Ep 15. Discoveries From Our Time in the Mountains
This episode is a debrief from our women's retreat between Penney, Janae, and our guest Tina. We talk about the big takeaways we gained from the retreat and give tips on how to keep the momentum going after you have gone through a phase of transformation and change.
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Ep 15. Discoveries From Our Time in the Mountains
[00:00:00]
Janae: Welcome to untangling relationships, a conversation between a counselor and a yoga teacher, a gen X-er and a millennial and a mother and daughter join us as we explore the ins and outs of relationships with your host Janine in
Penney: penny. Hey, and welcome, and a special welcome to one of our guests today. as promised during the last episode, we're doing a recap of our women's retreat. And we have invited Tina, who is the owner of Hilltop wellness to join us. As part of that recap on the retreat.
Tina: Hi, and thanks for inviting me on I'm super excited to go over the weekend and how the retreat went.
Janae: Yeah. Can we get started? Yeah, absolutely.
All right. So our first question is what was your biggest takeaway from the retreat?
Do you want all original. Silence falls across the land. Right. I think biggest takeaway for me. Um, it was interesting [00:01:00] in a lot of the things we did from when we got up there to on our way back, the number three came up and we were talking about that last night. what the power of three was. And I didn't know. And my son-in-law said, well, three is your strongest number in math. And, so I think that goes into that biggest takeaway. Is the power and the strength that we have as a team, especially the three of us when there are things that have to be done and how we can pull together and make that happen. And, we have Tori she's our fourth, but wasn't there for the full retreat. And so I think the power and the strength and the three of us. And, we had three people per tent. Mostly we had one with the two person tent, but just watching the power of that dynamic and the power of three. So I think power in women. Power and teams is probably my biggest takeaway from the retreat.
Yeah. I would say mine was just the. That was really looking forward to going out. And then just enjoying being outside for [00:02:00] that many days, consecutively, it's been a busy summer for me and my partner and we haven't been able to go out. And be out camping as much as we usually do during the summer. So that was my biggest takeaway of like, okay, I needed this and a good reminder too. Keep that. As a priority.
Penney: Yeah, the importance of outside. Definitely.
Tina: I think I have two big takeaways. one was, I liked seeing how I did the different curriculum. And the, we did like definitely more art-based. Curriculum and seeing how that played into it. And I really enjoyed that. And then for me, one of our participants was, my grandma and her best friend, and they actually came up early and helped me set up. And so getting to build a deeper relationship with my grandma and then her best friend that they've been best friends since they were. Eight. Yeah. Eight. and so getting to know her more and that, duo and seeing how [00:03:00] they worked together, it was a super fun experience for me to get to be a part of that and see. them as strong women.
Penney: Yeah. The beauty of a friendship that's lasted 62 years. Yeah. it's amazing times and changes in children and life.
Janae: Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. It really. last episode.
Penney: friendships and adults. Yeah, it definitely watching that friendship just to digress a little as a child, that we would spend time with them. But you know, my mom would always hope to see her once a year. And they would write letters when phone calls were expensive, long distance, because we didn't ever live close by them. Maybe for a brief time for about a year and a half, two years, but there was always a few hours distance that created some challenges. So I do think that was. it's really awesome. and beautiful to see their friendship after 62 years. Yeah.
Tina: That's really cool. And it was really cool as a granddaughter to get to experience that and also start to build my own relationship with, her [00:04:00] friend and which was really
Janae: cool. So. Yeah. I liked seeing the wide. Span, ages that we had, I feel like that always adds. Really good insight and perspective where you have people talking about being like new moms. And while they were up there and then, you know, you're a more established parent. And then from the grandparents' perspective, It was just really interesting. A lot of the conversations of being able to see those little slices of life from a lot of different age perspectives. Yeah,
Penney: that we typically get early twenties into. I think we've, haven't everyone that we've had. Somebody's 60 seventies and even 80, right. That we've had some experiences with, which is really fun. To have those dynamics.
Janae: Yeah, I think it's really. Beneficial every time we do have. Yeah. It's white. As wide of an age gap as we.
