Ep. 8 Redefining Success and Building a Women-Owned Business

May 31

Please welcome guests Tina and Tori to the pod with this week's episode where we get the whole Hilltop Wellness team together for a candid conversation about the past two years of starting a new and women-owned business. We discuss the strengths and weaknesses we have found throughout this journey as well as what our "whys" were in starting the company.

Stick around to the end of the episode to hear everyone's favorite memories are from the last two years and share lots of laughter with us as we tell some fun stories.

If you are interested in joining us on a retreat or checking out our upcoming online and in-person events you can go to ⁠www.hilltopwellness.net ⁠

Mini Ep. 8 Breaking down the barriers that helped us redefine what success means in business (30 min) - Found at ⁠www.patreon.com/untanglingrelationships⁠ ep. released every other week.

Episode 8. Hilltop Conversation

USB Microphones-3: [00:00:00] Welcome to Untangling Relationships, a conversation between a counselor and a yoga teacher, a

USB Microphones-2: Gen

USB Microphones-3: Xer

USB Microphones-2: and a

millennial, and a mother and

USB Microphones-3: daughter. Join us as we explore the ins and outs of relationships with your host, Janae and Penny. Hello. Hello. And we have

USB Microphones-2: two extra hosts

USB Microphones-3: today, our guests today.

USB Microphones-2: we are

USB Microphones-3: joined by Tina and

USB Microphones-2: Tori.

So thank

you guys for joining

USB Microphones-3: us. Before we hop into our questions,

maybe just give a quick introduction

USB Microphones-2: so people know whose who

USB Microphones-3: and whose voice goes to what.

USB Microphones: And

USB Microphones-1: also, when we

introduce this in part one, we talked

USB Microphones: about how we're

business

USB Microphones-1: owners, what businesses

USB Microphones: we own, just

USB Microphones-1: as

an intro as to how that's applicable to our

USB Microphones: conversation.

USB Microphones-3: Yep.

So whoever wants to go

USB Microphones-2: first,

USB Microphones-3: you can go ahead and. Give a little bit

USB Microphones-2: of

USB Microphones-3: background information on who you are and maybe what your background information

USB Microphones: Okay. so I'm

[00:01:00] Tina.

USB Microphones-1: I, uh, live

USB Microphones: in Idaho Falls and I'm

part owner of Hilltop

Wellness.

USB Microphones-1: do wellness retreats and we

collaborate with,

USB Microphones: penny and Janae

USB Microphones-1: in their businesses.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah.

I'm Tori, I'm also

USB Microphones-3: part owner of Hilltop Wellness. I'm also the cousin of this trio,

USB Microphones-2: so we have that

USB Microphones-3: fun entanglement as well. Yeah. Probably a good

USB Microphones-2: Claire.

USB Microphones-3: are family. We

USB Microphones: we're, yeah.

Yeah. I guess I didn't

say I'm

USB Microphones-1: a sister slash daughter, so,

USB Microphones-3: yeah. Nice. Awesome. Well, thanks for joining

USB Microphones-2: us. we'll go ahead and hop into the first questions

USB Microphones-3: that we have.

So the first

USB Microphones-2: question

USB Microphones-3: we have is, What made you step into building a business and what were some

USB Microphones-2: of your expectations around

USB Microphones-3: A loaded question

USB Microphones-2: or a big question,

USB Microphones-3: I guess.

USB Microphones-1: I don't

USB Microphones: think we need

to go in any

USB Microphones-1: order. All four

USB Microphones: of

us can

USB Microphones-1: just

kind of pop in with

USB Microphones: our feelings about that.

USB Microphones-3: Yeah. [00:02:00] Any initial thoughts?

USB Microphones-1: Just

USB Microphones: that it was a lot

harder than what

I was expecting.

USB Microphones-1: I

USB Microphones: like, oh yeah,

this'll be easy. And

then you

start

USB Microphones-1: like with the retreat

USB Microphones: business, like,

USB Microphones-1: okay,

USB Microphones: we want geo dos and here's this. And then

USB Microphones-1: like realizing how much

USB Microphones: money

that's actually gonna cost and

USB Microphones-1: then like having

USB Microphones: your

dreams completely

obliterated and then rethinking how

the plan is gonna

go, and then just starting

USB Microphones-1: with tense.

USB Microphones: so it's definitely

USB Microphones-1: more of

USB Microphones: a process

USB Microphones-1: versus

I guess

USB Microphones: so than what you're thinking it's gonna be

and lots of emotions that go into

USB Microphones-1: that.

USB Microphones-3: Yeah. I almost feel like a good way of, I think it's funny that you use the term oblating your dreams. It's almost like shrinking your dreams

USB Microphones-2: fit the

USB Microphones-3: reality of the situation that you're in right now with the hope that

USB Microphones-2: the more time, knowledge and money that you have to

USB Microphones-3: put into the business, you can eventually

USB Microphones-2: reach that peak dream that

USB Microphones-3: had.

But

USB Microphones-2: kind of managing your

USB Microphones-3: [00:03:00] goals and expectations around what it looks like in initially feels

USB Microphones-2: lot like

USB Microphones-3: you're oblating. That big

USB Microphones-1: dream. Yeah.

USB Microphones: I guess maybe

USB Microphones-1: more

like slowing it down, taking like 10 steps backwards instead of just immediately jumping on a racehorse and thinking I can win the race. There's

a lot of

USB Microphones: buildup

to that.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah,

I felt like we had

USB Microphones-3: a great idea

USB Microphones-2: and everything was just

USB Microphones-3: fall into place and it was gonna be wonderful and amazing. And

USB Microphones-2: then when you get down to the nitty gritty

USB Microphones-3: of it, it takes

USB Microphones-2: So much planning

USB Microphones-3: and it takes a long time to

USB Microphones-2: see

traction

for

USB Microphones-3: your

idea. And it's kind of humbling.

USB Microphones-2: Cause we, I personally had

USB Microphones-3: the idea of like, it's such a great idea, it's just gonna all fall together.

People were gonna sell

USB Microphones-2: out every time. It'll be awesome.

USB Microphones-3: But it's taken a lot of work to get where we are today. So that was kind of a,

USB Microphones-2: a expectation leveler.

USB Microphones-1: This

reminds

me of a

conversation, uh,

USB Microphones: Janae and I had

USB Microphones-1: just this morning [00:04:00] about how

all of learning

maybe

USB Microphones: doesn't have to be running

fast, making mistakes and

USB Microphones-1: then rethinking, and I

USB Microphones: don't remember your exact wording around that, but

USB Microphones-1: it

USB Microphones-2: it was

USB Microphones: similar to

that.

USB Microphones-2: that.

Yeah.

USB Microphones-3: Uh, I was talking about how. Some, so some background on this situation is

USB Microphones-2: we've spent all of today recording,

USB Microphones-3: the audio and video aspects of our online course, which hopefully, you know, here in a few

USB Microphones-2: few months,

USB Microphones-3: if

you're listening to this, it'll either be coming out soon or

USB Microphones-2: is already out.

That

USB Microphones-3: online course and

USB Microphones-2: the

USB Microphones-3: aspect of recording video and recording audio, getting

USB Microphones-2: all that synced

USB Microphones-3: up and in

USB Microphones-2: kind

USB Microphones-3: program

is completely new to me. And

USB Microphones-2: I was

USB Microphones-3: joking that some people either hire this out and they have someone come in, like a production team to come in

USB Microphones-2: to

USB Microphones-3: this work, or other people, it's like they've gone

USB Microphones-2: school

with this or they have a lot

USB Microphones-3: background

USB Microphones-2: and they

USB Microphones-3: know how to [00:05:00] do

USB Microphones-2: it.

USB Microphones: Whereas

USB Microphones-2: our,

we tend to

USB Microphones-3: just have that DIY mindset of. We can do anything

USB Microphones-2: we

want and we'll just figure

USB Microphones-3: it out as we go. Like,

USB Microphones-2: we'll

USB Microphones-3: just

USB Microphones-2: use goo

USB Microphones-3: Google and YouTube to figure it out as we go.

USB Microphones-2: And a lot of that ends up

USB Microphones-3: being

USB Microphones-2: translated into,

USB Microphones-3: the, I'll, I'll censor my phrasing here, but it's like, mess around and find out Yeah.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah. Mentality.

USB Microphones-1: was

USB Microphones: your wording, right? Yeah.

USB Microphones-2: So it's like

we end up

USB Microphones-3: having to make the mistakes figure out,

USB Microphones-2: oh, we shouldn't have recorded it like this. Or, oh, the, the audio sounds really wonky through

USB Microphones-3: this whole thing. And then you have to go

USB Microphones-2: back and try and

USB Microphones-3: retroactively fix that. Whereas a lot of people, other people, I feel like they're, like,

USB Microphones-2: they

USB Microphones-3: have enough background knowledge around things

USB Microphones-2: that there's

USB Microphones-3: less of that mentality where

USB Microphones-2: we are just like,

USB Microphones-3: let's just jump in, we'll figure it out and

USB Microphones-2: we'll, we'll do

USB Microphones-3: a lot of the learning

USB Microphones-2: as we go.

I think everyone does

USB Microphones-3: learning as they're, as they go, but we, I have found.[00:06:00]

USB Microphones-2: We utilize that a lot.

USB Microphones-1: We just

USB Microphones: jump in. We

just dive in. Yeah. It's right to the deep end. I think that's a

good example of all of us starting the business together

was very

USB Microphones-1: much like, sure, why not?

And then we dove and

then we do

USB Microphones: almost like a backstroke

USB Microphones-3: or

USB Microphones: this like after

USB Microphones-1: action evaluation of like, okay, so let's evaluate,

uh, what we need

USB Microphones: to tweak and change. And

USB Microphones-1: that those evaluations

have led to some great

USB Microphones: things, but

definitely that learned

USB Microphones-1: through

trial

and error and

USB Microphones: the,

the figuring it out

as we go.

Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-1: So

USB Microphones: yeah,

I think that's definitely our business model is

USB Microphones-3: is. It is.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah.

USB Microphones-3: And that reminds

USB Microphones-2: me of our,

USB Microphones-3: so before our first retreat we had

USB Microphones-2: a little trial run with

USB Microphones-3: Tina Janae

USB Microphones-2: and myself,

USB Microphones-3: and Tristan

USB Microphones-2: was there as well.

USB Microphones-3: Tina and Janae's little sister and my cousin. And we had this idea that we would just cook everything over the fire and it would,

USB Microphones: that was a bad plan.

USB Microphones-3: we would cook for 10 people with [00:07:00] food cooked over the fire. And it would just be simple and easy. And I think we tried to cook hot dogs first or something. No, we were so extravagant.

Remember, or maybe, I can't remember if you were at cuz

USB Microphones-1: didn't,

USB Microphones: oh, when we did the pizza,

USB Microphones-1: when Tina

USB Microphones: Tina and I

USB Microphones-2: it, just the

two of

USB Microphones-3: us, we tried to cook like a full on pizza scones

USB Microphones: and

USB Microphones-1: hey, the goats

USB Microphones: turned out decent,

USB Microphones-2: not

USB Microphones-3: all of them. And they were burnt on the bottom, remember that?

USB Microphones-1: it's bad. It's bad. And so it was like

USB Microphones-3: wanted this big extravagant meal and then it was like, okay, well we'll just figure it out

USB Microphones-1: and

USB Microphones: do it. We're gonna piece these Burt parts off.

USB Microphones-1: really neat? And we didn't have a lot of these

equipment that you

USB Microphones-3: even need to do that

USB Microphones-2: So we're

using like

USB Microphones-1: A

USB Microphones: shovel handle to

prop

USB Microphones-3: to

USB Microphones-2: pick things up and out of

USB Microphones-3: the fire. And it was just

USB Microphones: to lift the lids

USB Microphones-1: up.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah.

USB Microphones: Yeah.

USB Microphones-1: Bad. So, so definitely some

USB Microphones: trial

and error and then that checking expectations

after. I definitely think

as a

USB Microphones-1: business, that's been our

USB Microphones: model

and I think

that's part of the

fun,

USB Microphones-1: but definitely different

feelings

USB Microphones: from

[00:08:00] parts of the team

around

USB Microphones-1: that.

Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-3: Yeah. So the first part

USB Microphones-2: of that

USB Microphones-3: question is what made you step into

USB Microphones-2: building a

business? So I'd love to hear your guys', motivators of starting and doing it.

USB Microphones: Like what's,

USB Microphones-1: what was

the dream?

Yeah.

Well, the

USB Microphones: dream kind of all started with you,

USB Microphones-1: mom. You

USB Microphones: like had

USB Microphones-3: the dream builder. She

did.

USB Microphones-1: She had,

USB Microphones: like, I remember talking about it like when we were

USB Microphones-1: super

USB Microphones: little, like,

USB Microphones-1: oh, wouldn't

it be cool if we like, had

USB Microphones: these

USB Microphones-1: cabins

that could do this?

USB Microphones: And

USB Microphones-1: it was

USB Microphones: like a whole family

USB Microphones-1: thing.

And so we've

been talking

USB Microphones: about it. I,

Tori and I were talking

about it when I was

USB Microphones-1: like,

USB Microphones: 13. Yeah.

USB Microphones-1: Actually

Riding on the back of

USB Microphones: the horses. Taking a step back from that,

USB Microphones-1: sorry, Tina for interrupts.

USB Microphones: okay. That's okay. It actually started with

USB Microphones-1: Tory's dad. Yeah.

That,

USB Microphones: the family potentially was

USB Microphones-1: gonna come into some money and

USB Microphones: he had this idea of having to

USB Microphones-1: retreat business with horses and

USB Microphones: that would look like.

And that's actually who started

USB Microphones-1: this

conversation. So actually I

guess if

USB Microphones: have,

give

USB Microphones-1: credit to someone,

USB Microphones: we'd have to

USB Microphones-1: credit

USB Microphones: to Ryan.

And then that led to more of a conversation

around wanting

USB Microphones-1: do

USB Microphones: the

hippotherapy and do,

you know, the, the therapy with

the [00:09:00] horses and

then what would it

USB Microphones-1: like?

The

equine therapy.

Yeah. The

equine therapy

USB Microphones: to, and move that

USB Microphones-1: a

USB Microphones: business. So it really started a long

USB Microphones-1: time

USB Microphones: ago with that conversation

USB Microphones-1: and then built over time as I have my own practice and my own license. Cause I

didn't even

USB Microphones: even have that at the time I was in my master's program. So, so yeah, for me it,

USB Microphones-1: if I was to say what made me step

USB Microphones: doing business,

I was already in

the business, as we talked about in the first one.

So some of that was easier, but

the

USB Microphones-1: opportunity

to have.

income

heading into retirement for me was part of it that

USB Microphones: I wouldn't have to be

USB Microphones-1: working all the time, but we

could do some weekend stuff or have something that was more passive income that

we built and had some legs

USB Microphones: behind it.

And

USB Microphones-1: then

also the wanting

to, I, I look at the, the

USB Microphones: talents and the know-how that we have and

USB Microphones-1: really feel like we have something to

offer the community

and

wanting to share that.

