New Year Resolutions
New Year Resolution Origins
-Tina Crain
The origins of New Year resolutions are unknown. It dates back to over 4,000 years ago but it is possible that it is older. Most older religions valued and had ceremonies around making promises or oaths to their gods. Most of the time these oaths were to help have a fruitful crop. It did not always fall on January first though. It sometimes would be around certain holidays, or when it was time to plant crops in hopes that the gods would bless them and their crops. When Julis Caesar changed the calendar, it was moved into January. Where in the 1577 Pope Gregory XIII changed the calendar again to what we know it as now since the calendar was out of sync with the solar year by about 10 days. With this change January 1st became known as New Years. Over time as priorities in life changed, New Year’s resolutions have changed, it is unsure when. New year’s resolutions are now more secular and are about self-improvement.
Designing your environment for success
-Tori Wanner
If you have chosen to create new year's resolutions, goals, intentions, habits, or whatever you like to call it, I would invite you to consider how much your environment, surroundings or conditions in which a person, animal, or plant lives or operates affects the success or failure of that new goal. Let’s say your goal is to start going to the gym. The night before, you set your alarm for 5:30 and hit the hay. Before you know it, that alarm is going off. You roll out of bed and start getting dressed. You spend 10 Minutes looking for that specific outfit you had in mind. You grab a snack, put on your shoes but before you can head out the door you realize you don't have your earbuds. You WILL NOT workout without earbuds. It's non-negotiable. You spend another 10 minutes frantically looking for them with no luck. Now you're 30 minutes late and it feels pointless to go at all so you sit on the couch and scroll through Facebook till you absolutely have to start getting ready for work or you will be late for that too.
If you would have set your clothes, earbuds, and water bottle out the night before when you were wide awake and motivated it would have been much easier to get out the door and head to the gym. I know the gym example is cliché, but it's a habit I incorporated into my life in June of last year and I can honestly say the biggest factor in my success has been how prepared I get the night before. Getting out the door is the hardest part for me. Once I accomplish that, the rest is relatively easy. I encourage you to look back on a goal you set but didn't accomplish. Was there something in your environment that inhibited you? What could you have changed to set yourself up for success? Write it down. Then write down one of your new goals and list how you can set up your environment to best help you achieve that goal. Remember, it's today's choices that determine tomorrow's results.
How to Change a Mountain
-Penney Rockhill
Making changes is a highly difficult, conflicted and at times counter intuitive. We fear change, seek out change and can find change exhausting and invigorating at the same time. This does not mean change is impossible but needs some finesse. I am going to cover a couple of steps which can make change simpler based on the Solution Focused Therapy and Possibility Therapy which I find to be helpful.
1- Imagine if you had a magic wand what would the outcome be when this goal is completed, not something big like I am going to lose weight or I am going to have savings. Think along the lines of I am going to change my eating habits, I am going to save money. This keeps us feeling we have control and realize there are small and simple steps towards change not a huge mountain to climb.
2- Think of others who do not have this problem and analyze what they do different, how do they approach the issue, what habits do they employ. This is where blogs, internet searches or joining groups can be helpful. Others have done this we do not need to reinvent the wheel.
3- Break problem habits by identifying one tiny piece or a step which we can do to start change. Example 1: in the event you want to start a workout routine start small start by just setting the alarm and making the mental shift. Even if you do not work out at least set an alarm. Then move to the next step of getting dressed for the workout, again you do not need to complete it but just move to the next step. Then move to the next step of starting the workout routine.
Example 2: Changes in making connection, start by doing research, move to setting a time, move to leaving the house and then make the connection.
Breaking things down into very small manageable pieces.
4- Support is important, who can we bring on board to be a cheerleader and provide accountability. Bounce ideas off this person to fulfill step 1, keep it small and change 1 small thing at a time.
5- Identify your focus and keep it focused on the positive change. Again, not making this too big just focus on the small pieces of the change. We move in the direction of our focus, think about when we walk or drive. If we look in that direction, we then move that way. So where is our focus? In the event we are focused on the end goal fully we will feel weighed down by the slow progress, so set small steps and focus on progressing towards those. Talk about those small things, not what we have yet to accomplish or are unable to accomplish but what small pieces we are rocking already.
6- Use action talk, don’t say, ‘when I do this’ or ‘if I do this’ but ‘I am doing this’, ‘I am being successful’ ‘I am changing”. Keep things in the present tense and keep it focus on what small simple step you are doing right now.
7- Keep self-compassion at the forefront. Keep moving forward and realize small change brings about big changes. You have a lifetime to make things happen and just like a river washing away a mountain happens 1 grain of sand at a time so do lifelong changes happen for us, one small and simple step at a time.