Tina: Okay. I'm [00:05:00] getting all those different perspectives, I think is really cool. And beneficial for those at different stages of life, to be able to say. oh yeah. Like I can see, you know, 10 years down the line, how that would be different versus now. And just bring some perspective into
Penney: the group. Yeah, one thing we did different this year. That was really awesome. And if you're thinking about doing a retreat, Maybe something to think about. Is always trying to plan curriculum or make a plan around what is it that people want to get. And I really looked up. and spend some time researching. What do people want to get at for retreat? It really was just discovered something new about themselves that they could take back with them. So time to unplug creating relationships. And discovering something new about themselves. And when you're, you know, trying to plan around 20 to 80, right. That age gap of what are you going to discover different about yourself? that's a fun challenge and also just really fun to see what that looks like. So if you're thinking about going on retreat maybe just really thinking about what is it that I am. [00:06:00] I want to step into her discover, change about myself or insights into things that I would like to have be different.
All right. Our next question. Is what was your biggest challenge on the retreat?
Janae: The rain.
I found the range. We. Yeah, that was fun, but it was a challenge. Yeah. I love rain. so I did love the beauty of that. And in the moment when I first woke up and felt overwhelmed by it, and Janine made a comment about look up and see how beautiful that is and seeing the mist rising and. The beauty of that. I think maybe a challenge for me is always.
Penney: You know, comfort, uh, participants while also trying to keep all of the wheels moving. And there's always a lot of second guessing and questioning us as a team. but, I think fewer challenges on this retreat and it was really a beautiful experience and, always helpful to people do discover what they. You know, if you come [00:07:00] up there thinking I want to get this from it. Hoping that those are met and meeting that
Tina: challenge.
Yeah, I definitely agree. Like, I feel like this retreat ran really smoothly. That's why I said the only thing I could really think of was the rain, but even act like we've dealt with that before. So we kind of know how to tackle that. so it really, wasn't a huge obstacle. We were just really wet and soggy. Um, another thing that I, where I do the food prep and everything. that I always find as a challenge is finding a balance of enough food versus too much food. but I think that's always going to be a challenge. cause you never know how everybody's going to eat and some days I'm hungrier than other days. And so. Yeah. That's just something I'm always going to have to roll with.
Janae: I think it's more of a letting go of. You probably will
Tina: never, Nope. Never going to find that balance.
Penney: Well, maybe it's still, something needs to be solved. It just is going to be what it is.
Janae: I would say the biggest challenge that I ran into was. maybe [00:08:00] a few different things. One thing I can reflect on is like being able to regulate. My energy levels throughout the weekend. And. I feel like on the first day. It was. a lot of like, You nervous. Excited energy and then changing. Just balance and maintain. Expectations on how I'm going to show up throughout the whole weekend. I feel like I did a pretty good job of doing that. So I didn't feel super exhausted or burnt out when we got home. And then the other challenge was. Learning. Too.
Let go and step back and really allow the people who were there to create. The meaning that they wanted out of it. and not meaning to be. In the middle of seams are asking a lot of questions or leading them towards insights, but really just allowing them to create the space that they wanted to and more freedom. Love. [00:09:00] Joining it. Their own casing. I'm going. And supporting each other. I think there was a lot of trust put into the women that were there. And I really appreciated how well they held space for each other.
Penney: Yeah. Agreed. Yeah.
Janae: All right. Our next question is what is a hope you can carry for future retreats?
Penney: Definitely for me is a hope that we can continue to offer a space for women. and, for a couples retreat for couples to have a place, to have emotions, to have feelings, have it be safe, have it be unplugged. Have it be just about them, where they can just focus on. that process and the time for themselves, I really feel like in our busy world, we're worried about other people or the phone or social media or the house or the responsibilities. And it really is such an unplugged space where everything is taken care of for you. That the only [00:10:00] thing you really do worry about is you where it becomes very introspective and reflective and. And so I think my hope for carrying forward is continuing to create a space and hold space for that to happen. Yeah, definitely.
Tina: Yeah, it was like, I think you like checked off all the boxes there covered all the topics. At least for
Janae: me.