So for me, that

USB Microphones: was my step

USB Microphones-1: into the business.

USB Microphones: yeah,

so getting back to

USB Microphones-1: that

for me

USB Microphones: was, we've just always grown up talking about it

USB Microphones-1: and we

USB Microphones: were driving back [00:10:00] from,

USB Microphones-1: Tory's

21st birthday

USB Microphones: and it was like,

well we've always

talked about this.

USB Microphones-1: Why don't we just do

it? And none of us really like having bosses

cuz we're

USB Microphones: all very, very

USB Microphones-1: independent women.

USB Microphones: Which I

think

USB Microphones-1: comes from our family

USB Microphones: a lot.

USB Microphones-1: so the idea of not

USB Microphones: having to

USB Microphones-1: answer to anybody else, getting to put all

USB Microphones: these amazing

ideas and thoughts that

USB Microphones-1: we have into one collaborative thing,

being able to

step in and do

the

USB Microphones: equine therapy, which

we don't

USB Microphones-1: have yet, but hopefully, you know, in the long run that's somewhere

USB Microphones: we go, was

USB Microphones-1: definitely the

big motivator and push for me.

And

USB Microphones: just getting out from under

other people's ideas and

USB Microphones-1: thoughts and being able to be creative

in our own thing.

USB Microphones-3: yeah,

that makes sense. I definitely relate to that, of

USB Microphones-2: wanting

USB Microphones-3: to have a more expanded

USB Microphones-2: range of how

USB Microphones-3: I, I'm working with people within the community and helping people within the community,

USB Microphones-2: and having more options

USB Microphones-3: on

not

just doing

Yoga

[00:11:00] inside,

USB Microphones-2: but

USB Microphones-3: we ran across. A really great podcast called, is it called

USB Microphones-2: The Three Day Effect?

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm. So if you

USB Microphones-2: have, I

USB Microphones-3: think it's only available through Amazon's podcast stuff. So, if you have access to, or Audible,

USB Microphones-2: is

USB Microphones-3: it through Audible? That's

USB Microphones-2: what it is,

USB Microphones-3: which is owned by Amazon.

USB Microphones-2: But anyways,

USB Microphones-3: so if you have Audible and you have the chance to listen to the three day effect,

USB Microphones-2: that was a really big push for us to start our business

USB Microphones-3: hearing

USB Microphones-2: some

USB Microphones-3: research around what are the

USB Microphones-2: healing benefits of being

USB Microphones-3: outside and how can we help people? As we've all

USB Microphones-2: grown

USB Microphones-3: up, we've been very outdoors, outdoorsy type

USB Microphones-2: of family,

USB Microphones-3: and we have a lot of background experience with that. And

USB Microphones-2: so how do we

USB Microphones-3: make that more accessible to

USB Microphones-2: people who don't? And part of

USB Microphones-3: that is, let's take 'em

USB Microphones-2: on retreat. Let's show '

USB Microphones-3: em how to build their tent. Let's show them how to.

USB Microphones: that

USB Microphones-3: they

can have confidence [00:12:00] going on a hike, how to use hiking poles, and just

kind of liberating them of being able to have that outdoor

USB Microphones-2: experience without

USB Microphones-3: needing all the gear and knowledge and know-how behind it,

USB Microphones: how do you cook outdoors.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah.

USB Microphones-2: Which

USB Microphones-3: I mean, we've also learned a ton since we started too.

USB Microphones-2: it's been a

USB Microphones-3: growth on both sides. But I think that

USB Microphones-2: listening

USB Microphones-3: to that podcast was the big click for me personally. Yeah. Of like, not only is this helpful, but there's so much science and research behind that. It's,

USB Microphones-2: it's deeply

USB Microphones-3: impacts your mental health. And this was,

a really big push after covid of like, how do we, there's a mental health crisis in our area.

What options do people even have to get help and to

USB Microphones-2: feel better?

and

how

USB Microphones-3: do we be a part of that?

USB Microphones: Yeah. I definitely liked taking

USB Microphones-1: like that original

USB Microphones: dream and seeing the

science that

USB Microphones-1: could happen behind it. And listening to

USB Microphones: that podcast, it was super [00:13:00] helpful to see, yeah, this really

USB Microphones-1: is a need and a

basis, not just a thought

that we've

had.

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-2: What

USB Microphones-3: about you to,

USB Microphones-2: what made you step

USB Microphones-3: building originally

USB Microphones-2: I kind of had

USB Microphones-3: the mindset

USB Microphones-2: of, like,

USB Microphones-3: we discussed a little bit earlier of the,

USB Microphones: the

USB Microphones-3: glorified version of being

USB Microphones-2: an entrepreneur

USB Microphones-3: and

USB Microphones-2: your own

USB Microphones-3: schedule

USB Microphones-2: and getting to

USB Microphones-3: share what we love the outdoors with other people.

And I'd say now it's evolved into.

USB Microphones-2: Giving the opportunity for

USB Microphones-3: couples therapy and, individual skill

USB Microphones-2: building to a

USB Microphones-3: large amount of people for

USB Microphones-2: a price that

USB Microphones-3: most people can afford. And we also donate to scholarships per retreat. So for those that can't afford the full price, then they can pay the scholarship

USB Microphones-2: price.

USB Microphones-3: And really just making that accessible to all people because it can be very expensive to do that [00:14:00] without those kind of assistance things. And as well as it can be expensive and challenging to

USB Microphones-2: get

USB Microphones-3: into nature

USB Microphones-2: and start camping if

USB Microphones-3: it's something that you don't know how to do and you don't have the gear to do.

So a combination

USB Microphones-2: of

USB Microphones-3: helping people get outside and helping people receive counseling skills and

USB Microphones-2: therapy.

USB Microphones-3: Yeah,

USB Microphones-2: like.

USB Microphones-1: Trying

USB Microphones-3: to just get

USB Microphones-2: into a counselor

USB Microphones-3: in our

USB Microphones-2: area. You're on a

USB Microphones-3: year-long wait list and trying to find a qualified, certified couples therapist

USB Microphones-2: aren't in our area. It's extremely slim pickings.

Mm-hmm.

So,

yeah, that definitely

USB Microphones-1: and it

research

and it is expensive to, I

know a lot of people I've talked to that or wanna do

camping and they

USB Microphones: look at the cost of

USB Microphones-1: buying

all the

gear and then maybe taking one camping trip and deciding they don't

USB Microphones: like it

or they don't know how. And it can feel really

you're wanting to

USB Microphones-1: get out

USB Microphones: have those [00:15:00] experiences

USB Microphones-1: along with

USB Microphones: really

USB Microphones-1: scary.

You're like, okay, so I'm getting this tent. How do I set it up?

USB Microphones: What does

USB Microphones-1: look

USB Microphones: like? Where do

USB Microphones-1: I go in the area? There's bear attack

USB Microphones: every

month. So yeah.

USB Microphones-2: What do

USB Microphones-3: we sleep on?

How do we

USB Microphones-2: we stay

USB Microphones-3: warm? Yeah. And we,

USB Microphones: how do I

USB Microphones-1: I cook

USB Microphones: food

without just having hot

USB Microphones-1: dogs? Like, I remember one of our first

USB Microphones: people were like, oh, I thought we were just gonna be having like hot dogs

and hamburgers

USB Microphones-1: night.

Not like mm-hmm.

Nice dutch

USB Microphones: oven

USB Microphones-1: meals. Yeah. And yeah.

USB Microphones-2: And

USB Microphones-3: we researched and experimented and we tried to provide the nicest,

USB Microphones-2: um, supplies and comfy

USB Microphones-3: beds and warm toes and good meals.

Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-1: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones: Absolutely. So

USB Microphones-1: question.

Are we okay?

USB Microphones: Moving on. Um,

USB Microphones-1: how do you

define success around running

USB Microphones: slash managing

USB Microphones-1: a company?

USB Microphones: I

feel

USB Microphones-3: like this has changed

USB Microphones-2: dramatically.

USB Microphones-1: I, I do wanna point out

USB Microphones: this is part of

USB Microphones-1: the

process that we've

USB Microphones: gone to,

USB Microphones-1: gone through. So one thing we noticed

USB Microphones: as. a collaborative

USB Microphones-1: was [00:16:00] that we didn't know how to have a business together.

There's a very big

USB Microphones: difference

between we go

USB Microphones-1: up and do retreats

and we

USB Microphones: have business meetings

USB Microphones-1: and set up

a business that those

are really two

parts of a

business

USB Microphones: that we

really, last year, I think got really good at the

USB Microphones-1: first part.

And we're really

developing the

USB Microphones: second

part.

USB Microphones-1: So

USB Microphones: part of

that is we

decided

to do

the

Dare

USB Microphones-3: to Workbook

USB Microphones-1: mm-hmm.

USB Microphones: By Brene Brown that

USB Microphones-1: we all read the book and that we've

USB Microphones: been working

through the

workbook and

USB Microphones-1: creating

a business model

USB Microphones: and a business

USB Microphones-1: plan

and a communication

system around

USB Microphones: business that honors,

success

USB Microphones-1: for all of

USB Microphones: us.

And

so the definition of success has

USB Microphones-1: been part of

that conversation

USB Microphones: about what does success mean. So I think success

for us

USB Microphones-1: also

means,

first off, how do we honor.

How each

USB Microphones: other sees it and

that we're not just successful in what we present

USB Microphones-1: to

USB Microphones: the

public,

USB Microphones-1: but

USB Microphones: that we're

USB Microphones-1: unsuccessful

USB Microphones: in how we show up for each

USB Microphones-1: other and how we show up as a

USB Microphones: business and

[00:17:00] represent ourself as a business. So to me, there's

two parts to that.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah, I would almost

USB Microphones-3: add on to that of like,

kind of developed how we work

USB Microphones-2: together when we're up on retreats.

USB Microphones-3: But even before that, it was like, how do we break the patterns of

USB Microphones-2: communication

USB Microphones-3: and roles that we've already built within our family?

Because

we definitely pulled family

USB Microphones-2: structures into our

USB Microphones-3: first, and we still do, we fall into it, but we're getting better at it.

But it's like we, when it was within the first year of us doing stuff,

USB Microphones-2: we definitely fell into those same patterns.

USB Microphones-3: And doing the

USB Microphones-2: Brene Brown work

USB Microphones-3: has definitely helped with

USB Microphones-2: resetting those.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah.

USB Microphones: Yeah. I also think like

a lot of

USB Microphones-1: people, and I

know we did at first like success

USB Microphones: was

like, how many bookings are we getting?

how

much money are we making? Are we even gonna make any money? And

just

USB Microphones-1: realizing that within

USB Microphones: the first couple

USB Microphones-1: of years of

USB Microphones: a business, you

USB Microphones-1: might not book out every

USB Microphones: single time, and

USB Microphones-1: it might [00:18:00] be a fight to try

USB Microphones: and get

people coming

USB Microphones-1: and, feeling like you're not successful and

USB Microphones: maybe this isn't

USB Microphones-1: a good

idea.

USB Microphones: And finding

USB Microphones-1: different

USB Microphones: ways to find success throughout. So that we started looking at, okay, how many

USB Microphones-1: people

are

actually like

USB Microphones: going and

looking

USB Microphones-1: at the website

USB Microphones: and,

oh, we got a

USB Microphones-1: post done today and

USB Microphones: it had this

USB Microphones-1: many likes

USB Microphones: or whatever.

USB Microphones-1: And trying to turn and

USB Microphones: focus our success

USB Microphones-1: on things that

USB Microphones: we actually

had to control

over

USB Microphones-1: versus like, this is

what

USB Microphones: we're hoping will happen. So I

USB Microphones-1: have control over, I did all

my posts

USB Microphones: today, or we got

USB Microphones-1: our

curriculum set

USB Microphones: up, or,

USB Microphones-1: you

USB Microphones: know,

we're working on setting up

our

USB Microphones-1: business.

Like here's what's

USB Microphones: gonna

happen when we eventually

USB Microphones-1: get to hire employees type of

USB Microphones: situation.

And,

just looking at that

success

USB Microphones-1: as a

USB Microphones: business also, and

USB Microphones-1: not just the

USB Microphones: outside stuff that

you don't

USB Microphones-1: have, control

USB Microphones: over.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah.

USB Microphones-3: I've really liked looking at it also from

USB Microphones-2: like a personal development. We can all list

USB Microphones-3: probably

USB Microphones: [00:19:00] 2050 things that

it's like, I didn't

think I could

USB Microphones-3: do this, or I

USB Microphones-2: had no experience

USB Microphones-3: of doing this when we, before we first started and now it's like I'm doing things now that I thought was extremely difficult or impossible and I'm now making leaps

USB Microphones-2: and bounds with my professional

USB Microphones-3: ability skills that I've built and personal skills that

USB Microphones-2: I'm building.

So that's also like a part

USB Microphones-3: of the success for business or me, is even if

USB Microphones-2: we

USB Microphones-3: never end up building something massive. Or even if we don't ever get

USB Microphones-2: like those things, those areas that aren't within our

USB Microphones-3: control, like Tina

USB Microphones-2: was talking

USB Microphones-3: about,

USB Microphones-2: like

USB Microphones-3: financial things or booking things that it's

USB Microphones-2: like we

USB Microphones-3: need other people to step into.

Even if we don't

USB Microphones-2: ever get those, there's

USB Microphones-3: still so much growth and so

USB Microphones-2: much success in

USB Microphones-3: that growth that is

valuable.

And I think a

USB Microphones-2: lot of times

we can be really wrapped up

USB Microphones-3: in what does it look like from the

USB Microphones-2: outside? Like,

USB Microphones-3: are people gonna view us

USB Microphones-2: [00:20:00] as failures

USB Microphones-3: because

we're not reaching these quote unquote goals that a normal business should have.

And switching that mindset instead to an internal,

USB Microphones-2: like what does it look

USB Microphones-3: like from the inside out? Like they don't see all the background

USB Microphones-2: work that

USB Microphones-3: we've done. They don't necessarily see all the growth that

USB Microphones-2: we've done just in how

USB Microphones-3: we communicate to each other and talk to each other. And those are

USB Microphones-2: big steps, I

USB Microphones-1: Yeah.

USB Microphones: I think the other piece of that, sorry want to go first?

USB Microphones-1: No,

it's okay. Go ahead.

USB Microphones: just to

piggyback off of that,

of the

USB Microphones-1: other part of

USB Microphones: that

success

USB Microphones-1: is when

we talk to our couples

USB Microphones: after retreat

or at

USB Microphones-1: retreat

USB Microphones: and they tell us what they

did learn

USB Microphones-1: from it or what they gained from it, or the

USB Microphones: the moments

when they've, they're checking in a year

USB Microphones-1: later and

saying,

USB Microphones: you know,

this

USB Microphones-1: did

USB Microphones: save

USB Microphones-1: my

USB Microphones: relationship,

USB Microphones-1: or

USB Microphones-3: What I learned at the

USB Microphones-1: women's retreat

USB Microphones: has really

led to more

USB Microphones-1: empowerment and understanding

around myself.

