I am no longer a subscriber to this belief and have noticed a great amount of damage coming from the need to keep a conflict going long past the point of emotional and physical exhaustion. Science does provide support for not holding on to anger while asleep while researching relationships and what we know about the nervous system supports not needing to resolve conflict in the moment and allowing sleep to happen. Let’s talk about the pros and cons of these two opposing ideas.  

I definitely feel the change of season in the core of my body and mind. There is a natural shift and drive for many of us to set new goals and ride the wave of energy sweeping toward us. I wanted to share a couple of tips for moving those goals forward.  

The topic of soulmates is interesting to me because I do believe in soulmates. Not the idea of each person being destined and meant for one single person we are seeking to find, or the idea of having a split soul that unites when you find, “the one”. I do believe and have experienced the moment when you click with a soulmate, and you find yourself engaged in conversation and stepping into a more vulnerable space quicker due to being so comfortable.  

Chemistry Means they are the One….. A great amount of mysticism and magic is mixed in with romantic attachment. Research has shown this is far from the truth. What we do know about finding the one is, we choose a partner based on a list of their positives and negatives, choosing the person who has negatives we can deal with and positives we admire.  

Relationships need to, at the very core, be safe for all parties involved. Any time of not feeling safe in a relationship needs to be examined and changes need to be made. This does not always mean one partner is wrong and one is right. However, the situation needs to be examined from both perspectives in order to find safety. This is where accountability is paramount!

Relationships are built upon connection, these connections start small in the beginning stages of a relationship with a smile, a text, and a brush of hands, and then move into increased levels of intimacy. Intimacy in a relationship is not about sex! Intimacy is the feeling of closeness, connection, and support we get from another person wherein we feel safe to explore the thoughts, experiences, and emotions which come from being human.

“You and your partner should love all the same hobbies!” Wow, this is a pet peeve of mine!! Hearing couples talk about how they need to join each other in everything and give up their own hobbies to be a “good couple” is VERY WRONG! We are still individuals within the relationship, not just a couple.

Most of the people you date will have traits you can build a connected relationship on and traits you will have conflict over. No one makes it to adulthood without scars, beliefs, values, and set ideals. These are not all going to align perfectly with our own ideals. The most important statement is, ‘I chose you,’ and I chose you every day after that because I admire the person you are and I am fond of you despite our differences.

A bit of information about sound baths before our March event.

I have been thinking a lot about roles as I am soon to be taking on a new one as a grandmother and as with any new beginning this comes with questions about what this role means. I have found myself asking about how I want this to look, what can I give? What does a balance between my wants and others’ wants look like, and how to gracefully allow time and processing for this change? I have come to some insights on this journey I want to share with all of you this week about my values, my insights, and my supports.

When we let the fear stop us from showing up with all our emotions, we deny others the choice to help, and the opportunity to learn how to make repairs, and there isn’t growth in the relationship. This leads you to ultimately feel hurt, unsupported, and dissatisfied in your relationships. So, this week we are going to focus on a 5- step technique called emotion coaching so we can have tools during times when emotions happen. You can send these tips to the other people in your life so they can learn how to be there and coach you when you need it too.

Regardless of how we feel about it, the writing is on the wall; we need other people. Our brains are built for connection and in order to be happy, have a longer life, and feel less pain we need to be connected often and in a way that refuels and feeds us. Social fitness is a term used to describe the health of our social connections and interactions. So, while we are focused on New Year’s resolutions let’s not forget our social fitness in order to improve our well-being and increase our happiness.

How time, family, and life events create a natural ebb and flow for you and your partner.

I want to focus on how to recover and the steps you can take to keep your well-being and resiliency moving into the new year. Here are a few tips on what Janae, Tina, Tori, and myself, do and recommend for recovery.

Winter blues got you down? You aren’t the only one. You might be experiencing Seasonal Affect Disorder or SADS.

How to give the most precious gift to your loved ones this year.

How to not only survive but thrive through your holiday season.

Finding a therapist can be difficult here are some tips to getting the right fit.

How do we show up in our relationships when our partners have a mental illness?

A part of the journey to creating wholehearted, vulnerable, and courageous change