Yeah, I think for me, the hope is to continue putting out. And new material, new curriculum, and just new ways that we explore the material. It gets better and better each time we do it. And. I think sometimes it can be hard when we swing back around and we're going to do it again to just say, oh, well, This worked well, last time, let's just do the same thing and to not get stuck in that, but allowing things to change and continue growing. Because when we do step back on. Then it gets better and better each time.
Tina: Yeah. Well, just thinking about the way that our brains work in the three of us work I don't ever see us [00:11:00] doing. Exactly the same thing each time, because we haven't yet, we always find something new or better different, or let's try this, let's do this. And you never know if you're going to have new people or old people come. And you don't want people to come that have already experienced. that, so finding. A little bit of change is always good. But
Penney: I also agree getting stuck in a rut. Number
Tina: good. Yeah.
Janae: And the process that. You know, no matter what we choose to do, we can completely change the entire format of what we're doing and we'll still learn new things and we'll still. Have really big successes. So, yeah.
You want to take this next section, penny? Sure. We can step into tips. So if you were on retreat with us, Or you have been on a retreat or had a time of self-reflection and growth. I just wanted to keep some, to cover some tips about how do you keep that going once you're home and you're out of the mountains and you're away from that reflection, even if that's a personal vacation or a couples vacation [00:12:00] or a. time when you're devoting to reflection, although vacation is really different than retreat. They're really not the same thing. Uh, retreat really is about whether that's a team retreat where you're focused on, just that mindfulness as a team and building that, or whether that's couples, where you're focused on your communication and connection. It's all about reflection and insight and building those relationships is, is a good way to put that relationship with self or with your partner with, other people. So ways to keep that going, once you're back, in our retreat, we make sure that the last day is spent creating a change plan. So it's something that you can move going forward. So if you were out of retreat where that didn't happen, or you've been in a. A place of reflection where you didn't make a plan. When you came back, my challenge would be create the plan. And follow it. And put it somewhere where you'll remember it and follow through on it. So those moments that you decided to make a change, stay with you long-term until that becomes habit.
Yeah. I'd like to add on that. A bike. Taking [00:13:00] some time within the first week of coming back to reflect back. On all of the things you wrote down on the things that you journaled about on, you know, for our participants specifically on some of the things that they made and created. Like taking the time to. Check back in with everything that was said in processed and then taking the time to really consolidate. And allowing that to like really metabolize. And get settled within them. Absolutely.
Tina: Yeah. I completely agree. I know, like when I do suffer reflection stuff, Or like when we do the new moon sound bass and full moon, because that's something that we do here for community events. I'll write down the questions, but I find myself a lot of times I've just kept busy and wrapped up in real-world stuff. And I don't make an effort to go back and recheck in on that. so definitely I think a week out. checking back in seeing. Where you're at with everything and checking in on your plan to make sure [00:14:00] that you're actually following through on your plan. super important.
Janae: And that could be a check-in I'm saying. Wow. This is a really optimistic plan. Maybe. We dial up the high cooler, you know, it doesn't necessarily need to be. And enacting this perfectly. But yeah, it definitely taking time to reflect on it. Yeah.
Penney: the next one is yeah. Taking time, in nature to reflect, we do our retreats in nature, completely unplugged. There's a lot of benefits to that. If you haven't listened to the podcast three-day effect, I highly recommend it. It's a lot of what we based our doing our retreats off of. And why we do it in the mountains and where we do it at so time and nature is important. David, if that's going outside on your lunch break, taking a walk, get outside, take time outside. So, Recommendation is to take time, to reflect and be in nature and then take time to journal. That could be. Doing a weekly Mandela or daily that could be daily. Writing keeps something [00:15:00] next to your bed, but really journal and the reflection, the change, the where my ad. Around the topic that you chose to make the change on. Take time to do that, to process that daily. And to let those thoughts out. And the last one is if you've built relationships, when you were on retreat, keep those up, reach out, make the connections. Instead of having them there and having them gone. We did talk about in our last episode that it's okay for friendships to be there and be what they are, and then move on. but if you've made those connections with like-minded people and shared that experience, if you are struggling with friendships and relationships, excellent time to keep those going. Um, build friendships and, and new way to do that.
