Life Permission Slips
A step on the journey to wholehearted, vulnerable, and courageous change.
Brené Brown in her book, Dare to Lead, introduces the concept of permission slips for working with teams in business settings. These permission slips state ways we are going to show up, be vulnerable, wholehearted, and open with a team. Permissions can be statements about giving space, not needing to be perfect, setting boundaries to allow for work and life balance, or permission to speak up for yourself. I was contemplating what this would look like if we applied permission slips to our daily life and interpersonal interactions. This week I am going to share my process for using permission slips to create changes in life and work towards living a braver and more daring life.
1. Thoughtfully choose and write out your permission slip
Take time to contemplate where you experience fear in your life. Fear is often a byproduct of shame because we fear not being enough to be successful, seen, heard, or valued. Ask yourself, ‘what would it look like to not have this fear? What would be different or better?’ then give yourself permission to let go of that fear or do the thing you are holding back from because of fear. Write this on a note card or sticky note
2. Have fun
Take time to plan out a way to enjoy this change in your life. Change is generally a difficult and painful process so finding a way to make this a fun experience increases the chance of success.
3. Find a way to share your permission slip with someone else or place it somewhere you will see it
Keeping things front and center and/or having an accountability buddy also increases our chance of being successful. Maybe take a picture and put it on your phone as a screensaver, just give it pride of place somehow.
4. Prepare for the storm
Change is difficult and whenever we seek opportunities for change it seems the world brings them to us. So, get ready to practice stepping into your vulnerability and prepare for making change in the way you show up in courage.
5. Create a list of thought challenges
Our brains seek to protect us and will put up a good defense about why you should not follow through on your permissions. You will need to have a list of challenges ready for your brain to convince it change is good, you are safe, and you want to progress in this area of your life.
One of the permission slips I am giving myself is to allow for weakness. I generally go through life with a smile and a strong plate of armor while caring for those around me. I created a story for myself which included the belief if I was weak or fell apart those around me would feel fear and uncertainty. I am going to seek opportunities to not be the strong one, the leader, the planner, and the one to take care of things. I am going to give myself permission to show weakness and others a chance to show strength. So far, I have worked through each of the above steps, and believe me the storm is raging and the brain is protecting. Wish me luck and good luck on your own journey to wholehearted, vulnerable, and courageous change.