USB Microphones: I do think

those,

USB Microphones-3: we don't

USB Microphones-1: control

USB Microphones: over those successes.

But those are amazing

USB Microphones-1: successes or,

USB Microphones: or

we're [00:21:00] in retreat

USB Microphones-1: and we see a

USB Microphones: breakthrough

in a couple or a person that

USB Microphones-1: changes their entire perspective and

USB Microphones: their mental health. Those

USB Microphones-1: are amazing

moments that definitely

USB Microphones-2: Yeah.

USB Microphones-3: Even if it's

USB Microphones-2: just those

USB Microphones-3: small little glimmers, it's like, oh, that makes it so worth it.

Like, I'm so happy that happened. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-2: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-3: It really is the small things that create overall success. And validation that we are doing the right thing. Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones: Yeah. I

love when, uh,

USB Microphones-1: especially

with our couples, ones like you

watch

USB Microphones: the couples come in

USB Microphones-1: and a lot of 'em are like

USB Microphones: really touching

or super physical

USB Microphones-1: or intimate,

USB Microphones: like you can

USB Microphones-1: feel that, Distance in the

USB Microphones: relationship. and then at the end,

USB Microphones-1: like they're

USB Microphones: sitting on each other's laps,

they're touching each other,

USB Microphones-1: they're laughing more. Like there's a

USB Microphones: whole

complete change,

USB Microphones-1: all of

USB Microphones: couples.

USB Microphones-1: I,

that's one of my favorite things is I love

USB Microphones: watching them come in and then I love

USB Microphones-1: watching them leave with that

total different sense of

USB Microphones: relationship

USB Microphones-1: and confidence in their relationship[00:22:00]

USB Microphones: is a huge success point for me.

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah. Our

USB Microphones-3: original goals, when we set our business like mission statement, it's changed slightly, but we're still hovering around the same goals, was help people deepen

USB Microphones-2: their connection with

USB Microphones-3: nature, their connection with themselves and their connection with other people.

USB Microphones-2: And

any of those small moments

USB Microphones-3: where we can see that happen or help people do that, I think counts as

success.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah.

USB Microphones: And not

USB Microphones-1: taking in other people's thoughts and views. I think a lot of that, like getting stuck on the

USB Microphones: of booking

and

USB Microphones-1: money is

a lot of people

USB Microphones: like just, and I don't think they mean

it like

USB Microphones-1: a

negative way,

but we take

it that

USB Microphones: way. Like how many

USB Microphones-1: bookings do you have?

USB Microphones: How much money have you made?

And like

USB Microphones-1: when you're

starting out as a

USB Microphones: a business,

USB Microphones-1: you, it's

USB Microphones: very slim most, you know, most

of the

USB Microphones-1: time.

And so learning how to define success for others or showing others other ways that we've been successful

USB Microphones: and not taking that

well, people

are expecting me, you know, like what

you

USB Microphones-1: said. People are

USB Microphones: [00:23:00] this and

USB Microphones-1: just

learning.

USB Microphones: Okay.

They're just checking in around the business

USB Microphones-1: and

USB Microphones: we

USB Microphones-1: tell 'em in

USB Microphones: other ways

USB Microphones-3: like how do you

USB Microphones-2: change the phrasing around

USB Microphones-3: it? Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Any other thoughts? You ready to move on to the next question? Cool. All right. How do

USB Microphones-2: personal

USB Microphones-3: barriers show up in the workplace relationships Jana

USB Microphones: on

this

one just

USB Microphones-1: little

USB Microphones: bit before, right?

USB Microphones-3: Wisdom

USB Microphones: you that brought up,

USB Microphones-1: how we are

all

USB Microphones: related. So

some

USB Microphones-1: of those

personal

relationships have definitely shown up in

USB Microphones-2: the

USB Microphones: business relationship and how have worked around those and managed those?

USB Microphones-2: Yeah.

I think

USB Microphones-3: that this could also apply to

what,

weaknesses

USB Microphones-2: maybe

USB Microphones-3: have you seen pop up

USB Microphones-2: and how have

USB Microphones-3: you

USB Microphones-2: you But I

USB Microphones-3: think it works for either

USB Microphones-2: one.

USB Microphones: Yeah. I was

USB Microphones-1: just also thinking

as we've

USB Microphones: been doing our recordings today,

how we're

teaching

USB Microphones-1: all of these skills for [00:24:00] our couples,

USB Microphones: about this is how you should

USB Microphones-1: communicate with your couple,

USB Microphones: this is

USB Microphones-1: how you should communicate like

USB Microphones: this.

And also through the

Brene Brown, I've definitely

USB Microphones-1: noticed like.

USB Microphones: A lot of

defensiveness around, criticism towards what I do along with my

USB Microphones-1: perfectionist side, really coming out,

USB Microphones: and learning

that everything doesn't

have to be

USB Microphones-1: perfect and

USB Microphones: it's okay that it's not gonna be

perfect

USB Microphones-1: first time you

do it, cuz then I tend to procrastinate.

USB Microphones: so just stepping

USB Microphones-1: into that

and trying it

USB Microphones: along with, how we

USB Microphones-1: communicate,

not

just with

couples or as a couple as we're learning

that, but

USB Microphones: how we communicate as a team.

and using those gentle startups

and watching defensiveness and the horseman and everything that comes

with our couples stuff.

USB Microphones-1: But also I

USB Microphones: feel like definitely

USB Microphones-1: applies

to other

USB Microphones: relationships, especially our business

USB Microphones-2: Mm-hmm.

relationships, I read a quote that I actually wrote

USB Microphones-3: on a sticky note and put above my desk, actually, that says,

[00:25:00] perfectionism is just fear in a fancier outfit.

USB Microphones-2: And I hundred

percent

believe

USB Microphones-3: that like it is, it's just fear and the defensiveness that we, we talk about defensiveness

USB Microphones-2: is just coming up to

cover our shame.

So it's like shame and

USB Microphones-3: fear are such big drivers for our behavior and how we talk to people as protection. And being able

USB Microphones-2: to see how that might be

USB Microphones-3: starting

USB Microphones-2: business

is like,

USB Microphones-3: let's put all of your insecurities on blast. Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-2: Let's put it up on a billboard for

everyone to

USB Microphones-3: to pick at and see.

USB Microphones-1: and then we're gonna talk with the people

USB Microphones: that have a lot of influence

USB Microphones-1: over your life

about

USB Microphones: insecurities. Yeah.

And we're gonna analyze the crap

USB Microphones-1: out of

'em and we're gonna

USB Microphones: talk about

USB Microphones-1: 'em every

USB Microphones-2: meeting.

USB Microphones-3: So true. So it's like you want any kind of, if you want big

USB Microphones-2: personal development, start

USB Microphones-3: a

USB Microphones: business

Yeah.

USB Microphones-3: because

USB Microphones-1: learn

how

USB Microphones: to become more self-aware.

USB Microphones-3: It's so, yeah. It's like if you're not willing to

USB Microphones-2: do

that,

USB Microphones-3: I could see that becoming like a really toxic work [00:26:00] environment

USB Microphones-2: or your business is gonna fail.

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah. Or maybe you just go

USB Microphones: into business

USB Microphones-1: by yourself and you don't have others.

You still

have to overcome your

personal barriers. I, it's true. Went into business by

myself. I still

have

USB Microphones: personal barriers

that I've had to work

around and

USB Microphones-1: overcome

and talk through.

USB Microphones-3: And

USB Microphones: so, yeah, I

think anytime you start a business,

you're gonna have to, you're gonna learn a

USB Microphones-1: lot about yourself and what your

USB Microphones: strengths and your weaknesses are,

USB Microphones-1: and being

USB Microphones: able

USB Microphones-1: have a perspective around

USB Microphones: them, not being weaknesses, but around them being challenges that

USB Microphones-1: you give the opportunity to I

USB Microphones-3: would say

USB Microphones-2: from my

USB Microphones-3: perspective between

USB Microphones-2: doing

USB Microphones-3: our collaborative business

USB Microphones-2: and running the my

USB Microphones-3: yoga business on my own, it is a hundred percent harder on

USB Microphones-2: my own because I

don't

USB Microphones-3: have anyone calling me out on it. Mm-hmm. I don't have anyone holding me accountable

USB Microphones-2: and I don't have

USB Microphones-3: the external motivation

USB Microphones-2: to push myself to try harder.

USB Microphones-3: And

USB Microphones-2: you really can just

USB Microphones-3: keep on doing your own

USB Microphones-2: bs.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah. I

USB Microphones: guess maybe I

USB Microphones-1: should

have rephrased

that. Like, I

[00:27:00] feel

USB Microphones: like for some people they're a lot better at that personal

USB Microphones-1: accountability piece.

so maybe

USB Microphones: individual

USB Microphones-1: business would be better

USB Microphones: versus

USB Microphones-1: if you're

USB Microphones: person that

doesn't want to step

into that vulnerability of having other

USB Microphones-1: people,

your

teammates critique you

USB Microphones: and give you some feedback,

and

you're

USB Microphones-1: not wanting to work on

USB Microphones: that.

Maybe not

a partnership

USB Microphones-1: is

not a good idea.

USB Microphones: Is

that a

better, I

USB Microphones-1: didn't mean to

USB Microphones: unvalidated your

USB Microphones-1: guys'.

I don't think you

invalidate. I

USB Microphones: think, I think it was just a, a

USB Microphones-1: clarification around that

experience.

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-1: I've had experience

with both,

looks

USB Microphones: like.

USB Microphones-1: Tori, any personal

USB Microphones-3: barriers you wanna share?

USB Microphones-2: Yeah. I find

that

USB Microphones-3: shyness and insecurities is probably my biggest

USB Microphones-2: personal barrier in running a business,

USB Microphones-3: especially when we're going

USB Microphones-2: retreat because

we wanna

USB Microphones-3: create the best experience that we can for our

USB Microphones-2: participants.

USB Microphones-3: And

USB Microphones-2: I

USB Microphones-3: find myself stuck in shyness in fear

USB Microphones-2: [00:28:00] of,

USB Microphones-3: saying the wrong thing or making an

USB Microphones-2: awkward statement when really that's just

USB Microphones-3: fear of vulnerability.

And when I do challenge

USB Microphones-2: myself to step outta my comfort zone and strike up a conversation with our

USB Microphones-3: participants is when I, I get the most. value and connection with our participants and

USB Microphones-2: with just people in general.

USB Microphones-3: And I think

USB Microphones-2: that, well,

we've heard

USB Microphones-3: that

USB Microphones-2: it's

USB Microphones-3: intimidating to come

USB Microphones-2: on retreats

USB Microphones-3: for our participants

USB Microphones-2: because you are

USB Microphones-3: with a group of people that

USB Microphones-2: you don't know

USB Microphones-3: being

USB Microphones-2: led by

USB Microphones-3: a group of

USB Microphones-2: people you don't know.

USB Microphones-3: So I think it can be comforting to

USB Microphones-2: know that sometimes us as

USB Microphones-3: leaders also feel that

USB Microphones-2: way and

USB Microphones-3: we're striving to

USB Microphones-2: make sure that our

USB Microphones-3: participants have a good experience, but we, we understand the, what do you call it? Fear.[00:29:00]

USB Microphones-2: Yeah. I

would call it fear. Hesitation

USB Microphones-3: on putting yourself out there, especially in front of a group of people that you've never met before.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah. Cause we

USB Microphones-3: do it every

USB Microphones-2: time. We

USB Microphones-1: feel all of

USB Microphones: those

USB Microphones-1: same

fears and worries,

USB Microphones: going into the

retreats about

USB Microphones-1: are they watching us? It's

USB Microphones: funny, we've

done

some really funny things

USB Microphones-1: that hopefully

USB Microphones: nobody sees us

USB Microphones-3: doing this

USB Microphones-1: and then

we laugh

USB Microphones: about it after

of like,

why did

that really matter? That we needed to hide

that we were putting water in the trailer or that we, what

are some other ones

USB Microphones-1: we've done?

Because we, I know we've done more than

one that we're like,

USB Microphones: oh,

USB Microphones-1: oh, don't

USB Microphones: tell anyone. Right. Or

USB Microphones-2: Yeah, we're

trying to

USB Microphones: it

USB Microphones-1: a secret, which

USB Microphones: is just

funny because they show up

USB Microphones-1: vulnerable. We're all showing up vulnerable. And isn't, isn't that the

world in general? We have to show up

vulnerable

USB Microphones: and have the experience because that's

what creates true connection and true

growth.

if we

can't step into the fear

and step

USB Microphones-1: into the

vulnerability,

USB Microphones: we stay stuck. Yeah. I definitely

think that goes back

USB Microphones-1: into that perfectionist,

USB Microphones: like,

if we're not perfect,

then

people

USB Microphones-1: are gonna stop

coming type of fear.

USB Microphones-3: which is why I [00:30:00] love that

USB Microphones-2: we roll

USB Microphones-3: into our mission

USB Microphones-2: statement.

USB Microphones-3: We are giving ourselves permission

USB Microphones-2: to completely show up

USB Microphones-3: messy, and we want you to do the same.

If we're putting up a front, like

USB Microphones-2: we're perfect, we have

USB Microphones-3: everything figured out. We never make mistakes. It's like, so that doesn't give

USB Microphones-2: them permission

USB Microphones-3: to do that either. And that can be so debilitating. I think we get

USB Microphones-2: afraid of

USB Microphones-3: there's that walking that line of you wanna be able to show up

USB Microphones-2: vulnerabil

vulnerable and make mistakes and have messes come

USB Microphones-3: up as leaders, but you don't want it to look like you also don't know what you're doing.

USB Microphones-2: it's like

USB Microphones-3: you're so unorganized that it's gonna be a disaster. You know? It's finding that

USB Microphones-2: it's a fun balance line.

Yeah.

USB Microphones-3: So,

USB Microphones-2: yeah. That reminds

me of our first retreat when we had

a moose

come

through our camp.

USB Microphones-3: Yeah. When everyone was trying to fall asleep and

USB Microphones-2: we

no, we were pretty

USB Microphones-3: freaked out. Cause I

USB Microphones-1: you

USB Microphones: two were pretty freaked out.

I could have

USB Microphones-1: killed you both.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah.

Janae and Tori

USB Microphones-3: [00:31:00] were very freaked out. Yeah.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah. And

USB Microphones-3: it was

USB Microphones-2: funny

because that's something we can't control

USB Microphones-3: and we woke up in the morning and laughed about it with all of our participants

and we,

we had a good time kind of laughing about it, realizing that it wasn't a big, huge bear to come eat us. It

USB Microphones-2: was just a moose going to water.

Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-3: Well, it was so funny because I heard noises, and so then I'm like panicking and I'm like, are we supposed to do something? Like, yeah, there was one woman over in a tent all by

USB Microphones-2: and

it was in

USB Microphones-3: the direction that the noises were

USB Microphones-2: Mm-hmm. So then my

USB Microphones-3: brain is like,

USB Microphones-2: do we go

USB Microphones-3: wake

USB Microphones-2: up?

