Blog
Life Permission Slips
A part of the journey to creating wholehearted, vulnerable, and courageous change
Non-verbal Communication
The words we speak account for about 35% of what is communicated. What about the other 65%?
A Practice of Self-Care
Introducing the 8 types of self-care and how to start implementing a few new ideas.
What are Your Rituals of Connection?
How are you and your partner finding consistent connection. Relationships are built on the small moments of interactions everyday.
Why Go On Retreat? 5 Reasons to Join a Therapy Retreat
Whether you are choosing to join an individual retreat or a couple’s retreat here are the top 5 benefits people find while on retreat.
Why Combine Therapy and Nature?
Seeking healing in nature is not a new idea nor a new form of prescribed medicine as doctors throughout the ages have prescribed ‘taking outside air’ or traveling to have ‘a change in air’ to their patients since the Victorian era. There are many medical practices we shouldn’t take from the past however, this is one that has held up to modern scientific research. A rise in the internet dubbed ‘hot girls walks’ across social media platforms like Tiktok and Instagram as well as other social media trends encouraging people to go on daily walks for their mental health, demonstrates the younger generations' interest in using nature to feel better has been building.
Stealth Expectations in Relationships
Checking Expectations as a couple:
I was recently listening to Brene Brown where she discussed Stealth Expectations which really hit a chord with me. I reflected on how much in the past 20 years and currently stealthy expectations have ruined holidays, vacations, and time with my spouse. What are stealth expectations? They are beliefs and expectations we hold about situations that are not communicated and agreed upon.
Meeting Expectations with Boundaries and Self-Compassion
Self-Compassion and Internal Expectations
Learning to manage our expectations is hard work. It takes time to begin seeing all the ways we set ourselves up for shame and punishment around internal expectations. Creating space for self-compassion and reflection with ourselves can help us avoid the shame spiral that comes with failed expectations. It can also help build a habit of questioning what is really important to us vs. what we think needs to be important to us based on societal or external pressures.
We all put expectations on ourselves. Every time you sit and write out a ten-point to-do list for the day, overschedule work or personal commitments, or constantly go to sleep thinking “tomorrow will be different. I will do X, Y, and, Z and be a better person”.
Nature and Our Mood
I took a long walk before sitting down to write this and I was struck by the connection in my brain between smelling the nature around me and linked memories of childhood. It was always easier to get outside and be fully immersed in the grass, water, trees, and dirt as a kid. My adult life feels grief and longing towards those times, and I wonder how to recreate the same feelings now. I remember not worrying about being dirty or cold or wet. There wasn’t a time clock ticking in the back of my mind reminding me of the many other things that I “should” be doing. I also didn’t worry about other people seeing what I was getting up to. This shift in perspective allowed me to be fully outside and let go of everything else going on. There wasn’t a need to remind myself to practice mindfulness because there was no other way of being other than fully present and engaged.
Blending families with kids
Families are complicated and messy this means all families whether they are a “yours mine and ours” or the picture-perfect family down the street. If a deeper look is taken all families have their problems; however why do people have this stigma that combined families are going to be more difficult? After looking up the top googled questions about a “yours, mine and ours” family I was baffled none of them were positive or even neutral about the situation. It was mostly the negatives; can I make this work, how do I make this work, what if I do not like my partners kids, when do I call it quits. All of these are valid thoughts and concerns but growing up with stepparents I feel like there is a really big negative stigma that comes with being a combined family. This stigma I truly believe starts people off already dreading the possibility of this family unit before it even has the opportunity to become a normal non perfect family.
Moving from divorce to a blended family
I work with divorced families and couples as part of my practice. I am also divorced and have experienced the ups and downs of a blended family. I know going through my own divorce and the years of trying to blend my family I found very few resources to help me with this very difficult part of my life. I want to spend some time talking about my experience and thoughts. This post is going to be far less about statistics and research and instead a personal point of view.
How to Better Communicate with Your Partner
This blog post breaks down big questions all about communication with your partner. We will answer questions like how to communicate effectively (and no we are not just talking “I” statements) and the signs of bad communication in a relationship as an introduction to the four horsemen of the apocalypse. We also tackle how to fix a lack of communication in a relationship, what to do if you can’t communicate with your partner and how to communicate your needs in your relationship. If you are looking for more guidance feel free to take a look at joining us on one of our couples retreats in South Eastern Idaho to learn practical skills to better the communication patterns in your relationship.
Why The Gottman Method?
According to research couples wait an average of 6 years before seeking help and 50% of all marriages which end in divorce do so in the first 7 years. So early intervention and learning of skills is important. Another red flag for couples is the loss of connection which research shows leads to divorce around year 16 so learning those specific skills to connect and gain shared meaning and dreams is equally important. 69% of marital conflict is classified as perpetual. These are the arguments you have hashed, rehashed and can repeat by heart due to its recurrence. Learning to manage conflict in a different way reduces these perpetual conflicts and the couples can find shared meaning resolution.
New Year Resolutions
Making changes is a highly difficult, conflicted and at times counter intuitive. We fear change, seek out change and can find change exhausting and invigorating at the same time. This does not mean change is impossible but needs some finesse. I am going to cover a couple of steps which can make change simpler based on the Solution Focused Therapy and Possibility Therapy which I find to be helpful.
Janae’s Personal Recovery Story
Content Warning Depression + Suicide
I think for a while now I have thought my depression was a relatively new part of myself but looking back and being frank with myself, I know it has been with me for a very long time. So, for my recovery story I would like to speak about depression. It seems counter intuitive to talk about depression from a recovery standpoint because, for me depression is a constant companion. Something I carry around with me like a rock. Sometimes it is a small rock in my pocket, a weighted reminder of a part of myself I have grown used to almost able to forget about. And other times it is the rock in my shoe I can’t get rid of, starting out as a small annoyance and compounding step after step into an open and irritating wound immobilizing each step I take.
Tina’s Personal Recovery Story
Content Warning: Sexual Assault, Addiction
“Sometimes you must hit rock bottom to build yourself back up again. .”
Penney’s Personal Recovery Story
“I have held onto the peace of the moment in the rain when I knew I could walk the path and I was equal to the journey.”