Janae: Yeah, I feel a little bit bad with the little bit of rush we had with the rain on the last day. We missed a little bit, usually on these retreats, we say like, if you want to pass around your books and put phone numbers in, or you don't, I hope that they took the time to do that on their own. but I know that we didn't. Taking the time to [00:16:00] facilitate that. Like we usually do. Yeah, definitely. Reach out. You know,
Penney: And make connections and keep them going again. Minded people that you've joined so you can build some friendships around. Yeah.
Tina: Well, Definitely in today's world. If you, as long as you know, their first and last name, you can probably try and find them on. Some sort of social media platform. Even if you weren't able to get numbers or. Anything
Janae: like that.
Uh, anyone listening to this. Who was on that retreat, they have our number. And we can. Uh,
Penney: reach out and be facilitators. Yes. We
Janae: can be the middle man, if you'd, if you need to. Yeah. Absolutely. I also want to say with our taking time group. In nature, tear up black. I know a lot of people will be taking photos on their phones. And today I was actually looking back through all the photos cause I was getting ready to send them to Tina, to compile. To create a big file for all of our participants to go in and look at. And it was just nice to be able to look back on those [00:17:00] photos as a way of reflecting and remembering that time. And that could be a part of that reflection.
Penney: I didn't take any of this time. Typically I do. When we do sunrise yoga, or are we to the candle at yoga? I didn't, I really noticed the first day my like picking up and tracking my phone and realized I don't want to be tied to it. And there were many times throughout the weekend where I was like, I don't even know where my phone is at. Where's my phone. And everybody was helping me find it, as we have the Sileo. App to make sure we're all safe on it. but I didn't keep track of it and I didn't do pictures and I was really completely unplugged. And so I think I took it, as a different challenge this weekend. Yeah. Yeah, very much so.
Tina: I also want to put in with the taking time to reflect in nature. I know. In some areas it's really hard to find spaces where there's not businesses and houses. And they're really the more you can immerse yourself in just green and nature. Like at a park [00:18:00] or anything like that is. Super beneficial. I know, like I said, it's not always optimal with where you're at. but if you can find a green space. that's the best way to be in
Janae: nature. Yeah. I don't know, I do my walks around the office here and it's within neighborhoods, but it's still there's trees. There's grass. There's flowers. Yeah. And I've been recently taking. Random pictures of people's yards. And I try not to do it. In a creepy way. but because I'm moving house in and kind of thinking of what do I want to plan? What do I like and, you know, saving those or storing them for next year, kind of like, okay, these are the things that I saw growing in other people's yards that I really liked, or I liked the way that they, Landscaped in this way. And so I liked doing that. Another thing I read online a few weeks ago, was people going on, walks and going on? Glimmer hunting. So we've talked about glimmers and triggers before.[00:19:00] and so that could be something, even if you can't be completely immersed in nature. You can be walking around and looking for things that do bring you up your ladder. They are. Our glimmers are positive things.
Tina: Yeah, I guess in my brain, I'm thinking more like, I dunno, busy New York street things where there is no. nature and stuff. And luckily in Idaho, where. We have big yards. And so there's a lot more green. if you're walking out in a residential area to look at, but that's not always the case.
Penney: Go find it. There's green spaces everywhere. Go find him. Yeah. Do your best. Even if that's, somebody has an office building, they set up a terrarium. Yeah. Or a space. It was in a building that house green that's. Okay, too.
Okay. What are the physical benefits for its takes to, what are the physical benefits of going on retreat and working on ourselves? Like as a stock, that's a single question in our, it takes two. so maybe we can say working on ourselves, supported by others. And what [00:20:00] kind of support do we need from others as we work on ourselves? I did think this one was interesting. So where we did, all of that, the expressive, art as part of the process, this time, my challenge was to have all of that done before we got up there. So we had pictures of videos. So I did some of that internal processing before we got there and had my plan of. this is what I want to focus on. But it was different this time in as a leader, I was also able to answer the questions and have a process instead of having it be very much just about the participants. So I would say the physical benefits for me of going on retreat and working away assaults were similar, lower heart rate. I really was calm during the weekend. And enjoyed nature and the breathing and the time and the space and the benefits of letting go. We did a whole letting go ceremony, which was very beautiful and cathartic and. And really amazing. So I think all of those moments for me physically, definitely feeling better in my body, [00:21:00] feeling performing well, time and nature, taking time to appreciate. And again, unplugging and letting go of electronics was important for me.