USB Microphones-3: Do we

USB Microphones-2: go

USB Microphones-3: her with her to do? And so then I got my headlamp out and I'm like looking and scanning around, shining it right at her tent. And this is late at night and like

USB Microphones-2: Yeah.

USB Microphones-3: Trying to search around for the danger and.

USB Microphones-2: The next

USB Microphones-3: morning, I was like, did you hear

USB Microphones-2: those noises by your

USB Microphones-3: tent? She's like, no, I didn't

USB Microphones-2: hear

USB Microphones-3: anything, but why were you shining a light

USB Microphones-2: in my [00:32:00] tent?

USB Microphones-3: I

USB Microphones-2: was like, I didn't know what to do. I was

USB Microphones-3: just trying to protect you.

USB Microphones-2: Oh,

USB Microphones-1: You two are killing me. I was like, I

USB Microphones: have my car

keys. I

USB Microphones-1: read up on this. If there's

USB Microphones: weird noises and things happen,

I'm

USB Microphones-1: just gonna

USB Microphones: hit the

panic

USB Microphones-1: button on the car keys

USB Microphones: and it'll be fine.

USB Microphones-2: go off

USB Microphones-3: you. It's those moments that you're like, I

USB Microphones-2: I didn't,

USB Microphones-3: I didn't fully mentally prepare for this

USB Microphones-1: situation.

USB Microphones: Oh yeah. See?

USB Microphones-1: So I

USB Microphones: had

done

USB Microphones-1: that. I'd done panic mode

USB Microphones: at

like two o'clock in the morning

USB Microphones-1: and

USB Microphones: sat up and read through all of this information

about what to do if

USB Microphones-1: a bear comes

into your camp.

USB Microphones: So I was fully ready.

USB Microphones-3: Well, once Tori said that it was a moose, I was like,

USB Microphones-2: okay, but

USB Microphones-3: moose are still dangerous and I,

USB Microphones-2: I,

USB Microphones-1: are just a scary,

USB Microphones-3: I know less about

USB Microphones: moose, so than I do

about

USB Microphones-1: the bears.

USB Microphones-3: So yeah,

USB Microphones-2: it

USB Microphones-3: funny where it's like, It turns out being funny memories

USB Microphones-2: and things that we can

USB Microphones-3: laugh about and things that, it was funny

USB Microphones-2: to laugh about

with that woman, and

USB Microphones-3: she had,

USB Microphones-2: she thought it was hilarious.

USB Microphones-3: She was like, I

USB Microphones-2: was not worried. I'm

USB Microphones-3: fine. [00:33:00] I was like,

USB Microphones-2: oh yeah, sorry.

USB Microphones-1: Again, we don't have to be the experts on everything.

Yeah, yeah. We definitely have people that it helps them feel better to know

that they can be counted on to

USB Microphones: be, uh, this is how we build a fire or,

USB Microphones-1: or them joking about how they

protect from bear

USB Microphones: whatever that looks Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-3: I feel like you have two people, people in different camps.

You have the people that's like,

USB Microphones-2: I wanna know

USB Microphones-3: that you know how to take care of this, because it makes me feel

USB Microphones-2: really anxious

USB Microphones-3: if, if

USB Microphones-2: I don't

think that

USB Microphones-3: you know how to do it. And

USB Microphones-2: then you have the other

USB Microphones-3: people that it's like what

USB Microphones-2: you just said. Yeah. Of

USB Microphones-3: it's

nice to be given the opportunity

USB Microphones-2: to,

USB Microphones-3: to step up and, and participate.

Yeah.

Okay.

USB Microphones-1: right. So

USB Microphones: next

USB Microphones-1: question. Yeah. Uh, what is something you have learned about yourself

USB Microphones-3: from being

USB Microphones-1: a management position or

USB Microphones: from building a

USB Microphones-1: So something I, I'll share with this

USB Microphones: one first because I laugh about this, that, so I'm

USB Microphones-1: counselor, right? And

USB Microphones: I have [00:34:00] a

USB Microphones-1: brain, and so I

have a view about what people

know about

USB Microphones: emotions and what people know about

the

USB Microphones-1: world of

USB Microphones: counseling. I, there

USB Microphones-1: was just

a good example of this. My eight

USB Microphones: year old

USB Microphones-1: was saying something in the car and I stopped the

car and said,

USB Microphones: you are having thinking of errors and we will not have thinking errors in this car.

USB Microphones-1: I

USB Microphones-2: need you

USB Microphones-3: to

USB Microphones-1: rephrase that

into a different statement. So, so I have this very strong view about what it

USB Microphones: to show up with emotions and words like empowerment and

USB Microphones-3: vulnerability

USB Microphones-1: and counseling words,

and, that not everybody in the.

Has that same perspective or that same vocabulary

and

USB Microphones: that same verbiage.

USB Microphones-1: And

so I'm gonna

pick on Tori a little

USB Microphones: bit

that in one of our first meetings

I started talking about

USB Microphones-1: like resilience

USB Microphones: and

shame and empowerment. And, and Torres

USB Microphones-1: says, wait,

can we pause for a minute? And can you give me either

where I find the information or

some definition around what all

USB Microphones: of

that

USB Microphones-1: means?

Because I think I need to have

some understanding around that.

for [00:35:00] me, something that I learned about myself was I make

USB Microphones: a lot of assumptions

USB Microphones-1: about how

the rest of the world shows up in the world and

that my

USB Microphones: profession or

USB Microphones-1: my education

USB Microphones: has

skewed that

for

me. And that I don't

USB Microphones-1: always

USB Microphones: take

that into account

USB Microphones-1: for

participants or family

USB Microphones: or other people that are around me.

So that was definitely something that

USB Microphones-1: I learned about myself,

was that, need

USB Microphones: to

back check

myself and check in

USB Microphones-1: on expectations

USB Microphones-2: and maybe Yeah. It's like that assumption of, oh, you

USB Microphones-3: don't already know this. Yes. Uh, yeah.

USB Microphones: So, so that was something I learned

USB Microphones-1: about

myself

that, that I maybe have

lost some perspective over time.

And, so understanding

that Tina and Janae

are my children. So they have heard me

USB Microphones: talk

in things like that

for

USB Microphones-1: a really long time.

USB Microphones: And

USB Microphones-1: sometimes they don't always

help correct my perspective

about that.

USB Microphones-3: Well, no, because

USB Microphones-2: we grew up immersed in it, so then it just

USB Microphones-3: feels like this is normal. Yeah. I don't know about you Tina, but I had [00:36:00] to have a huge reckoning of that between me

USB Microphones-1: and

my partner,

USB Microphones-3: where it's like he did not grow up in

USB Microphones-2: a family where emotions

USB Microphones-3: were talked about, where

things

were just freely,

openly

USB Microphones-2: discussed

of, oh,

USB Microphones-3: let's, you know, break down what you were feeling in

USB Microphones-2: that moment,

USB Microphones-3: let's break down why you had this behavior, or, you know, break down this fight that we had as a family

USB Microphones-2: and how can we

do better and let's make a

USB Microphones-3: plan a change around it. It felt,

USB Microphones-2: and I'm projecting

USB Microphones-3: here, but. From what I've seen currently and what he's told me about his past is it was more like

USB Microphones-2: something would

USB Microphones-3: happen or you'd have emotions. It was your personal responsibility to figure that out on your own and then make change

USB Microphones-1: or you just

USB Microphones: couldn't have them

USB Microphones-3: and move forward.

And so then

USB Microphones: it

USB Microphones-3: was like if you weren't

USB Microphones-2: willing to have that personal growth and accountability

around your behaviors in action,

USB Microphones-3: then yes, it would just be ignored and nothing would change.

USB Microphones-2: but it was definitely

USB Microphones-3: less of a collaborative brain experience like it was with [00:37:00] our family. And that was something he

USB Microphones-2: had to really adjust

USB Microphones-3: to.

He's like, you guys just openly talk about everything and I just don't know how to feel about that.

USB Microphones-1: It's

USB Microphones: super frustrating that

they don't. Yes.

USB Microphones-2: just

a difference in perspective.

USB Microphones-3: Yeah, difference

USB Microphones: perspective.

USB Microphones-1: So definitely for me,

USB Microphones: something I

learned

USB Microphones-1: about myself from

being in

USB Microphones: management, cause I had already

built a company,

so, management position was

that.

needing to

USB Microphones-1: check

USB Microphones: perspective or check my,

USB Microphones-1: not necessarily

USB Microphones: expectations, but

USB Microphones-1: check

in with,

USB Microphones-3: I guess

USB Microphones-1: my

USB Microphones: perspective of what's, what's

real, what's not

real

USB Microphones-1: based on other people's

USB Microphones: And now that I'm not, I

do that all the time in counseling in a different

way.

USB Microphones-1: So I do think as a manager, I showed up in

a different way

around

USB Microphones: that

USB Microphones-2: than what

USB Microphones: I would

as a

counselor in a

USB Microphones-1: counseling office.

I wouldn't

have those expectations

USB Microphones: of someone. But as a manager, I did. And so

USB Microphones-1: that was something that I learned about

USB Microphones: myself was

USB Microphones-1: that I

USB Microphones: I definitely

USB Microphones-1: managed that

USB Microphones: in more of

USB Microphones-1: that, master commander,

USB Microphones: here's what I expect and here's what

USB Microphones-1: you should know. And, [00:38:00]

USB Microphones: and I don't in

USB Microphones-1: different way.

USB Microphones-3: I almost view that as just

USB Microphones: a shift in

USB Microphones-3: authority or relationship when you're showing up in a counseling session.

USB Microphones-2: You're showing up as

USB Microphones-3: position of authority on the subject.

USB Microphones-2: You don't expect them

USB Microphones-3: to have the same amount

USB Microphones-2: of knowledge. Yeah. But for me, what

USB Microphones-3: it sounds like is when you showed up to those first few meetings, you assumed we were all on the same

USB Microphones-2: level of knowledge and authority. Yes.

USB Microphones: Yes.

And

the

other thing I learned

about myself as a

USB Microphones-1: manager and we've

USB Microphones: had conversations around is as the, the senior person on

the

USB Microphones-1: team and as

family dynamics,

USB Microphones: if I did say something,

USB Microphones-3: it was

USB Microphones: really easy to

step

USB Microphones-1: into that group, think of

everybody

USB Microphones-3: agreeing with me

USB Microphones-1: because

USB Microphones: I'm the

person that's

USB Microphones-1: always been agreed

USB Microphones-2: with

USB Microphones-1: and we've had conversations

around how I'm not comfortable with

USB Microphones: that.

So then I try and just

USB Microphones-2: just not

give

USB Microphones-1: opinion

USB Microphones-2: because I

USB Microphones: don't want everybody

disagree with me and

USB Microphones-1: then checking myself

USB Microphones: when

I would just expect things to be followed because

USB Microphones-1: I said them

and needing to [00:39:00] step back into a more of

USB Microphones: a collaborative space. So

I think those

USB Microphones-2: are the big, big parts of that

USB Microphones-3: management piece for me

USB Microphones-2: are.

necessarily

working

in a

team because I

do that

the

USB Microphones-3: time,

USB Microphones-2: but knowing,

USB Microphones-1: well I guess

USB Microphones: I'm teaching around what roles are in

a team,

but, but, so

USB Microphones-1: management for

USB Microphones-3: me would be, I'm not gonna give

USB Microphones: my opinion

cuz I don't want

USB Microphones-1: everybody to

follow it. And

then, not expecting

everybody to know

what

USB Microphones: and have

the

knowledge, but having more collaboration

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-2: that was

USB Microphones-3: what I've

USB Microphones: learned about myself

USB Microphones-3: of this

USB Microphones-2: Yeah.

I think

USB Microphones-3: I've learned how important safety within your team is and container building or rules

USB Microphones-2: and

USB Microphones-3: clarified roles on whose task, what task goes

USB Microphones-2: to, who

USB Microphones-3: to really create unity. In your company. And going back to the safety [00:40:00] aspect of

USB Microphones-2: it, I

USB Microphones-3: feel as though your

USB Microphones-2: people have to feel safe to be able to

USB Microphones-3: be vulnerable.

So really everything

USB Microphones-2: stems from creating a safe environment. Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones: I

USB Microphones-3: feel like a lot of companies that

USB Microphones-2: I've been a part

USB Microphones-3: of before this, it was like

USB Microphones-2: whoever's at the top,

USB Microphones-1: what they

USB Microphones-2: say goes

USB Microphones-3: and there's

USB Microphones-2: not that

USB Microphones-3: container building. It doesn't feel safe

USB Microphones-2: to bring up like issues

USB Microphones-3: that you have or suggestions for change.

and I think that

USB Microphones-2: it's

one

thing to say we

USB Microphones-3: wanna be different

USB Microphones-2: and it's okay

USB Microphones-3: to do those things.

USB Microphones-2: It's another thing to set up

USB Microphones-3: the actual.

USB Microphones-1: tools

USB Microphones-2: And space

USB Microphones-3: and verbiage around, okay, but how do you actually do that? Mm-hmm. Because if you've never had

USB Microphones-2: experience doing that, you don't

USB Microphones-3: know how You can

USB Microphones-2: say, our intention is to have it

USB Microphones-3: be

USB Microphones-2: an open space where

USB Microphones-3: everyone can express their opinions, but how do you actually do that and not feel like you're stepping on people's

USB Microphones-2: toes or triggering people [00:41:00] or falling into

USB Microphones-3: defensive dis

USB Microphones-2: and criticism.

USB Microphones-3: that makes perfect sense to me that it's like, yeah, that safety piece is a

USB Microphones-2: really big,

USB Microphones: really

USB Microphones-2: big piece of learning and

Yeah.

USB Microphones: And for anybody that

USB Microphones-1: hasn't read

Brene Brown Stair to Lead, she talks about

container

building

USB Microphones: in

the, when

USB Microphones-1: you're having

USB Microphones-3: regular meetings or just any meeting, that

USB Microphones: the beginning

USB Microphones-1: part of

that is

how

USB Microphones: do we make this container or the space that we're in,

a safe

space and what each other around

USB Microphones-1: that space?

USB Microphones-3: Which is something that we

USB Microphones-1: did as a, a team. And then

USB Microphones: call out

USB Microphones-1: if there's times

USB Microphones: reevaluate

USB Microphones-2: just a

USB Microphones: bit

USB Microphones-1: of education, as I've learned about

USB Microphones: myself

USB Microphones-2: as

a manager. We

don't

USB Microphones: wanna assume

USB Microphones-1: about.

Mm-hmm. that that's

USB Microphones: what and

USB Microphones-3: we work on it consistently. Yes we do. And we're

USB Microphones-2: building new containers when

things

come up.

And

USB Microphones-3: does take work. And I agree.

USB Microphones-2: I think [00:42:00] anyone in a leadership position should read Dare to Lead by

USB Microphones-3: Brene Brown, cuz it, it really is life changing.

