
Penney: The next tip is to not make it a production to not get stuck in the right way or the wrong way, but just to move your body, we're talking about movement for mental health movement for. just for having the break right.
Penney: To have moving in your body. So if you're doing that, it doesn't have to be, I have to have the right pants and the right top and the right shoes and. Pay for the program or have the trainer, or if you want those things that's okay. But if they could become barriers remove them, all you have to have is music and kick off your shoes and move your body or [00:33:00] walk outside.
Penney: And. And walk a lap around the building, and there's a lot of really simple ways to do that. That can create movement. So. Move remove the barriers. It doesn't have to be a production
just
Penney: needs to move your body.
Janae: Yeah, I like that. I think that we create these really weird rules for ourselves, and then it becomes impossible to follow them. We fail.
Penney: Yes.
Penney: Exactly. So remove those. So it's feeling like a barrier. Take it out. It doesn't have to be there. All we're doing is talking about moving your body. For 5, 10, 15 minutes a day. That's it. move your body,
Janae: and that can be any time. I think a lot of these end up being like wake up at 5:00 AM and do your thing. It's like, you can do this whenever. Whatever works for you.
Janae: Like. Yeah. Let go of any weird external expectations or pressure that you might feel like you have on doing it the right way. Yes, absolutely. Cool. And then the third one find something that you love to do. Yep. Yeah. I love
Penney: that I have always [00:34:00] wanted to be a runner. I have spent many different moments of planning programs to become a runner. And I'm just not a runner.
Penney: It's not something I love. It's not something I'm ever going to love. Um, I love the idea of it. I don't love doing it. Yeah. And so I would say, find some being that feels good for your body. Something that excites you, that brings you joy. And then you're not just moving for mental health, but you're adding that. Extra mental health benefit of adding joy to your world and why not? And there's enough drudgery is in the world.
Penney: If we can bring joy around movement, let's do that. Yeah,
Janae: I so agree. Yeah, I think something that can be helpful if you are coming at this from a perspective of. A lot of movement. Just inherently is doused in shame, and you have a lot of past scars around exercise and stuff. I think that. Thinking back to when you were a child. Or younger things that you just inherently liked to [00:35:00] do, trying to tap back into those things. Um, And again, it doesn't have to be structured or done in a specific way. It's just anything that wiggles your little meat sack around.
Penney: Yeah. Absolutely. Skin. That's what we, and our women's retreat. That's what we talked about. Our sexy skin sacks. Or a skin suit since was. It's considered a success. I think it was. Yeah. Yeah. Like for me, I love making mud pies and playing in the sandbox. So gardening for me, which is not friendly around where we live, but being outside and just moving around that type of love that that will always feed my soul.
Janae: Uh, and for me, it's like swimming things and then any kind of. Movement around music like dancing or dance for me too. Things like that. I also think singing can become. Practice.
Janae: If you're doing it in a certain way, like dancing around and singing and. Yeah, I think those two kind of come [00:36:00] together a lot for me too. And those are all things that I really enjoyed doing as a child in bringing me a lot of joy still as an adult. So
Penney: just building on that. And the last tip is find ways to keep track of small wins.
Penney: Don't focus on failures, but focus on what you did today and in this moment and the successes and the wins. And realizing that those patterns build up over
Janae: time. Yeah, I think that.
Janae: When we were talking last. Episode about, you know, usually new year's resolutions kind of, kind of fall off around March. There's nothing wrong with that. If it falls off around March, that means you've done it for three months and that is something you can celebrate. And finding little moments along the way to celebrate like, Oh, I did the same or I started something.
Janae: Um, I also hate that so much as it so much of. The new year's stuff is around like doing things perfectly consistently. Every [00:37:00] single day. Where that's just not realistic. Like every single day of our lives are so different. Yeah. Do what you can, when you can do it inhaling again. I think that's another one of those stupid rules that you can kind of let go of, but celebrating, like I did this three times this week, or I did it once this week or, you know, whatever that looks like finding little moments to celebrate
Penney: and really what we're focusing on is change.
Penney: Right? We're not focusing on perfection. We're focusing on change progress, not perfection. So if you started at zero days a week and you end the year that you made it. Uh, five days of the month. Great, nice job. That's changed. How do you want to keep that change going to, I think it's just about moving forward and noticing change over time.
Janae: Yeah. Yeah. And this isn't one that's in our tips, but it is something that we talked about towards the beginning of the episode that I'd like to add. It's just finding a way of creating community. Whether you're talking to [00:38:00] people around you. Or online about the activity that you're wanting to join. Or you're going and joining an actual group that does these things. And maybe you're looping in a buddy to do it with, I think is all very helpful. I know for me, um, Going outside and walking.
Janae: Doesn't get done unless I'm on the phone with my friend who moved away and. That's how we stay in contact now, but it's also something that we do. Just to get outside and move our bodies every day. So it doesn't happen if I'm not on the phone with her. So. Um, these important community is important. Finding people around to support you and to do things with this is helpful.
Janae: All right. It takes two. How can you support healthy changes with those in your life?
Penney: Um, I think being a community ran from what you just said. So asking about it, following up. Um, [00:39:00] building a community, if you need that. I think those are good ways to support healthy change. Also taking the shame out of it and they miss a day. Or you miss a day not to do that.
Penney: Oh, I thought you were going to do this resolution. Oh, it fell off again. Right? Instead of focusing on failures and negatives and shame. Give the encouragement and supportiveness around that.