Janae: I had, A boost in link. Confidence and. And boost and appreciation for the aspects of the retreat that I am in charge of and just really appreciating. It was funny after setting up the, um, The sound bath. Outside. And I took a picture of it and some videos of it. And just reflecting in that moment, I was like, this is kind of crazy, like what we do in the mountains. Huge tarp out. And then everyone's got a bunch of mats and then blankets and props and then the bowls. And, then I had written out like this whole script to follow and. You know, really trying to be extremely intentional about creating that space in. It worked great. And it was really magical and [00:22:00] beautiful, and I really appreciated it and it was received well, which made me, you know, feel excited, but. Just the process of being able to. Step into that confidence while we were up there was really nice. I felt a little bit of a dip around. My teaching and. My space as a yoga person. And so that was kind of nice.
Penney: To feel that people appreciate it. And what I do is important and it's beautiful. Yeah. Just. I mean a little bit of the, it being appreciated by, I guess more of me feeling like, yeah, this is fulfilling. I feel like I am. Making an impact, or this is fulfilling for me to be doing, like when I was reading the questions, I'm playing the bowls that I was just like, wow, this is it's beautiful. I was appreciating it. For myself. Yeah.
Tina: Yeah.
I definitely think, physical benefits for me. I really enjoyed, getting out on our [00:23:00] hike. and. Fully immersing in nature. so where are we do have the Xeljanz? Leo app and a lot of participants give out my number for it. I can't. fully unplug, which sometimes is a little frustrating. but I felt like I was able to do that a little bit more on our hike. So that was really nice. And taking the time to find the glimmers or stuff to do our nature Mandela's and just being fully present and immersed in that. I think was probably a really good thing for me. and physically getting my body moving. and being more active. It was beneficial. Well, with being pregnant, my lower back tends to hurt a lot. And so that movement, I feel like was, very
Janae: beneficial.
Nice. I was surprised by. How many people really were looking for things to gather on the height for the vandalism. it was so fun watching everyone like, specifically. There was someone [00:24:00] hiking in front of me. And as we were walking, She like doubled back. And I had to stop and kind of take a few steps back and she picked up a rock. That I had just walked over. I was like, I'm not noticing that. And she was like, oh, this is perfect. I was just like, so funny, like the things that we all get called to, to. And then it was really beautiful to go around and hear everyone explain what they created in their men. Dollar's up there and. seeing everyone, even if there were some participants that were like, I don't really know what I did or I was just kind of putting things out, but then when they were explaining it and they. Had to make meaning of it. There was meaning behind it. Behind
Penney: everything. That's the beauty of art, right? Because there is, it's how it's being able to tell the story. That's there. And I do think the nature Mondalez and, the gathering made it more of an intentional hike instead of just get to the top. Uh, discovery and looking around or along the way it definitely was for me.
Tina: Yeah. It definitely made me slow down. Be more [00:25:00] present being awe cause that's a big part of being out in nature. Right. cause normally I like put my head down and it's like, I'm going to reach the destination. And I'm not always taking that time to be. Fully present and in the moment. and so having to pay attention and gather stuff for them and dollars. Made me look around more and be more present. Yeah, we have
Janae: and see the beauty. It was like, We were stopping and taking videos of butterflies landing on flowers. Pausing for like several minutes at a time and just. Yeah, it really wasn't like a power of the melon. It was so nice. I was telling Tori. Well, you made it up there. I was like, that was the most pleasant. Hike up that I have ever experienced. Like, it was just so chill and I didn't feel. Exhausted. So, yeah, I think that was awesome. I agreed.
Okay, we're ready to spin.[00:26:00]
Penney: mine is an even. So the even question is what is something that you're hoping for from future retreats? I think having a full house, we have been up to 10, our full house is 12, so we've been close to that. This time we were at eight. So for me, it's always hoping to be able to share the experience with more people. And to have, people that come back and return and see the value that they get from that from year to year, as we built relationships.