USB Microphones-2: If I could have

USB Microphones-3: wrote down everything she said in the book and plastered on a big motivational wall,

USB Microphones-2: I

would've, cuz I, I,

I made a lot of

USB Microphones-3: printed out quotes

USB Microphones-2: just from that book.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah, I

honestly, like after reading it,

USB Microphones: I a wish I

USB Microphones-1: would've had a, like a hardback

USB Microphones: or a paper, you know, like a

physical copy cuz I

USB Microphones-1: just listened to it

USB Microphones: to be able to go through and

USB Microphones-1: highlight and

USB Microphones: make

notes. but then I also never go back and look at my notes, so I'm like, I don't know how

USB Microphones-1: beneficial that would've

USB Microphones: been, or that's something I need to work on. But I

USB Microphones-1: also

have

USB Microphones: recommended that

USB Microphones-1: my husband, he has

started reading it to be able

USB Microphones: to use

USB Microphones-1: with his classroom management slash as

a teacher.

USB Microphones: and he

USB Microphones-1: feels like it's super beneficial.

USB Microphones: I don't

even know if it's

necessarily

USB Microphones-1: like

starting a business.

USB Microphones: Just if you

feel like

USB Microphones-1: you're in more of

a leadership role, highly recommend listening to it. Mm-hmm. Or reading,

USB Microphones: right?

USB Microphones-3: [00:43:00] Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Any, Mm-hmm.

And leadership or

USB Microphones-2: you could be the leadership of your family.

Yeah.

USB Microphones-3: Yeah. That's true. I feel like big things for me, for this question of something I've learned about myself

USB Microphones-2: from being in a management position

USB Microphones-3: and building things is to trust in myself and then equally trust in other people. Yeah, Tina's laughing because it's something that we share. it's

USB Microphones-2: a quality

USB Microphones-3: that we both are working on, where it's like building

USB Microphones-2: the internal

USB Microphones-3: trust that I can do things and I can have

USB Microphones-2: confidence in my ability to do the thing.

And then also once that piece

USB Microphones-3: is ready to be

USB Microphones-2: be passed on to the

USB Microphones-3: next person, you have to be able to

USB Microphones-2: trust

USB Microphones-3: them and pass it on and let it go.

USB Microphones-2: That can be really, really hard and I think that's

USB Microphones-3: something that I'm still learning how to do.

but

I definitely

USB Microphones-2: feel like I've gotten better at it. I also [00:44:00] think the family

USB Microphones-3: dynamics coming into

USB Microphones-2: the business

USB Microphones-3: or it's like

learning

USB Microphones-2: retreats, especially our

USB Microphones-3: camping ones.

It was like, oh, I don't know how to do this piece.

USB Microphones-2: I'll just

USB Microphones-3: go get Tina.

USB Microphones-2: I don't know

USB Microphones-3: how to do this, so I'm gonna

USB Microphones-2: wait until Tina can come help me. And that has

USB Microphones-3: been

USB Microphones-2: a really hard habit

to break.

USB Microphones-3: It's like, no, I'm gonna use my own detective reasoning skills. I'm going to use my

USB Microphones-2: own

USB Microphones-3: physical or internal strength, whatever it is

USB Microphones-2: try

USB Microphones-3: and figure this out on my own.

And I don't need

USB Microphones-2: big sister

USB Microphones-3: to come help me. It's okay to ask for help, but it doesn't need to be the

USB Microphones-2: default

USB Microphones-3: or even the fear of making decisions. I remember one of the first times we brought the

USB Microphones-2: trailer up to our campsite the first

USB Microphones-3: time

USB Microphones-2: Tina and I were like just

USB Microphones-3: nodding at our fingers of like, where do we put it?

Like, I don't know. And we both had this feeling

USB Microphones-2: I said out loud, [00:45:00] I feel

like no matter where we put it, mom's

USB Microphones-3: gonna be upset, it's gonna be wrong and it was

USB Microphones-2: wrong, but

the decision had to

USB Microphones-1: be made.

USB Microphones: the,

USB Microphones-2: I

USB Microphones-3: think it's fine. It's just like the decision had to be made and

USB Microphones-2: we were the only ones

USB Microphones-3: there and we made the best decision.

USB Microphones-1: never pulled up

USB Microphones: and parked a camp

USB Microphones-1: trailer

before. So that's

USB Microphones-2: where that co of, we

USB Microphones-3: did the best we could with the information that we had and, and just having the, you know, we're gonna put it

USB Microphones-2: somewhere and it probably will

USB Microphones-3: be wrong and that's okay. We'll

USB Microphones-2: get to learn

USB Microphones-3: and we'll get to make a decision the

USB Microphones-2: next

time we do it.

I think it's

USB Microphones-1: also not right or wrong and I wasn't mad. It was

USB Microphones-2: maybe we

USB Microphones-1: could have had

USB Microphones: suggestions. Not right or

USB Microphones-3: There's

USB Microphones-1: really so

very few

USB Microphones: things in life that

USB Microphones-1: right or wrong, black and

white, good or bad.

USB Microphones: It's

a continuum.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah. It also didn't

help that

USB Microphones: we were trying to

USB Microphones-1: remove

USB Microphones: trailer from where

USB Microphones-1: we'd put it

in the middle of a giant rainstorm and it was muddy

USB Microphones: and yeah,

like that's added everything.

USB Microphones-1: I

USB Microphones-2: just feel

USB Microphones-3: like the. The resourcefulness that I have built within myself, [00:46:00] one of doing these things up on the side

USB Microphones-2: of the mountain, no internet

USB Microphones-3: service.

USB Microphones-2: A

USB Microphones-3: lot of times Tina and I

USB Microphones-2: would go up just

USB Microphones-3: the two of us on the first day and then

USB Microphones-2: we would

USB Microphones-3: be joined by the rest of the team. So then it's like you're trying to figure out all this stuff on your own.

And when problems

USB Microphones-2: come up, we

USB Microphones-3: have to be flexible, we have to be

USB Microphones-2: quick thinkers,

USB Microphones-3: quick problem

USB Microphones-2: solvers. And I

USB Microphones-3: really feel like

USB Microphones-2: that's a strength that we have built

USB Microphones-3: where it's like someone's tire. We have a flat tire, we're two hours away from someone who can come help with a flat tire or get a new flat tire

USB Microphones-2: and we're an hour outside of cell service.

How do we fix this? And we did. And it wasn't

USB Microphones-3: that big of a deal, like things like that where it's just mind blowing that we are able to pivot and find creative

USB Microphones-2: solutions, I feel

USB Microphones-3: like has been a really big growth.

How

about

USB Microphones-2: you Tina?

USB Microphones: so

USB Microphones-1: for me,

USB Microphones: I think

USB Microphones-1: I've

had two

USB Microphones: big

takeaways. One is finding [00:47:00] that

USB Microphones-1: trust in

myself.

USB Microphones: So

anybody knows

me that listens,

USB Microphones-1: I am rather bossy,

USB Microphones: that big

USB Microphones-1: sister role, right?

USB Microphones: But for some

reason,

USB Microphones-1: stepping into that, like management, I didn't want to be that over

controlling boss. So I feel

like I've actually

in some ways

USB Microphones: taken a step back from

USB Microphones-1: that

USB Microphones: and not

as confident in myself.

USB Microphones-1: like when

I was

USB Microphones: doing research on the tents or

USB Microphones-1: the hiking poles or like all

of the equipment that I did research in to get, cuz that

was my job, I was

always second

USB Microphones: guessing myself. What do you

guys think? What do you guys think? Oh,

USB Microphones-1: Tina, just make a decision.

USB Microphones: You're

USB Microphones-1: the one who's done all the

USB Microphones: research.

You are

USB Microphones-1: the expert, quote

unquote,

you know, in the situation

USB Microphones: between all of us. so.

USB Microphones-1: Finding

USB Microphones: that balance of not being

USB Microphones-1: overly bossy, which

I know I have a

USB Microphones: tendency to do,

USB Microphones-1: but also finding confidence in myself

USB Microphones: and stepping into

USB Microphones-1: that,

okay,

USB Microphones: I am, you know, the expert

USB Microphones-1: or whatever in this situation,

have confidence

USB Microphones: in your choice and it'll be

USB Microphones-1: what it

USB Microphones: is.

And if

it's not,

it flunks,

USB Microphones-1: it, flunks. If [00:48:00] it's great, it's

USB Microphones: great and we will roll

USB Microphones-1: with it. along with feeling like, I

USB Microphones: don't like

USB Microphones-1: delegating tasks I feel like everybody is busy.

And so when I ask other people to do

USB Microphones: something or they have

USB Microphones-1: this task and I feel

like they're gonna

USB Microphones: start to feel overburdened and overwhelmed,

USB Microphones-1: I tend to step

USB Microphones: in and

be that mother hen caretaker,

okay, what can I do?

What

can I take

off of you type of

USB Microphones-1: situation. Along

with also doing

that for myself

USB Microphones: and

asking for

USB Microphones-1: help. I don't

ask

for help

USB Microphones: I don't

want to burden others.

USB Microphones-1: So finding that

USB Microphones: balance of. Not

USB Microphones-1: stepping in and taking

care of

others, letting

USB Microphones: them express how they're feeling

and then stepping into

help if they

USB Microphones-1: need it, along with

asking for help.

USB Microphones-2: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-1: Those are two things.

USB Microphones: When I

USB Microphones-1: first

started working with a team that I learned

were

USB Microphones: that

USB Microphones-3: if you make a

USB Microphones-1: decision

USB Microphones: as a

USB Microphones-3: a team,

USB Microphones-2: even if you don't fully agree, you

USB Microphones-1: to say,

I can then

you

USB Microphones: don't bash the team after you don't

come out.

USB Microphones-1: You don't make comments

USB Microphones: because you

USB Microphones-3: were

USB Microphones-1: in the meeting, you made

the decision together and

USB Microphones: you live

USB Microphones-1: it.

USB Microphones-2: And the

USB Microphones-1: [00:49:00] part

of that

is when as if you

assign a task to someone

and they do

USB Microphones-2: it,

USB Microphones-3: that you don't get

USB Microphones-1: then say,

USB Microphones-2: well

USB Microphones-3: I don't agree

USB Microphones: with how

USB Microphones-1: you did

that. Let me

USB Microphones-2: You

USB Microphones-1: have to

fully jump in and support because

USB Microphones-3: moment you

said,

USB Microphones-1: I trust you to do

this

USB Microphones: task, it means you have

to be

And you

USB Microphones-1: have to show trust to the.

Yeah, and like

the beginning

of that, like that

was a lot of pressure

cuz like tense

USB Microphones: and constantly, like that's a big part of, so

yeah, learning to step into that with big things very early

on was,

was a big learning experience for me.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah.

The

USB Microphones: checking expectations and

conversations

USB Microphones-1: have

USB Microphones: point, not

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones: Yeah. Were you

good for the next one?

USB Microphones-3: Yeah, let's do it.

USB Microphones: Okay. So how has being a

woman impacted

relationships and

starting a company? I think

I look

USB Microphones-3: at this one

USB Microphones-1: for myself as a woman

and I feel

that being

a woman is what

USB Microphones: makes the company amazing

USB Microphones-1: because

the

strengths that we have in

communication

and tenacity [00:50:00]

USB Microphones: and

feeling empowered.

We also have a lot of family stories around, strong women, strong de women,

and. That generations

USB Microphones-1: of women have been

USB Microphones: strong and held up to challenges in our family. And the expectation around those

USB Microphones-1: stories and those, those family

stories,

USB Microphones: and I know Janae and I've talked about this in

USB Microphones-1: previous podcasts, is that we are strong women who

USB Microphones: overcome things.

And

USB Microphones-1: so I do

USB Microphones-3: think being

USB Microphones: woman

USB Microphones-1: was a benefit

and

not a

drawback at all. And I

USB Microphones-2: don't feel like there has

USB Microphones-3: been.

USB Microphones: pushback

USB Microphones-1: being a

woman business owner for myself or as part of Hilltop in that, I mean, we do work with men and women and

USB Microphones: I don't have never

felt condescending to

USB Microphones-3: by any of

USB Microphones-2: the

show

USB Microphones-1: to

USB Microphones: the retreat

USB Microphones-1: or any of the women.

USB Microphones: I

think there's

been a lot of respect around us

being

USB Microphones-1: I feel like for me,

USB Microphones: that's been a

very positive

USB Microphones-1: thing

and I haven't felt

negative

around Matt.

And do

USB Microphones: you think

USB Microphones-2: the relationships

USB Microphones-3: of being women,

USB Microphones-1: I know there's, that,

the [00:51:00] stereotype about like

being

catty or,

USB Microphones: bossy or,

USB Microphones-1: I

don't know, whatever

stereotypes

USB Microphones-3: with being a woman and I do think we've overcome

USB Microphones-1: that

USB Microphones-3: by doing

USB Microphones-1: the Dare to Lead and

stepping into the vulnerability

USB Microphones: and having

USB Microphones-1: conversations

around how parts of our

USB Microphones: personality,

USB Microphones-1: not

necessarily our gender, show

USB Microphones: up around a business.

USB Microphones-1: And, and

I don't know that that would matter

USB Microphones-3: what our gender was.

USB Microphones-1: are still

parts for

USB Microphones: our personality

worked around and been honest

USB Microphones-1: vulnerable about

USB Microphones: that

and turned

USB Microphones-1: them into

USB Microphones-2: Yeah. I

USB Microphones-3: would say the how

USB Microphones-2: has being

USB Microphones-3: a woman impacted starting a

USB Microphones-2: company is less of

USB Microphones-3: a thing

USB Microphones-2: for me

than it

USB Microphones-3: for the age that I was

USB Microphones-2: at when we started

USB Microphones-3: the I don't

USB Microphones-2: think

USB Microphones-3: I've ever felt judgment from a, from someone asking about

USB Microphones-2: the company or from someone

USB Microphones-3: that's been on retreat with us

USB Microphones-2: around

USB Microphones-3: being a woman, but I have definitely felt it around being the age

USB Microphones-2: that I'm at, whether

USB Microphones-3: it's genuine

USB Microphones-2: [00:52:00] surprise and acknowledgement of

USB Microphones-3: like, wow,

USB Microphones-2: that's amazing

USB Microphones-3: that you're doing that.

Or sometimes it's

USB Microphones-2: like, not direct, but

USB Microphones-3: hinted

USB Microphones-2: around of

USB Microphones-3: like, you're the one doing this. Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones: Like, are you

USB Microphones-1: really put together enough to do this? Did we

USB Microphones: make a mistake?

USB Microphones-2: It's almost like, we've just

USB Microphones-3: been, when we go to meet people on retreat, it's like we show up. And we're introducing ourselves and

USB Microphones-2: it's almost like sometimes

USB Microphones-3: there's a feeling in this space that's like,

USB Microphones-2: who else is coming?