Janae: Yeah, that's what I was going to say for this is be the friend. Be the friend for yourself, be the friend for the person that you're supporting. Um, I think that anything that you can do to bring in self-compassion and combat against the self-criticism that often happens around goals and change. Um, is great.
Janae: So. And loving yourself to talk to yourself and others with compassion. I also think that something that I've done. With my partner is. Um, Be someone that he can nerd out with around his [00:40:00] unique interests. Like. If you want to talk to me, moment to moment of your two hour long bike ride or talk to me through. Like different parts that he's buying for his bikes and things like that.
Janae: Like,
Janae: Talking. To someone about your, the thing that you're really excited about, I think can be a helpful support.
Penney: Absolutely. Just to know you're not alone in it. And, um, When other people can be excited with you.
Janae: Yeah. You know, showing interest in those things, like asking questions and following up and yeah.
Janae: All right. You ready to spin the wheel? Yep.
Janae: Reached out and grab it. Take your spin.
Penney: Seven odd. So how do you recognize when stress has taken over and you need to find interventions? Uh, it starts to feel like a hunchback. I pull my shoulders up to my ears. It starts to really pull [00:41:00] forward. Uh, those are big messages from my body. I asked him to get sick more. And training. I really pull into myself and find less ability to give to my family and the people that I care about I really pull inward.
Penney: So those are my, my big warnings that I maybe need to take for a walk around the block. Maybe do a couple of stair laps at work. Um, make sure I'm making it to my yoga sessions and do those for myself. Hmm.
Janae: Nice. All right.
Janae: Oh, gosh, well, I, well, we can count that. Is it for. Okay. Trying to do it in my lap. Um, so we have, what ways are you learning to change? Self-talk around movement practices, diet, culture, and body neutrality. I think for me, Uh, just going back to what I was saying earlier around using more self-compassionate voice and letting go of self criticism. In really. Letting go of the weird, rigid rules that I have in my [00:42:00] head of, oh, well, you didn't do that.
Janae: So. Why keep going or are you even trying. Um, And instead just being like, Hmm. That's interesting. Makes sense that I miss that or, yeah, I could see why that happened. Doesn't mean anything on a giant grand scheme of things. None of this really means anything. Yeah. Absolutely. It doesn't impact how good of a person I am, or, you know, my worth in any way.
Janae: And so allowing that detachment in the way I'm talking to myself about these things is helpful. I think that is, especially at the beginning of the year, it can feel like these are really big goals and big life changing things. And you think you're going to magically wake up one day and be a completely new person because you've implemented all of these things.
Janae: And I think something that's been helping me is telling myself. If I'm the same, if I'm the exact same human. At the end of 20, 24 as I am right now. That's great. Yep. We'll go to humans. [00:43:00] So I think that that has kind of helped a little bit of the pressure off of things. So that's what I've done to change the self-talk around those kinds of stuff.
Janae: So. rapid fire?. Uh, what's
Penney: one. Joyful way you have moved your body in the last week.
Janae: Well, I went 't cross country skiing, which is always an up and down thing for me. It's really funny because I think in the first or second episode we ever. I recorded. And I was talking about my struggles with that. Um, when I'm out there, I love it.
Janae: Getting there. I can, I can become really stressed and anxious about it. Um, something that I did for myself to make it more joyful this time though, was allowing myself to unclip from my skis and walk. Anytime I didn't feel safe or comfortable. And the people that I was with struggle with that a little bit, they thought there were wanting to encourage me to do the downhill sections or, you know, practice. [00:44:00] Certain levels of difficulty that I just didn't want to.
Janae: And I think that setting those boundaries for myself, created more joy of feeling safe and not pressured to do it perfectly. Like I still got out there. I was still skiing and I had a great time. I was focusing more on watching the snow falling and looking around at all the tracks of different animals around us and just enjoying the peace of being outside. In the remote. Mountains and. Letting go of needing to ski preface perfectly.
Janae: That was really helpful.
Penney: So it makes sense. Given what you said about when you start to try and perform to other people's expectations, it takes the joy out of it for you. Yeah.
Janae: And I made it really funny, like everyone would ski down and then I would unclip, unclip, put my skis on under my armpits in jog, jog, jog, jog, jog.
Janae: All right, let's keep going. Like, it's not a big deal and I don't want [00:45:00] to force myself because then I think that just creates more fear of falling and not doing it. Right. And then I don't want to ski anymore. Yeah. So. Yeah, I just made it more of a game, which was helpful. Go ahead. How about for you?
Penney: Um, oh, I had lots of projects to get done this weekend.
Penney: Lots of sewing projects. And so I was in my shop, turned the music up loud and just danced my little heart out in between things and jigged and dragged around. Um, definitely my partner as he was walking through would laugh and do some pelvis thrusts and, and jig his little way through. And we laughed really hard.
Penney: So I think any time you can incorporate fun and laughter and dance that's, uh, that's awesome for me. So it was probably my favorite part of moving my body.
Janae: Yeah. And like I said, at the beginning, like there's just a playfulness. Yeah. It's just nice to be able to tap into that. Yeah. Finding the joy. Love that. Cool.
Janae: Well, we wish you the best of luck in incorporating some of these tips and thinking [00:46:00] about ways that you can reduce your stress in the new year through movement and not allowing movement or exercise to become another thing. That's adding stress to your life. Another barrier. Yeah. Um, and so we wish you the best of luck and we'll catch you in our next episode. Absolutely. Yeah.