Janae: Yeah, I like watching it.
Flow from one year to the next or seen. People. You know, maybe they're working on something specifically one year. And then we'll see them again. And it's like, oh, wow. Okay. So. So much growth and change. Even in small things. It's really cool.
Penney: Hmm. And you're an odd,
Tina: okay. I got the odd. So at what ways do retreats build you up? so I think every retreat [00:27:00] is different. Well, I guess our couples versus our women's retreat, for our women's retreat, I really love. the women's synergy and the power of being a woman. We've done the podcast around, um, Power of women, whether the forest got together and talked. And, I just think building that bond in those relationships is really cool. And. Is there a really strong connection. As I mentioned earlier, I'm pregnant and I'm having a little girl. so I believe that she was able to fill that, and getting to experience that was super cool. and then for our couples retreats. I love seeing the change in our couples. We have a lot of couples that come in and. And they're not necessarily the most connected, barely touching, barely talking. and seeing the way that they transform. Throughout the weekend and turn in towards each other and rebuild that connection. And it's just absolutely amazing to watch. And as a leader makes me [00:28:00] feel like what we're doing is actually super important and beneficial.
Awesome. Alright.
Janae: I got even so something that I'm hoping for, for future retreats. Oh, gosh. I guess I'm just hoping for. Things too. Continue to build and grow in.
Excited to see in create relationships with the new people that we get. Each time we go.
All right. Rapid fire. Do we have the. Rapid fire question. Are we just doing one? Yeah, let's just do one for all three of us. I thought, what was the center of your nature? Medela.
I was. rock. That was like a triangle shape and kind of pointed upwards and it had. Small. I think it had a few pine cones resting against it. So for me, it [00:29:00] symbolized like. Being grounded and strong from my roots, but then the pine Crohn's. Or the like, Birth or.
I guess.
Tina: so mine, I had like this really pretty. dusty purple-y, leaf thing that was spread out and it was in threes. And then I had a rock in the middle spreading and outwards. and the rock I know was for like, my ground or my base. Uh, I can't remember what the purple leaf things were for. Cause it was very much so what I was feeling. in the moment and I didn't write it down or record myself. but yeah, that's. That's what he was
Penney: wanting. So mine was mine was.
Excuse me. An orange leaf with two rocks on top of it, which felt very much about that. For me, fall colors of beauty and change. It was interesting how many people throughout the weekend talked about those fall colors as being colors of change and the beauty of change. So for [00:30:00] me, the, the. The beauty of change. And then I had a light rock and a dirt rock on top of the leaf. So the center of, and what that really felt to me was like my own relationship and couples and the couple that I came from, the couples that we help create. And relationships. So it felt very beautiful around changes and beauty and relationships and the light and the dark and the contrast between people. And the beauty that all those make together in the change and in the growth.
That's awesome.
Janae: We will most likely be sharing. Quite a lot of pictures of. The art projects, especially the mental Hollis of you're interested to see what they looked like. So feel free to follow us on social medias and check
Penney: it out. and I did a, Mendela heard the opposite and then we did one on the mountain. So it would be different for the mountain versus the one here, but all the rest. I think of my projects that I did leading up to the retreat have already been posted. don't know, I don't have control over social media, but I have confidence in my team that the flu have [00:31:00] all been posted. So.
Janae: Totally. So, Yeah, I think that's it. Just a reminder. We have some fun things coming up on the podcast, but also for. Upcoming events. So podcast wise, we have some conversations around parenting coming up. Like we teased last week. Specifically, we're going to be talking to a group of moms and dads. And then talking to couples about kind of their parenting journey. which will be really fun. So you'll get to hear some new voices as well in that. Or in those episodes coming up. And then kind of along the similar line, we have our bringing baby home events coming up for September. So we've got two weeks until. Our first one, which will be live that I don't fall. And then I think three weeks until our online version. So if you're interested in checking that out, the links for those will be. In the description. [00:32:00] You can find that. That helped. Top wellness.net.
Penney: Absolutely. So it sounds fun. Excuse me. It just got the hiccups.
Janae: Yeah, thanks for joining us. Thanks for listening. And we'll catch you next time. Bye. Bye.