USB Microphones-3: Uh, who else

USB Microphones-2: is? And sometimes

USB Microphones-3: that's relieved because a lot of times Penny's the last one to join us. And we're like, yeah, she's coming. We're still waiting on our counselor. She'll be here soon. and then when you get out of the car, they're almost like, oh, okay. I feel

USB Microphones-2: more

comfortable now.

USB Microphones-1: the

old

USB Microphones-3: one has arrived.

USB Microphones-1: Not

USB Microphones: even

necessarily

USB Microphones-1: that because I like

even, so our first one, it was

USB Microphones: just Tori

USB Microphones-1: Janay and I

USB Microphones: that went up.

USB Microphones-1: and yeah, there

USB Microphones: was

[00:53:00] lots of that. You guys are all

USB Microphones-1: too young, blah, blah,

USB Microphones: blah.

But even then, like after, even when

mom gets out of the car, they're,

I think they're all still really shocked

that we're all

USB Microphones-1: as young as what

USB Microphones: we are.

You are a little bit older, but

still like,

USB Microphones-1: I think they're expecting like,

USB Microphones: I don't know, like

50, 60 year old people.

I don't know. I have no

USB Microphones-3: have

USB Microphones-2: no

USB Microphones-3: idea what they're expecting, but it's not

USB Microphones-1: Yeah,

USB Microphones: not us. It's

USB Microphones-3: three little blonde

USB Microphones: girls.

USB Microphones-3: out. Hi.

USB Microphones-2: I find a lot of

USB Microphones-3: surprise too when they find out that, not that we keep it a secret,

USB Microphones-2: but when people make the

USB Microphones-3: connection that we are all related.

Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-2: I don't

USB Microphones-3: know. I

USB Microphones-2: wouldn't say it's overall negative, but it's,

USB Microphones-3: kind

USB Microphones-2: of shock, I

USB Microphones-1: guess.

USB Microphones-3: When people, but they go, okay, well that kind of makes sense.

USB Microphones-1: Like that fits in

USB Microphones: way.

USB Microphones-3: Yeah. I feel like a lot of times it

USB Microphones-2: slightly

USB Microphones-3: shifts

their

USB Microphones-2: perspective of things and in a

USB Microphones-3: way that it's

USB Microphones: like, we can't

USB Microphones-1: control that.

And

USB Microphones: it's not,

USB Microphones-3: like you said, it's not necessarily in a negative way. It's just you can, you can see how they're putting the pieces [00:54:00] together and you're like, oh, okay. I think their

USB Microphones-2: initial

USB Microphones-1: reaction

USB Microphones-3: is we

USB Microphones-1: it comes

across as

negative,

USB Microphones: especially

USB Microphones-3: cuz we've

USB Microphones: had some of

that,

USB Microphones-1: oh, so mom's in charge and then

you

guys all are just

USB Microphones: like the

USB Microphones-1: the

Minions

USB Microphones-3: Yeah. And then we

USB Microphones-2: we always

USB Microphones-1: get compliments towards second day to the end of it

USB Microphones: is

USB Microphones-1: amazing what

USB Microphones: a team you guys are and how you each

USB Microphones-1: have your separate roles and how that works out. We've

USB Microphones: gotten a comment with that with every retreat.

Mm-hmm.

of how

USB Microphones-1: we each

step into

our own powerful

USB Microphones: role

and our own

USB Microphones-1: strength

and how that's so

USB Microphones: appreciated.

USB Microphones-1: That, that's how it's ran in the, in

USB Microphones: the

USB Microphones-1: retreat business. It

always ends

USB Microphones-3: We've been explicitly asked on

USB Microphones-2: like day

USB Microphones-3: one, like who's in

USB Microphones-2: charge? Mm-hmm.

Who's making the decision?

USB Microphones-3: Like things like that. And it's like,

USB Microphones-2: well

USB Microphones-3: it depends

USB Microphones-2: on the area. We

USB Microphones-3: all have our separate

USB Microphones-2: separate roles.

USB Microphones-3: it's a yoga thing, I'm the end all say all on that. If

USB Microphones-2: it's a,

USB Microphones-3: for instance, like a curriculum or how we're teaching thing, then that would be Penny, for example.

So, It really [00:55:00] just depends

USB Microphones-2: and

USB Microphones-3: trying to explain that to people, they don't

USB Microphones: necessarily get Yeah. And they really don't get it until like the

USB Microphones-1: third day. Cuz you can

still feel like when we're

first up there

USB Microphones: and

even like

USB Microphones-1: day one, day two,

USB Microphones: they're still

USB Microphones-1: referring

a lot to mom or to you Janae because you're leading

the yoga.

Mm-hmm.

Um, so you guys are most of the time telling them what

the schedule looks like.

USB Microphones: so for

Tori and I, it

USB Microphones-1: almost just seems like

we're there just to like,

Mood

USB Microphones: do all the moving pieces thing. And they don't

USB Microphones-1: ask us

for like direction and stuff.

Like we don't know what's

going on when

USB Microphones: do.

But normally by

USB Microphones-1: the time partway through

USB Microphones: the second day, third day,

USB Microphones-1: it's shifted.

I shifted, like that also

shifted

USB Microphones-3: we

USB Microphones-1: do

a, uh, here's what everybody's

USB Microphones: role is and what

time we're gonna

it.

USB Microphones-3: And that's something

USB Microphones-2: that I think

USB Microphones-1: they see that

as wow,

USB Microphones: everybody, there are

USB Microphones-1: a lot of moving

parts that

the participants don't see that everybody is

USB Microphones: participating So I

USB Microphones-1: do

think being

transparent about that as

USB Microphones: a business has been

USB Microphones-1: [00:56:00] important in

helping all of the

different roles

USB Microphones: functions that are.

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm. Behind

USB Microphones-2: the scenes

USB Microphones: kind of

but

get, to

get

back to the women aspect

of it.

for me, especially the

USB Microphones-1: last retreat

USB Microphones: that we went to

USB Microphones-1: camping, one was

USB Microphones: the women's

USB Microphones-1: one and

USB Microphones: I actually took the trailer up by

myself.

and just a

lot

of shock in

USB Microphones-1: awe from a lot of the women that I would do

that by myself without

USB Microphones: a man or, really even any other

USB Microphones-1: person,

USB Microphones: was a little bit, but like, why

can't I do it? Like, just

USB Microphones-1: cuz I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't pull a

USB Microphones: trailer and park it

USB Microphones-1: do these things,

USB Microphones: by myself.

So there was that aspect

USB Microphones-1: it.

USB Microphones: And

USB Microphones-1: yeah, I

think a lot

USB Microphones: of like, well

USB Microphones-1: you're doing

USB Microphones: doing all this camping stuff by your, like there's no men. What happens if the tire goes flat

or what happens if this goes flat?

USB Microphones-1: So I definitely think there has been

USB Microphones: some of that.

USB Microphones-1: just

USB Microphones: more of, I think the fact that

USB Microphones-1: we're doing camping stuff.

USB Microphones: But

not more from the women's

USB Microphones-1: retreat than

USB Microphones: it

USB Microphones-2: has

been from

USB Microphones: couple's retreat.

It's

USB Microphones-3: more shock from the

USB Microphones-2: women.

USB Microphones-1: [00:57:00] Yeah. Yeah. Surprising. Definitely. I haven't thought about

USB Microphones-2: of

USB Microphones-3: moment,

USB Microphones: but definitely. Mm-hmm. But more

shock from women about

USB Microphones-3: women than the

USB Microphones: other side

USB Microphones-3: of that.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah. Which means we

USB Microphones-3: almost feel like it's such an awesome way to role model, like you can be doing

USB Microphones-2: this too. Mm-hmm. Right? It's,

USB Microphones-3: it's

USB Microphones-2: a mindset

USB Microphones-3: thing, not a ability or gender thing.

I feel like the same thing happens for women who do like solo traveling. Yeah. Yes. a a

USB Microphones: point too. Yeah, definitely

USB Microphones-1: a lot. Yeah.

USB Microphones: More

USB Microphones-1: of that

from

USB Microphones: other women for sure.

USB Microphones-1: for you,

USB Microphones: Tori?

USB Microphones-2: I

think

USB Microphones-3: you all have worded it very well, and

USB Microphones-2: I don't

USB Microphones-3: feel

USB Microphones-2: direct

USB Microphones-3: negative,

connotations towards

USB Microphones-2: being

USB Microphones-3: a woman, running a business.

And

USB Microphones-2: I think

USB Microphones-3: Penny, you worded it perfectly at the start, that it's actually a

USB Microphones-2: benefit

USB Microphones-3: to all be women. Mm-hmm. From the

USB Microphones: communication [00:58:00]

USB Microphones-3: I think

USB Microphones-2: all of the

USB Microphones-3: aspects, honestly, communication, empathy, support, multitasking. Yeah. I think there is some kind

USB Microphones-2: of

USB Microphones-3: connection between

USB Microphones-2: women and

USB Microphones-3: when that is embraced, it can be really beautiful and I think

USB Microphones-2: we embrace

USB Microphones-3: that well. Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah.

Instead

USB Microphones: of everybody always

USB Microphones-1: pointing out the negative side effects

of having a

whole

USB Microphones: bunch of women together, like their caddy and,

you know, all

USB Microphones-1: the stereotypes that

you mentioned,

USB Microphones: but

USB Microphones-1: when you really get a

group of

USB Microphones: women together that can work well and cohesively.

it is

USB Microphones-1: a beautiful,

USB Microphones: it's a

USB Microphones-1: beautiful thing to see.

And be a part of, we a

USB Microphones-3: out the best in

USB Microphones-1: Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. And we've

learned

USB Microphones-2: to do that better and better each agreed, each time we go on

USB Microphones-3: a retreat, or even each time after our weekly

USB Microphones-2: meetings where it's like,

oh, I, you know, you

USB Microphones-3: glean a little bit more information, you learn a little bit better.

Yeah. Each time, [00:59:00] this episode is sponsored by Hilltop Wellness.

USB Microphones-2: Hilltop Wellness is

a retreat and event

USB Microphones-3: company based in southeastern Idaho, and they provide online courses, weekend retreats, and day events for personal

USB Microphones-2: development

USB Microphones-3: and couples therapy. Hilltop Wellness invites you to join

USB Microphones-2: them on a

USB Microphones-3: Healing Nature retreat this summer.

You can get more information@www.hilltopwellness.net, and the link will be

USB Microphones-2: in the show

USB Microphones-3: notes for that website as well.

USB Microphones-2: So thank you Hilltop Wellness for

USB Microphones-3: sponsoring this

USB Microphones: episode.

USB Microphones-3: so we're on just

USB Microphones-2: the quick

USB Microphones-3: back half of our episode here, and we're going to go into our segment call. It takes two to tango. It's basically

USB Microphones-2: about

USB Microphones-3: how other people impact

USB Microphones-2: your behavior or how

USB Microphones-3: other relationships, how other

USB Microphones-2: people impact your So our question today is

USB Microphones-3: what boundaries

USB Microphones-2: did

USB Microphones-3: you have to

USB Microphones-2: set and

USB Microphones-3: work through around work life

balance?[01:00:00]

USB Microphones-1: this is

USB Microphones-3: something Janae and

USB Microphones-2: and I answered in

USB Microphones-1: one, so

USB Microphones: Tori

USB Microphones-1: gonna spearhead

USB Microphones-3: Yep. Personally,

USB Microphones-2: time boundaries

USB Microphones-3: for myself and knowing

USB Microphones-2: what time I need to

be done working to feel

USB Microphones-3: put together in my personal life. I would say that's the main thing that comes up for me.

USB Microphones-1: I definitely

USB Microphones: think so.

USB Microphones-1: For me,

USB Microphones: I'm

USB Microphones-1: always like, okay, I'm gonna do this, this, and

USB Microphones: this. And then I get

USB Microphones-1: distracted

with things

cuz I

USB Microphones: don't

have

USB Microphones-1: an office,

USB Microphones: with like home life

stuff

USB Microphones-1: or

USB Microphones: I'm sucked

USB Microphones-1: into a really good

USB Microphones: book. So having set hours of when I'm going

to be working on

USB Microphones-1: the business, and

USB Microphones: boundaries for with

USB Microphones-1: me and with my

USB Microphones: partner.

Like, he's

USB Microphones-1: like, well let's go

do this or whatever, and

I'm like, no. Like this is my set

time. I'm doing this stuff for the business.

definitely was important along with

USB Microphones: oh, I

USB Microphones-1: had another thing

in my brain. Just forgot.

USB Microphones-2: That's

okay.

USB Microphones: Dang

it. It was a

good thing too. Well, I guess I have a

USB Microphones-2: side

USB Microphones-3: comment on that.

You can [01:01:00] think about your

USB Microphones-2: other one. So

USB Microphones-3: I think that something that

USB Microphones-2: I like

that you

said that

USB Microphones: there's boundaries around

USB Microphones-3: still

putting in the time that you're

USB Microphones-2: you're doing

USB Microphones-3: because

all of us still work full-time jobs. So this is

USB Microphones-2: not, I don't like to

USB Microphones-3: call it a side hustle, but it

USB Microphones-2: is a side business

USB Microphones-3: that we

USB Microphones-2: are adding on our work

USB Microphones-3: hours already on top of our 40

USB Microphones-2: or 50 hour days.

Tina

USB Microphones-3: and I are also full-time students. So it's like this is a passion project for us. We really want to

USB Microphones-2: have it

be successful and

USB Microphones-3: grow. But also it's like how do you budget

USB Microphones-2: your time around putting.

USB Microphones-3: Enough energy into the business that you feel like it is growing in the way you want and you're completing tasks that you wanna be held accountable for, for the team.

But then also, like what Tori was saying, how do you not

USB Microphones-2: put so many

USB Microphones-3: hours into it that you're burning yourself out? [01:02:00] Mm-hmm. And it's taking away from the other aspects of your life. That's a huge thing to balance when

just in general. But then it's really big to balance when it's our, we all have full-time

USB Microphones-2: jobs on top of it.

USB Microphones-1: So.

Yeah, so my other point

USB Microphones: was,

USB Microphones-1: where we are all family, making sure that

USB Microphones: when we're together

we don't just talk about business.

Oh yeah.

Um, I feel like we

USB Microphones-1: can fall

USB Microphones: into that a lot in checking

USB Microphones-1: ourselves. I feel like we've gotten

USB Microphones: better about that. There's definitely

times where

USB Microphones-1: we haven't, and then like it just turns

into like

USB Microphones: a whole business

discussion versus

USB Microphones-1: being able

to shut that off and

not

USB Microphones: go

to business

conversations and like

USB Microphones-1: when

we're doing

family things and

personal things.

USB Microphones-3: Yep.

Yep. That's a good

USB Microphones-2: one.

USB Microphones-3: I

also have

USB Microphones-2: to make sure I prioritize spending quality time with

USB Microphones-3: my partner on days when

USB Microphones-2: we have

USB Microphones-3: a meeting later in the evening.