Take Time to Reflect, Ask Questions and Have Compassion
-Janae Kara
The beginning of a new year can bring on a tricky combination of feelings. The mounting pressure, expectations and goal setting piles up on top of post holiday exhaustion for many of us and can feel like hopping back on the hamster wheel. Social media becomes a minefield of ‘new year new you’ mantras and diet culture is out in full force. This year I am choosing a different approach to goals and resolutions and here is why.
Last year I remember being asked what my new year resolutions were and came up blank. I remember feeling like adding one more thing on my to-do list would break me and send me over the edge. I felt like most of my goals were far fetched, pie in the sky, unrealistic dreams. So I decided to do something very small and undefined. My goal was just “read more” and that was it. I did not set a goal of how many books I wanted to read, how many pages, what genres or any of the like. This gave me the freedom to attack this goal from any angle I wanted.
I decided in February to reassess my goals and realized I wanted to cut down on my screen time. I jokingly announced to friends that I was breaking up with my phone on Valentine's day. I noticed combining these goals was helpful as I could now have a replacement for the bad habit I was trying to break with a new habit I was trying to create. The new frame of mind became “if you want to be on your phone you can be reading on your phone”. I had only planned on holding this goal for a month however, I continued to cut down on my screen time throughout the whole year. Once July hit a friend of mine mentioned her routine of walking with her dog every morning after I had mentioned struggling getting up and going in the mornings. We started walking together and have continued to do so, although since winter has set in we meet up in the afternoons instead. As I reflect on the new habits and goals I reached this last year I was keen to understand how and why these goals seemed to stick. Here is what I think.
My reading goal was a very simple and straightforward task. I didn’t want to feel pressured to achieve a high change or turn around in my reading habits. I set a 20 book goal and decided to not put limitations on having audiobooks not count towards that goal. The end of the year brought me to a total of 45 books read. Lesson learned- keep goals small and flexible
Cutting down on screen time was a hard habit for me to stay accountable with this last year. But having something to replace the habit with was very helpful. When I found myself reaching mindlessly for my phone I would see my library app front and center with the social media apps either buried or deleted from my phone entirely. Lesson learned- have a good habit aligned to replace an old bad habit.
And finally getting up early has never been a strength of mine. I really hate mornings and love to sleep in. Joining up with my friend gave me the accountability I needed to make this goal happen. I felt so tired and disconnected from the world when all I did was wake up, go to work, come home and repeat. I found waking up earlier gave me more time to do other things outside of work and chores. I also have a deeper connection with the changing of the seasons which I really loved. I knew my friend was waiting for me and counting on me to come with her every morning so I had to get up. Lesson learned- get an accountability buddy when you can.
So here we are at the start of a new year and there are lots of ideas floating around in my head for goals and resolutions. However, I am going to continue taking things slowly. One goal at a time. I don’t want to overwhelm myself with too many ideas, plans, and goals. Here are some things I am holding to keep myself in check with goal setting this year.
-Ask questions: I love asking why I want to reach a certain goal. If you are doing something out of peer pressure and you don’t have a genuine connection to the goal you will most likely struggle with it. So ask yourself why you want to do something? Dig deep and write it down if you want to. Buck the status quo and create authentic goals for yourself.
- Don’t get stuck in the mindset of now or never. The new year is a great time to dedicate towards reflection and intention setting but it is not the only time you have to make plans and changes. There are no set days or times to when you should or should not start a goal so stay flexible and set goals in your own timeframe.
-Start small. The biggest indicator of having a habit fail is starting too big and having really high expectations. What is the smallest thing you can do to take a step towards your goal and start there. This can be compared to exercise. You wouldn’t start with a full marathon or bench pressing 300 pounds as a beginner. You would slowly work up to those goals with very small steps and milestones.
- Be kind to yourself. Understanding each year, month, and day is different. There will be different struggles and barriers popping up which may alter your capacity to reach your goals. That is okay and perfectly normal. Years past I have had to readjust my goals because of physical illness, moving houses, and other outside factors out of my control. Give yourself lots of kindness and flexibility when looking at past and present goal outcomes. Being mean and beating yourself up does not create positive change.
-Listen to your body and adjust accordingly. I know I talk about this a lot but I want to draw on the importance of the deep knowledge our bodies have for what we need. Taking the time to dive deep and listen to what you really need might give you a different perspective outside of what external expectations you may have influencing your vision. You can also write out some reminders of what you felt like last year to use for future planning. For example I am making sure to note ‘no big plans or projects for November or December’ because I know from this past year it was really hard to complete big projects during this time. If there are any notes you would like to write to yourself after this reflection go for it. Use your knowledge from now to plan accordingly and make changes for the future.
One last important step is to find time along the way for self care and compassion. You do not always need to be striving, changing, or working towards the next thing. There is a great wisdom and ease found from contentment. This is something I try to use in my yoga practice often. Try and allow yourself to be content with how things are right now, not needing to change or alter yourself in any way. Just allow yourself to be as you are and know that is always enough. Because it is.