USB Microphones-2: Those [01:03:00] few hours in between

USB Microphones-3: working during the day and then our, our evening hilltop wellness meeting, make sure that I'm fully attentive to him and that we do get quality time throughout that day and I know that

USB Microphones-2: it's important

for him

USB Microphones-3: to have that quality time.

So just make sure I'm also present in the

USB Microphones-2: those moments

USB Microphones-3: as well.

Mm-hmm. E else, it can feel

USB Microphones-2: like I just did

USB Microphones-3: a full day

USB Microphones-2: of work

USB Microphones-3: into an evening

USB Microphones-2: of work

then

going to

USB Microphones-3: sleep, and I'm not gonna have that connection time with my partner until the

USB Microphones-2: next day. Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-3: And that's

USB Microphones-1: And

USB Microphones-2: sometimes if you miss that connection time, it can leak into the next day with some resentment

USB Microphones-3: and distance and it can be easy to

USB Microphones-2: fall into

USB Microphones-3: being disconnected.

USB Microphones-2: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-3: I

USB Microphones-1: just a plug for all of our partners

USB Microphones-3: the amazing support that they

USB Microphones: have

given

USB Microphones-1: we're

USB Microphones-2: learning the

USB Microphones: the

[01:04:00] business and

USB Microphones-1: sacrificing time and,

and for all of them seeing

USB Microphones: the dream

that it is,

USB Microphones-1: I don't know,

side hustle. I

USB Microphones-3: like

USB Microphones-2: that you're

USB Microphones-1: I don't know if that's the right word to me.

Like that developing business

as we're

USB Microphones: developing a

USB Microphones-2: and

USB Microphones: also working full-time, that all of them see

USB Microphones-3: the vision and the support

USB Microphones-2: and are willing

USB Microphones-1: to invest

USB Microphones: in our dream

USB Microphones-2: do

USB Microphones: that. Because I

USB Microphones-1: don't,

USB Microphones: you don't go into

USB Microphones-1: this alone

USB Microphones: and we all have that back backstops and back support

USB Microphones-1: and to

give a shout out to our partners who are

USB Microphones: that for us.

Mm-hmm. And how much appreciation we

USB Microphones-1: have around that. And if you are starting

USB Microphones: a business

USB Microphones-1: recognizing you don't

USB Microphones: go into that

alone mm-hmm. That there's a

whole support system behind that. Yeah, for sure.

I'd,

USB Microphones-1: that is important.

USB Microphones: I'd be

USB Microphones-1: a hot

USB Microphones: mess without my

hubby so.

USB Microphones-1: So shout out to our, our partners, be best.

And if

your partner

starting a business also,

USB Microphones: a

USB Microphones-3: good job to

USB Microphones-2: you for

being that

USB Microphones: to support and, and

step into that role. That I'm

USB Microphones-1: sure isn't easy. I

USB Microphones: haven't had the opportunity

to step into that

role

USB Microphones-1: as

I've

USB Microphones: [01:05:00] the business

USB Microphones-1: owner,

but

USB Microphones: I, I so appreciate my partner in all the ways that he shows up for

done

that.

Yeah.

USB Microphones-3: It's like how do you balance

USB Microphones-2: being supportive

while

also, not

USB Microphones-3: feeling like resentment towards towards it,

USB Microphones-2: taking time

USB Microphones-3: or even the fear that

USB Microphones-2: comes up around it, like mm-hmm.

We don't

have a huge

USB Microphones-3: amount of stakes.

USB Microphones-2: But there is, I was trying to explain

USB Microphones-3: this to my partner actually,

USB Microphones-2: where he was like,

USB Microphones-3: well, I mean, worst comes to worst. Like, what's the worst thing that could happen? Like, you haven't, it's not like you have a

USB Microphones-2: significant financial investment

USB Microphones-3: that is gonna ruin

USB Microphones-2: you

USB Microphones-3: or anything.

And he was trying to say that to comfort me, like, the worst thing that could happen is this. And I was trying to explain

USB Microphones-2: to him, it was like, it's

USB Microphones-3: not even the financial, or even the time that has been put into it, but it's just like the dream, the confidence that you put into yourself

USB Microphones-2: of like, no, I can do this.

To have that.

going back to

USB Microphones-3: our first

USB Microphones-2: question, obliterated.

USB Microphones: Obliterated.

USB Microphones-2: [01:06:00] It's

so painful. It's like, it's not

USB Microphones-3: the cost

USB Microphones-2: or the high stakes

USB Microphones-3: of financial stakes.

USB Microphones-2: It's the emotional stakes of that. Yeah.

USB Microphones-3: And, and if you've never stepped into that, and if you've

USB Microphones-2: never taken the vulnerability

and

USB Microphones-3: the bravery to have to do that yourself, I don't know if you fully understand

USB Microphones-2: what that's like.

USB Microphones-3: Yeah. Trying to explain that to him.

USB Microphones-2: What's difficult. Yeah.

USB Microphones-1: And I would say for

USB Microphones: my partner, he

USB Microphones-1: has had to ask the financial

USB Microphones: because

the financial backing

USB Microphones-1: for

USB Microphones: business

USB Microphones-1: has come from

my other business,

USB Microphones-3: right?

Mm-hmm. And

USB Microphones: so

for him, he has had

to ask

those

USB Microphones-1: questions around,

USB Microphones: What does this look

like?

Does this

impact us?

How does this impact us

as a family?

And a lot

of reassurance for him

USB Microphones-1: around,

what that looks like

USB Microphones: and the trust that

financially

USB Microphones-1: I have things

USB Microphones: balanced. So I, I do think

USB Microphones-1: there's

that emotional

piece, which I think

USB Microphones: he's a little better

USB Microphones-1: at. Maybe not

USB Microphones-3: better,

USB Microphones-2: but he

USB Microphones-3: is

USB Microphones-2: good

USB Microphones-1: at understanding

USB Microphones: because he's

watched me

USB Microphones-2: do

USB Microphones-3: with

USB Microphones: the other business, but the, the financial

USB Microphones-1: piece for this

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-1: So

USB Microphones: definitely appreciate

his support [01:07:00] around

that

Yeah.

and

USB Microphones-1: it would be fun

USB Microphones-2: if

USB Microphones-3: we

USB Microphones-1: could convince

them to do a podcast and

USB Microphones: you could

listen to

USB Microphones-1: what is it like to be

USB Microphones: the support

USB Microphones-1: woman

USB Microphones: because they built their

business.

USB Microphones-2: That would

USB Microphones-3: be interesting because

USB Microphones: be a, yeah, it would be an

interesting perspective

of the experience that

USB Microphones-1: they're having

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm.

A completely different

USB Microphones-2: All right. We're ready

USB Microphones-3: spin the wheel. Who wants to go first?

USB Microphones: I, right

USB Microphones-1: here.

USB Microphones-3: Don't all jump at

USB Microphones-2: at once.

USB Microphones: Oh,

I got a nine,

USB Microphones-1: so it's an odd

number. What am I doing?

USB Microphones: Um, what,

what do

USB Microphones-1: do you do to

take care of your

USB Microphones: body during

USB Microphones-1: work hours?

USB Microphones: Uh, this has been one

of those battles for

USB Microphones-1: me

USB Microphones: about

USB Microphones-1: work

life balance that

I have been trying

USB Microphones: to figure out. I'm currently still figuring

out.

USB Microphones-1: so I have started

USB Microphones: doing

yoga with

Jenae and

the gratitude

practice.

Tuesdays

and

USB Microphones-1: Thursday nights,

USB Microphones: [01:08:00] uh, which has helped immensely.

USB Microphones-1: I have definitely

USB Microphones: been feeling tight and stressed

USB Microphones-1: in

my body

USB Microphones: along with

USB Microphones-1: now that it's

nice

USB Microphones: outside

I have,

USB Microphones-1: uh, made it

a goal to

USB Microphones: start getting out and walking my dog,

USB Microphones-1: every

afternoon on my

lunch break

USB Microphones: in

between

USB Microphones-1: my other job.

that's how I'm trying to

implement that.

USB Microphones-2: Nice.

USB Microphones-3: All right. To. Oh, another odd number. Okay. What do you do to take

USB Microphones-2: care of

USB Microphones-3: your body during work hours? I try to use my standup

USB Microphones-2: desk as much

USB Microphones-3: as I can. I find myself not able to hold a supportive posture for my

USB Microphones-2: neck and

USB Microphones-3: shoulders. If I'm sitting all day, definitely using my standup desk and reminding myself to stretch and raise

USB Microphones-2: my arms above

my head, move my shoulders

USB Microphones-3: around, and when my body needs a break away from the desk, I work in [01:09:00] an office.

USB Microphones-2: So I get

USB Microphones-3: up and I walk around, get some water,

USB Microphones-2: look at the weather, and then

USB Microphones-3: that helps mentally as well go back to the desk, feel refreshed and ready to get back to work. Yeah, so taking, giving yourself permission to take breaks and

USB Microphones-2: step away.

Mm-hmm. Definitely.

USB Microphones-3: I'm

curious how everyone takes care of your bodies when we're on retreat.

USB Microphones-1: That's hard,

USB Microphones: right? I doesn't happen.

USB Microphones-1: No, I

do think that's a, that's a conversation we have. and sometimes

USB Microphones: I get in the door

after retreat and

USB Microphones-1: just

USB Microphones: like burst

USB Microphones-1: into

tears. And

so I think

USB Microphones-3: my

partner is expecting that need to

USB Microphones-1: care of me, uh, because it's a lot, it's a lot of emotion and

that's

a lot of holding a lot of

expectations and, and

wonder and

worry.

USB Microphones-2: so

USB Microphones-3: I think

USB Microphones: some things I

USB Microphones-1: have found to

USB Microphones: care

USB Microphones-1: of my body when I'm on retreat, is taking a walk away if we need to, if

USB Microphones: we're outside,

USB Microphones-1: if we're [01:10:00] in, I

do still try and

USB Microphones: take a walk

USB Microphones-1: or I'll

USB Microphones: go to whatever space

we have if we're in a cabin retreat,

go to the room,

USB Microphones-1: um,

making sure to

USB Microphones: take time

to take

my medication,

USB Microphones-1: making sure to drink water.

Definitely taking time to

USB Microphones: stretch. One of the places we use with

USB Microphones-1: a cabin retreat

USB Microphones: has a massage chair and I take

USB Microphones-1: turn

USB Microphones: in the massage chair at least one

USB Microphones-1: time

USB Microphones: while we're there.

USB Microphones-3: I think Supportive team

USB Microphones: that I have. If I

USB Microphones-3: do need to take

USB Microphones: break or I like disappear

USB Microphones-1: into a space,

USB Microphones: you guys run.

USB Microphones-1: Interference

really

good for

USB Microphones: me. things that they're like,

I, you know,

USB Microphones-1: take a minute or, uh, what do you need

USB Microphones: Penny for?

USB Microphones-1: hold

USB Microphones: off for a minute and ask for that

in a minute. Or is that something we

USB Microphones-1: can step

USB Microphones: into and answer for you? So

USB Microphones-1: I do think awesome,

USB Microphones: supportive team around that.

For find

USB Microphones-3: myself using Advil and

USB Microphones-2: ensuring that I take

USB Microphones-3: advantage of all of the yoga

USB Microphones-2: sessions.

USB Microphones-3: They really help throughout retreat. Yeah. When we're doing our [01:11:00] couples massage I like that cuz Tori massages

USB Microphones: me,

USB Microphones-3: which

is helpful. One thing that we had to set a boundary around is, I don't know if Tori falls into this, but Tina Penny and I.

I'll

USB Microphones-2: function on

USB Microphones-3: nighttime hours. Like we, it hits like nine o'clock and I notice in my own body I start peaking. Yeah. I start going back up. And so that can lead to us staying up until

USB Microphones-2: three,

USB Microphones-3: four in the morning, having conversations, figuring things out.

USB Microphones-2: And then you have to

USB Microphones-3: be up at six to start prepping things for the next day.

And it's like, we did that quite

USB Microphones-2: a few times. And then it

USB Microphones-3: was like, okay, we need to have a hard boundary around this.

USB Microphones-2: And that was

something that it's like, I

USB Microphones-3: am so grumpy, mean, emotional. Mm-hmm. If I don't have enough sleep. And so recognizing that that wasn't a personality trait of mine, I started thinking that I was just an angry person.

USB Microphones-2: I'm like,

USB Microphones-3: Nope, it's not just tired. I'm [01:12:00] just tired. Yeah. So it's like giving permission to go to bed

USB Microphones-2: when

USB Microphones-3: we need to go to bed and saying we can

USB Microphones-2: table this for another time.

USB Microphones-3: I think is a big one for me.

USB Microphones-2: And then I notice that

USB Microphones-3: being able to step away or step outside of whatever circle

USB Microphones-2: our participants are

USB Microphones-3: in.

Because

USB Microphones-2: if, I don't

know

USB Microphones-3: if

this is

USB Microphones-2: something you guys experience, but I

USB Microphones-3: feel like when

USB Microphones-2: you're

USB Microphones-3: in that leadership position,

USB Microphones-2: I

USB Microphones-3: feel like people are constantly watching me. Mm-hmm. So being able to step away, or

USB Microphones-2: as Penny said, like

USB Microphones-3: go into another room

USB Microphones-2: if we're at one of our

USB Microphones-3: cabin retreats, or go into our tent or take a walk if we're

USB Microphones-2: in the mountains.

And just the

USB Microphones-3: feeling of

USB Microphones-2: relief when it's like,

okay, I don't have to be Janae yoga teacher. I don't have

USB Microphones-3: be

USB Microphones-2: Janae leader. I don't have to be

USB Microphones-3: Janae in charge and know the things I can just

USB Microphones-2: release and relax [01:13:00] for. Like,

even if

USB Microphones-3: it's just a few

USB Microphones-2: minutes, but it's

USB Microphones-3: like people aren't looking at me, people aren't expecting anything of me right now, and I can

USB Microphones-2: just

let go.

Mm-hmm. That's a

USB Microphones-3: big one for

Yeah. When we have downtime, I

USB Microphones-2: try to make sure I use

USB Microphones-3: it as downtime and not,

USB Microphones-2: huddle and decompress with the team. Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-3: But

USB Microphones-2: take the

USB Microphones-3: hour or so just for myself and relax and

USB Microphones-2: take that cuz it, it

USB Microphones-3: can be a lot to be kind of in the

USB Microphones-1: the

USB Microphones: spotlight

USB Microphones-3: all weekend.

USB Microphones-2: Mm-hmm.

USB Microphones-3: Tina,

how about you? On your treat? What do you do for you?

USB Microphones: I

USB Microphones-1: take

lots of deep breaths. How about that?

That's great. I think that's

USB Microphones-2: a great answer.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah.

USB Microphones: I just feel like,

USB Microphones-1: and I

USB Microphones: know

USB Microphones-1: I've kind of put

myself

USB Microphones: into

this because I want to be a part of

the

USB Microphones-1: teaching role

USB Microphones: and the leader

role and

USB Microphones-1: not just

USB Microphones: in the kitchen,

USB Microphones-1: but taking that on

USB Microphones: and being the

one

USB Microphones-1: who's in charge

USB Microphones: the meals.

USB Microphones-1: I feel

USB Microphones: like I'm

USB Microphones-1: either [01:14:00] teaching

or I'm helping

USB Microphones: meal prep.

USB Microphones-1: Or

doing

USB Microphones: the meals or I'm

USB Microphones-1: getting asked,

USB Microphones: okay, so what do

USB Microphones-1: we need

for this

meal? Or this,

which I'm

totally okay

USB Microphones: with. Like I

USB Microphones-1: love cuz I

USB Microphones: don't want

to give up,

USB Microphones-1: uh, either of those.

USB Microphones: but I feel like there's less time,

or at least there has

USB Microphones-1: been.

I know the last

USB Microphones: couple of retreats we've tried

USB Microphones-1: to work that in and so I've

been getting a little bit

USB Microphones: more of a

USB Microphones-1: break. And so I

USB Microphones: do

walk

USB Microphones-1: and stretch and if I don't have that

USB Microphones: time, if I'm in

the kitchen

USB Microphones-1: area

by myself, I just make sure

and like take a minute and like grab

USB Microphones: something to ground

USB Microphones-1: myself and just do some deep

breaths,

USB Microphones: to

take that time for me.

Cause

USB Microphones-1: I'm like, okay,

USB Microphones: it's fine. You've

USB Microphones-1: got 30

USB Microphones: seconds. Just

USB Microphones-1: do

USB Microphones: some

deep breathing for

you.

but I do appreciate us

as a team building

some

USB Microphones-1: time in around

USB Microphones: that, or you

USB Microphones-1: guys coming up to ask me,

USB Microphones: you know, you

USB Microphones-1: look, you're like, what

USB Microphones: can I do for

you? So you can go take five

minutes?

USB Microphones-1: Mm-hmm. or

USB Microphones: if you're like, what do you need?

USB Microphones-1: just need five minutes to

USB Microphones: go brush my

hair and brush my teeth,

USB Microphones-1: because that's a real thing that

USB Microphones: happens in my world on

USB Microphones-1: retreat days.

USB Microphones: so[01:15:00]

yeah,

USB Microphones-1: I, I

USB Microphones: guess accepting, the,

USB Microphones-1: the help

USB Microphones: is a boundary for me.

USB Microphones-3: Yeah.

USB Microphones: To,

USB Microphones-1: and giving

USB Microphones: myself permission to

USB Microphones-1: take

that space and not

USB Microphones: always having to be

USB Microphones-1: on.

USB Microphones-3: All right.

Rapid fire. Ready, set, go. I'm gonna ask you all, what's

USB Microphones-2: a quick

USB Microphones-3: best memory

USB Microphones-2: on

USB Microphones-1: or

USB Microphones-2: a funny incident.

USB Microphones-3: I have one already so you guys can think. My funniest thing was we were trying, it was our first time taking the

USB Microphones-2: trailer up on our camping retreat,

USB Microphones-3: and we needed to be able to put more water

USB Microphones-2: in our water holding tank,

USB Microphones-3: and we didn't have

USB Microphones-2: a pump.

USB Microphones-3: And so

USB Microphones-2: I was

USB Microphones-3: back there trying to, you know, figure out with the jugs that we had, if there was a way to pour the water from the jugs into this hole that's

USB Microphones-2: like, just the angles was weird. And

USB Microphones-3: so there wasn't a

USB Microphones-2: whole lot of water happening.

USB Microphones-3: And [01:16:00] Tori just kind of, I can't remember if you communicated

USB Microphones-2: what was happening, but

USB Microphones-3: she just disappeared.

And then she came back with like, she had cut a

USB Microphones-2: Tupperware

and

USB Microphones-3: rolled it into a funnel, found pliers

USB Microphones-2: and

USB Microphones-3: plied holes into the side of it and wired it together. Incredible. It was incredible. And she was like, all right,

USB Microphones-2: try

this. And we

USB Microphones-3: did it. And it is, it wasn't perfect. It was not perfect, but it was definitely better and it got the job done.

And it was just so funny because.

USB Microphones-2: I almost

USB Microphones-3: felt like we can't throw this away now. We have to like keep this

USB Microphones-2: as a memorial of

USB Microphones-3: our ingenuity and our

USB Microphones-2: tenacity.

USB Microphones-3: And I was like, we could have given

USB Microphones-2: up, but it

was like Tori

USB Microphones-3: was like, we're just gonna MacGyver something together and we totally made it work.

But what was so funny about that was we had a participant that we didn't know their group was

USB Microphones-2: over and he heard

USB Microphones-3: us giggling behind the trailer and he like walked around the side and Tori and I are like covered in dirt and mud and water. I'm holding this [01:17:00] giant jug of water trying to pour it into the trailer.

She's holding this funnel, a good portion of the water's falling onto the ground, half, probably

USB Microphones-2: half of the water. And he

USB Microphones-3: peeks his head around and we both just like deer in the headlights look up and we're

USB Microphones-2: like,

USB Microphones-3: look away. Yeah, it was, I like

USB Microphones-2: that is

USB Microphones-3: one of my

USB Microphones-2: favorite memories

USB Microphones-3: for sure. So far. It was just

USB Microphones-2: so funny.

USB Microphones-3: Mm-hmm. So,

can

USB Microphones-1: of a

lot of really funny ones of

USB Microphones-2: funny

USB Microphones-3: moments where you're like, oh,

USB Microphones-1: okay. And things that have

caused

USB Microphones: us to change our,

USB Microphones-1: uh,

USB Microphones-2: policies and procedures around some things

USB Microphones-3: that have happened. Oh, mm-hmm.

Um, but one of my, I think, favorite moments from retreat is

USB Microphones-2: one

USB Microphones: of our,

I, I don't remember.

I think it was the women's retreat.

USB Microphones-3: We were doing,

USB Microphones-1: uh,

USB Microphones: sunrise yoga. And as the sun is coming up in the morning and

everybody is

USB Microphones-2: in, I think we

USB Microphones: were

USB Microphones-1: in SVA or

USB Microphones: we were in,

I'm not, I think that's the

USB Microphones-3: place we were in.

USB Microphones: but the, so the sun

USB Microphones-1: is coming

up and it's

USB Microphones-3: beautifully

USB Microphones-2: [01:18:00] peeking over

USB Microphones: the trees

USB Microphones-2: and

USB Microphones-3: we have

USB Microphones: wolves hauling across the river and it was just such a beautiful

USB Microphones-1: moment

USB Microphones: of

USB Microphones-3: hearing nature and feeling nature.

USB Microphones-2: And the

USB Microphones-3: river

USB Microphones-1: is

USB Microphones: rushing and,

USB Microphones-2: and, and

you could

feel

USB Microphones-1: everybody's

USB Microphones: calm and peace of

waking

up and being

USB Microphones-1: in nature

USB Microphones: and

USB Microphones-3: having,

and,

USB Microphones-1: just having that connection that I loved, that

I will,

USB Microphones: will cherish that moment forever of. Of what? An

USB Microphones-1: almost spiritual moment that

USB Microphones: was of peace

USB Microphones-3: and

browning

USB Microphones-1: and connection.

USB Microphones-2: That was beautiful for and for the whole

USB Microphones-3: group. Yeah. That's nice.

My favorite

moment is a lot

USB Microphones-2: less meaningful, I guess,

USB Microphones-3: than penny shirt. Well, mine was

USB Microphones-2: a funny final story,

so,

but

USB Microphones-3: we had done our first winter retreat and we wanted to take participants snowshoeing or CrossCountry skiing.

USB Microphones-2: And Janae

was the only

USB Microphones-3: one. No, not this story. [01:19:00] Janae was the only one of us who had CrossCountry skied, and she also had her own skis. So two participants.

USB Microphones-2: Rented,

USB Microphones-3: rented

USB Microphones-2: skis, and

USB Microphones-3: Jeanette took them

USB Microphones-2: on a

guided

ski trip

and I only had snowshoes, so I kind of went off by myself

USB Microphones-3: and Snowshoe. And when we met back up, I said, how did it go?

USB Microphones-2: And Jenny, he said,

USB Microphones-3: oh, it went fine.

USB Microphones-2: And

then later

that

USB Microphones-3: night in private, she explained to me that it did not go

USB Microphones-2: fine. She.

USB Microphones-3: Gone down a hill and ran into our part, ran into our participant at the bottom of the

USB Microphones-2: hill,

and

USB Microphones-3: then it was kind of a another pile on as the participant

USB Microphones-2: behind her

USB Microphones-3: then ran into the

USB Microphones-2: pile of

her

USB Microphones-3: and the other participant.

So madness. I don't know if I've ever laughed that

USB Microphones-2: hard

USB Microphones-3: in my whole life. [01:20:00]

USB Microphones-2: Every time we

USB Microphones-3: tell that story,

USB Microphones-2: I have to

USB Microphones-3: try really hard not to like laugh so hard that it makes me cry. Yeah, it was so funny. And just I've, that day I felt shame. I felt embarrassed.

USB Microphones-1: I

felt

USB Microphones-3: I felt

like,

USB Microphones-2: and it was

USB Microphones-3: also funny, like it was just such a weird combination of emotions where I was like, this just, it went horribly

USB Microphones-2: wrong

and

USB Microphones-3: I felt like, oh man, this is so bad.

USB Microphones-2: Like, what

USB Microphones-3: a great leader I am. I'm gonna plow into someone on skis and take them out And, um, yeah, just. Now it's just funny. But definitely in the moment I was like, I did so bad. It was so bad. And

USB Microphones: Yes.

USB Microphones-3: yeah. That's a good one. That's

USB Microphones-2: good memory to me. Yeah,

I feel like

USB Microphones-3: we talk about this one a lot

USB Microphones-2: and I'm never the

USB Microphones-3: one to bring

USB Microphones-2: it up cuz

USB Microphones-3: I feel like I've actually,

USB Microphones-2: you've removed it, I blocked it outta

USB Microphones-3: my memory and you can tell the story so much better than I can retell it.

But if you [01:21:00] wanna hear the full version of that

USB Microphones-2: story, you'll have

to come

USB Microphones-3: retreat with us because

it's a long one. It is. It is a long one. I tried to summarize it to see my hand gestures. Yeah.

USB Microphones: and facial expressions.

USB Microphones-1: have to

USB Microphones-2: able to

USB Microphones-3: get the full appreciation of that

USB Microphones-2: story.

So you'll have to come on

USB Microphones-3: to hear

USB Microphones-2: that one. What

USB Microphones-3: is a good

one?

USB Microphones: Oh gosh.

I've been sitting here

trying to think

USB Microphones-1: of a favorite. It's so hard.

There's

USB Microphones: so many good,

USB Microphones-1: experiences.

Uh,

does it have to be from a

USB Microphones: retreat

USB Microphones-3: No, it can just be

USB Microphones-2: about the

USB Microphones-1: business. Uh,

I think

USB Microphones: one

of my favorite experiences so far

is when you

USB Microphones-1: and I went up

USB Microphones: and

just

USB Microphones-1: did the whole camping experience by

ourselves. Mm-hmm. Uh,

USB Microphones: a

USB Microphones-1: was only the second time

USB Microphones: I'd ever been camping

USB Microphones-1: without mom or grandma.

So that was

USB Microphones-3: yeah, it

USB Microphones: secondly

terrify learning her. And then, um, just

USB Microphones-1: like,

yeah, the learning how to cook over

USB Microphones: the fire and us laughing and then that bird dive

USB Microphones-1: bombing

our head.

USB Microphones: [01:22:00] Spooky.

USB Microphones-1: It was so spooky

USB Microphones: and I

just feel like it was a really good bonding experience for us. And you

USB Microphones-1: and

I have always been

USB Microphones: super close.

and then we

got married and

USB Microphones-1: moved away and, you know, distanced

and change and I felt like we

had definitely grown apart a little bit. Not, you know, a whole time, but definitely.

Not what we

were. And I definitely,

USB Microphones: feel like that was one

USB Microphones-1: thing that has started to bring

USB Microphones: us back closer together. And it was an experience that I will cherish forever.

USB Microphones-2: Yeah,

USB Microphones-3: me too. It was awesome. And also just so many funny too.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah. It was an adventure. It

USB Microphones-3: was definitely one of those where that,

USB Microphones-2: uh, big

USB Microphones-3: sister little sister relationship really came out where I was like, well, how do we do this? And you're like, I don't

USB Microphones-2: know. And

I'm

USB Microphones-1: what

USB Microphones: do you mean you don't know?

USB Microphones-1: You're supposed to know How are we

USB Microphones: we gonna

cook the pizza

and hold

USB Microphones-1: it

on? There's getting burnt.

USB Microphones-3: It's just [01:23:00] wild. Yeah, it was funny, but also really cool, like just being out there. We were, there was no. Camping around us.

USB Microphones-2: It was

USB Microphones-3: just so quiet and it really

USB Microphones-2: felt like we

USB Microphones-3: were alone in the whole world. And it was just, it was just the two

USB Microphones-2: of

USB Microphones-1: and

it was, and my dog

USB Microphones: really cool.

USB Microphones-1: Yeah. Yeah,

USB Microphones-2: It

USB Microphones-3: was cool. That was a really cool Well, all right, that is the end of our show. We hope you really appreciated the difference in perspective. Maybe appreciated getting

USB Microphones-2: to hear some

USB Microphones-3: new voices if you're tired of Penny and I home, new Voice. so we definitely appreciate not only

you

listeners

for joining us, but also thank you for Tina and Tori for taking the

USB Microphones-2: time to,

USB Microphones-3: come on the podcast and share your experiences and share your thoughts and vulnerability around these topics.

so thank you so much for coming.

USB Microphones: We

USB Microphones-3: want to remind you that.

USB Microphones-2: We have [01:24:00] a Patreon,

USB Microphones-3: which if

USB Microphones-2: you want

USB Microphones-3: some bonus content that goes along with every episode,

USB Microphones-2: you

can

USB Microphones-3: head over to Patreon and

USB Microphones-2: check that out.

USB Microphones-3: And honestly, this might be a, just a fun one to share with someone, whether you

USB Microphones-2: have

USB Microphones-3: someone that's

USB Microphones-2: trying to start their own

USB Microphones-3: business, or you have someone that's going through some funny family

USB Microphones-2: dynamics, or if you just wanna send

USB Microphones-3: someone a good laugh

USB Microphones-2: about,

USB Microphones-3: about people plowing into people

USB Microphones-2: for skiing,

USB Microphones-3: um, you know, share the episode.

And yeah, I

USB Microphones-2: think that's it. Do you guys have any final things you wanna say? All right.

USB Microphones-3: Well, we'll catch you next time. Bye.

USB Microphones: bye.

USB Microphones-1: Bye.

Janae Larsen

Ep. 8 Redefining Success and Building a Women-Owned Business

Ep. 9 Breaking Down Imposter Syndrome

Ep. 7 Becoming Business Owners and Relationships in the Workplace